Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Spamdini]

I'm gonna review the Fantasia movies I see here like I do every year. Just to remind you that there'll probably be a few spoilers so read with caution if you wanna see these films for yourself some day.


Hatchet (USA)
*** 1/2
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=18

An 80's style horror movie about a deformed zombie psycho (pretty much Jason without the mask) who slaughters a bunch of people who got stranded on a Louisiana swamp tour. The murderer kills them in some insanely awesome and brutal ways (grabs a woman by the roof of her mouth and opens her like a can of Coke, guy has his arms ripped off then swung like a baseball bat and his head is splattered against a statue). The whole idea is that this is a callback to super violent slashers from the good ol' days.

Not particularly scary, but pretty darned funny and gory. Definitely worth seeing if you're a fan of early Friday the 13th movies, Halloween, etc. Kane "badass Jason Vorhees" Hodder plays the killer and a special appearance by Robert "Freddy" Englund.

Due out in theatres this September.

[Spamdini]

Time to play catch up!

The Tripper (USA)
***
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=313

A slasher about a man dressed as Ronald Reagan who kills hippies at a hippie music festival. It's up to the no-nonsense sherrif of the town to stop the killer while dealing with drugged-out freaks who would rather call him a pig than heed his warnings.

Man, this movie was made specifically for me. I'm sure of it! Didn't blow me out of the water, but I was thoroughly entertained and definitely not let down. David Arquette directed it and presented it to the audience, but he didn't acknowledge my WCW shoutout. What a dick. Pee-Wee Herman has a part in this as the sleazy festival organizer and is pretty awesome. This'll probably end up in theatres and while it's not as good overall as Hatchet, the premise alone is magnificent.

[Spamdini]

The Troma Show (Various)
* 1/2
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=390

A collection of short films and live performances, hosted by Lloyd Kaufman. Kaufman was ridiculously unfunny and the films he presented ranged from pretty good to god awful garbage. The live performances were a mixed bag as well, with crap such as two people lip synching to a song from an Indian movie. Some of the live stuff was impressive such as this chick dancing around like a spider or something and the half-naked chicks were somewhat hot. More bad than good though. I left about 2/3 of the way through to catch the last subway home, but don't regret it at all.

[Spamdini]

13 Beloved (Thailand)
***
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=245

The story of a life-long loser who gets a chance at 100 million bhat (Thai money) if he completes 13 challenges given to him by a mysterious person over the phone. They start off relatively benign such as kill a fly then eat it, escalate to some weird or gross stuff such as eat an entire plate of shit or take a homeless man's change jar. As you can guess, the late round stuff involves MURDER!

This movie was touted as one of, if not the best film of the festival. It was good, but I wouldn't go so far as to give it that much high praise. The premise of a reality show with DEADLY RESULTS is not a new one (other examples include the low budget Canadian flick Slashers did the same thing 8 years ago and was very awesome, and of course the epic The Condemned starring STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN), so it's not like it's still a fresh concept anymore. The gross-factor was pretty high for the shit part, but the movie wasn't all that shocking otherwise. The suspense was well done, I liked the ending and it was rather solid otherwise so it was worth watching. Not the best of festival though.

[Spamdini]

The Fox Family (Korea)
****
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=6

The story of a family of four magical foxes who take human form so that they may capture foure humans whose livers they may eat during a once-in-1000-years eclipse in order to become human for good. The elder daughter of the group uses her sexiness to lure a conman who makes secret videos of the women he sleeps with in order to sell. However, he sees her turn into a fox at one point and runs away screaming from her bedroom, only to be captured by the rest of the family. The conman convinces them not to kill him right away by allowing him to help find three more victims, to which the family agrees after he makes up stories of a fox killing conspiracy that's after the family. In the meantime, women are turning up dead and mutilated in alleys, which a detective suspects has something to do with the oddball family (who are posing as circus performers).

Excellent, excellent movie. A funny and charming black comedy that doesn't lay the slapstick on too hard, which is impressive for an Asian comedy. Proof that Korea is still where it's at!

[Spamdini]

A Dirty Carnival (Korea)
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=38
***

A Korean gangster film about a young gangster who tries desparately to work his way up the ladder in order to earn enough to feed and house his family. In the meantime, he meets up with an old friend who is now a movie director looking to make a gangster film of his own and wants his firned to help with inspiration. He also helps reintroduce him to his old high school flame who the gangster still has feelings for. In between the murdering, brawling and intimidating people, he find time to woo her and try his best in order to balance his two lives. Everything turns to shit when the director uses stories that his friend told him as direct inspiration for many scenes in his movie, getting him into serious doo-doo with the big gang boss.

I'm not a gangster movie type of guy so I don't know why I went to see this (MADali I think). It was very good for what it was though and I guess I was pleasantly surprised. Other people might rate this a higher than I did due to my bias against this type of movie, but it was in fact quite good.

[Spamdini]

We Are the Strange (USA)
**
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=79

I don't think I couldn't even begin to describe the plot so I won't.

God, this movie was so disjointed and the animation was so sketchy and fast that it hurt my eyes. Frankly, I was tempted to leave after the first half-hour, and a whole lot of people obviously shared the same sentiment since they were leaving quite regularly. It picked up in the second half so in the end it wasn't so bad. The whole thing was a mix of computer animation, stop-motion animation, 8-bit graphics and music and, uh, scribbles and lots of zooming. Some of it was downright agonizing, but other parts were amusing such as an origami warrior who eats fire and lasers and the NES style sound effects and music had their charm. I was happy with the final 20 minutes, but most of everything else kinda pissed me off. I'll be generous and give it two stars, though it probably deserves less.

[Spamdini]

Dynamite Warrior (Thailand)
****
http://www.fantasiafest.com/2007/en/films/film_detail.php?id=16

A Muay Thai warrior who uses rockets as weapons attacks buffalo traders in order to steal their cattle and give them to poor villagers. He does this while seeking a wizard who murdered his parents. The villain also seeks to attack cattle traders in order to choke the buffalo supply so that he can sell more tractors. He bamboozles the hero into fighting the wrong wizard in order to help with his scheme with the use of a flat-chested cunt and her menstrual fluid.

Though it doesn't have the gritty brutality and as many hard hits as Tony Jaa movies, it is an excellent martial arts film that balances jumping fifty feet in the air with just kneeing a dude in the sternum. Thailand is the new Hong Kong and this is recommended viewing for anyone with MAN BALLS!