Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Mike Dunn]

Man, I remember that John Goodman shit. That tournament was one of the last great FTU THINGS.

How long has it been since we did something fun and creative? And when is Yogurtman gonna compile all the best FTU shit into a coffee table book?

[Big Fagot]

A morgue worker has been sacked after it was discovered that he had performed necrophilia on the corpse of a murdered reality TV star.

Oksana Aplekaeva was murdered in 2008 and her killer has never been found, but police in Russia received new information.

They exhumed her body and carried out new and more detailed forensic tests on her body.

Those tests revealed that she had been sexually violated after her death and DNA led investigators to point the finger at a morgue technician identified only as Alexander, 37.

Speaking after he was sacked, he said: ‘I could not argue against science. I have not been able to find a job for three months.’

He also claims that his wife left him and changed her phone number.

Russian media report that Alexander cannot be punished for his deed, as there is no law in Russian legislation that deals with such incidents.

Aplekaeva was the star of Russia’s top reality show Dom-2 and her was found by a lorry driver on the side of a motorway.

[Big Fagot]

https://www.theonion.com/frothing-alex-jones-claims-sexual-harassment-part-of-wo-1823441287

I pronounce it to be the most whimsical jape of the season!

[Big Fagot]

Fucking *farts*

[Big Fagot]

Nothing at stake: 400 layers of smirking sarcasm

Detects the mouth watering fragrance of delicious likes and shares: *turns into Beavis and Butthead's principal* UUHHHH, UHHHH I LIKE BLACK PEOPLE TOO GOD DAMMIT!!!!

[Big Fagot]

In contrast, here's a great one!

[Fagzilla]

Facebook-pandering fucked the Onion as hard as that morgue guy fucked the reality show lady's dead body.

[Big Fagot]

*farts while screaming*

[Big Fagot]

Venus rover finds ancient humanoid corpse that appears to be responsible for the acidification of the atmosphere starting millions of years ago with one tremendous neverending fart

[Mike Dunn]

Deadly fire exposes wealthy man’s secret underground tunnels

By MICHAEL KUNZELMAN AP, September 9, 2018
BETHESDA, Md. (AP) — The wealthy stock trader took elaborate steps to conceal the network of tunnels beneath his house in this Washington, D.C., suburb. Even the young man helping him dig them didn’t know where they were.

A year ago, a deadly fire exposed Daniel Beckwitt’s curious campaign to build an underground bunker for protection from a nuclear attack. Neighbors knew nothing about the tunnels before they heard Beckwitt’s screams and saw smoke pouring from the house where 21-year-old Askia Khafra (ASK-ee-uh KA-fruh) died that afternoon.

Maryland prosecutors portray Beckwitt, a 27-year-old millionaire, as a paranoid computer hacker who recklessly endangered Khafra’s life. In May, they secured Beckwitt’s indictment on charges of second-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter.

Beckwitt’s lawyer calls Khafra’s death a tragic accident, not a crime. Defense attorney Robert Bonsib concedes Beckwitt is an “unusual guy” but says his client risked his own life in a failed attempt to rescue Khafra.

Beckwitt was freed on bond after his May arrest. His trial is scheduled for April 2019.

Monday marks the anniversary of the Sept. 10, 2017, fire. It’s a day that Khafra’s parents are dreading.

During a recent interview at their Silver Spring, Maryland, home, Dia Khafra, 69, said he and his wife, Claudia, tried to persuade Askia to stay away from Beckwitt’s tunnels. Their son met Beckwitt online and agreed to help him dig the tunnels in exchange for Beckwitt’s investments in an internet company Askia was launching.

“I always feared something dangerous would happen to him,” the elder Khafra said.

Investigators found the younger Khafra’s charred body in the basement of Beckwitt’s Bethesda home. A hole in the concrete basement floor led to a shaft that dropped down 20 feet (6 meters) into tunnels that branched out roughly 200 feet (60 meters) in length.

A police report says Beckwitt told investigators how he tried to preserve his project’s secrecy when he brought Khafra there. Beckwitt said he would rent a car, pick Khafra up and drive him to Manassas, Virginia, where he had the younger man don “blackout glasses” before driving him around for about an hour. Khafra spent days at a time working, eating and sleeping in the tunnels. He had his cellphone with him, but Beckwitt used internet “spoofing” to make it appear he was in Virginia, according to Montgomery County prosecutor Douglas Wink.

“These are the lengths the defendant went through in order to hide the truth from Askia Khafra as to where he was and to maintain the secrecy of these tunnels,” Wink said during a May 31 hearing.

Beckwitt lived alone in “extreme hoarder conditions,” forcing the men to navigate a maze of junk and trash, Wink said. The tunnels had lights, an air circulation system and a heater powered by a “haphazard daisy chain” of power strips that created a fire risk, the prosecutor said.

Hours before the fire, Khafra texted Beckwitt to warn him it smelled like smoke in the tunnels. Beckwitt flipped a breaker that turned off lights in the tunnels but turned the power back on after Khafra said he couldn’t see, Wink said.

Beckwitt ignored those “obvious signs” of danger, the prosecutor told a judge.

Wink said Beckwitt had a “paranoid fixation” on a possible nuclear attack by North Korea. Beckwitt’s lawyer compared his client’s concern to “the days of the Cuban missile crisis.”

Bonsib said Khafra posted photos of himself in the tunnels on social media, suggesting he was proud of the work.

“He kept coming back,” Bonsib said.

Beckwitt’s lawyer described him as a successful “day trader” who has made millions trading stocks. Dia Khafra said his son was impressed by Beckwitt’s wealth.

“I think Askia was very trusting,” he said. “He believed in the guy.”

Dia Khafra said he only met Beckwitt once, when he dropped off his son at their home. He seemed shy.

“He said he made his money off bitcoins,” Khafra recalled.

Beckwitt lived with his parents at the Bethesda house until college. He enrolled at the University of Illinois, where campus police arrested him in 2013 on charges including computer fraud. He was suspected of installing keystroke logging devices on the Urbana school’s computers. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to two years of probation, according to online court records.

The conviction didn’t steer Beckwitt away from computers after he moved back to Maryland. In 2016, he spoke at a hacker convention using the alias “3AlarmLampscooter” and wearing a fire-resistant suit and visor that obscured his face.

Wink said Beckwitt was teaching his audience how to make thermite bombs to destroy computer data “in order to get away with hacking.”

Bonsib said his client’s use of a pseudonym and disguise was harmless, typical of the “weird things” people do on the internet.

County officials sued Beckwitt over his property’s condition, calling it unsafe and a “public nuisance.” Wooden boards now cover the doors and windows of the house, which is surrounded by a chain-link fence and police tape.

Meanwhile, Khafra’s parents haven’t touched their son’s bedroom. The urn holding his ashes remains inside a cardboard box.

“We haven’t had the courage to open that box,” Dia Khafra said.

[Big Fagot]

> MICHAEL KUNZELMAN

[Vinny]

A woman who was dragged through the mechanism of a car park’s roller shutter door died after asking her friend if she had ‘ever held onto the door as it goes up’.

Social worker Heidi Chalkley, 40, was heading for a night out when she grabbed hold of the door as it rose at the entrance to the car park of her friend’s block of flats and was lifted off the ground. She panicked as her hands got trapped and was pulled into the machinery, Monday’s inquest in Huntingdon was told.

A neighbour passing by tried to save the life of the woman, who was left ‘folded’ in the mechanism, by lifting her body up to release pressure on her neck, the inquest heard.
_________________

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Fuck!

[Fagzilla]

There's a lot of pressure on my neck.

[Big Fagot]

Sam Ballard never did anything wrong, if you ask family and friends.

The teenager from Sydney’s upper north shore was having a laugh and some red wine with mates in the backyard, “trying to act like grown ups”.

It was 2010 and it was a night that would change his life, and the lives of everybody around him, forever.

A slug crawled across the concrete patio and, teens being teens, a dare emerged for Sam to eat it.

He didn’t become sick immediately, but complained of serious pain in his legs in the days after.

He was worried it might’ve been a symptom of eating the slug, but his mother told him not to worry: “No-one gets sick from that,” she said.

Sam was worried he might have developed Multiple sclerosis, like his father, but that was ruled out.

Doctors later determined Sam was infected with rat lungworm.

The worm that infected Sam is usually found in rodents, but snails and slugs can also become infected when they eat rat feces.

Sam contracted eosinophilic meningo-encephalitis, which many people recover from. Sam didn’t.

He fell into a coma for 420 days and when he woke had an acquired brain injury.

Last week, eight years after he fell ill, Sam died.

[Mike Dunn]

Owned

[Ryoko's Biatch]

NASA is examining a claim that an astronaut improperly accessed the bank account of her estranged spouse from the International Space Station, The New York Times reported Friday -- potentially the first criminal allegation from space.

NASA astronaut Anne McClain told investigators she had accessed the bank account of her spouse while on a six-month mission aboard the ISS in preparation for her role in NASA's anticipated first all-female spacewalk, the Times reported.
McClain's spouse, former Air Force intelligence officer Summer Worden, brought a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission that McClain had committed identity theft, despite not seeing any indication of moved or spent funds.
Worden's parents then brought another complaint with NASA's Office of Inspector General, alleging that McClain had improperly accessed Worden's private financial records and conducted a "highly calculated and manipulative campaign" to gain custody of Worden's son.
McClain's lawyer, Rusty Hardin, told the Times that "she strenuously denies that she did anything improper" and "is totally cooperating."

[Potatoes]

Beloved saltwater lake has been reduced to just a puddle

"I thought I would disappear before it," one person said as the lake’s rapid disappearance has caused a sense of loss among those who have watched its demise up close.

[Big Fagot]

The Gay Salt Lake