I think I probably posted this in the Wikipedia thread, but I also read it in the bible recently, so here it is again. Never look at your dad's dick, even by accident.
Genesis 9:20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
Wikipedia: Verse 22 has been a subject of debate,[10] as to whether it should be taken literally, or as a euphemism for gross immorality.[9]
Ham suck his drunk daddy's dick????
Fagzilla Got lost in another dimension for a couple months. But seriously, we will actually update the site within the next couple of days. http://www.bandzwiki.com/ Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts: 10111 (Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:43 am) Reply
Re: The Bible
Haha, ham.
Big Fagot Alpha ape Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 10545 (Thu Mar 20, 2014 8:51 am) Reply
So apparently the rabbinical consensus has historically been that Ham sodomized his father, castrated him, and/or went outside and laughed about seeing his dad naked/sodomizing him/castrating him.
Clotho Clotho's rational faculties are not estimated to be at optimal capacity for a sapient specimen Joined: 20 Jan 2007 Posts: 1850 (Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:53 pm) Reply
Re: The Bible
I wonder after recent events if Matt's become curiously religious.
Big Fagot Alpha ape Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 10545 (Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:27 pm) Reply
Yeah I'm not sure how Noah decided to curse Canaan, I'm pretty sure Ham had more than one son.
Ryoko's Biatch Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 9255 (Thu Mar 20, 2014 10:15 pm) Reply
Re: The Bible
Noah was so old and drunk that Canaan was the only grandson's name he could remember. Also, he was a dick.
Fagzilla Got lost in another dimension for a couple months. But seriously, we will actually update the site within the next couple of days. http://www.bandzwiki.com/ Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts: 10111 (Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:51 am) Reply
Re: The Bible
The Bible is so full of retarded shit.
Jason At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk, I thought the older women would like me if I did. Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 7600 (Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:28 am) Reply
Re: The Bible
I only read the Qur'an. _________________ Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total
There's certain people out there who believe that the King James Bible is the pure, genuine word of God, and that the most common Bible out there now (New International Version) is basically the FUNimation dub of Dragonball Z. It sullies God's word similar to how Sean Schemmel made Goku sound like Beavis. I watched a video of a pastor giving a sermon called "Why We Believe the Bible", and he was saying that he believes the King James Bible not because of any kind of historical evidence, but because the book is so good that it could only have been written by God. He read other holy texts but they just didn't jive with him. He trash talked the Qur'an, New International Version Bible, and certain Biblical texts called The Apocrypha and The Gospel of Thomas as fake because the words in them were obviously written by man and not God. He compared them to those cell phone towers that are made to look like trees, but are obviously not trees.
To back up his case, he read a passage that said people will be able to tell the difference between false Jesuses and the real f'in deal. He talked about an incident where some soldiers were sent to arrest Jesus, but he started preaching, and no one laid hands on him. When asked why the soldiers didn't arrest him, they responded, "Never man spake like this man." They were awed into submission by his words. This dude is such a huge fanboy of the King James Bible that his faith is based on it alone. Man that's nuts, I want to read this now!
The video in question:
Seru Custom titles are for heroes, like me. Joined: 08 Jan 2007 Posts: 11012 (Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:37 pm) Reply
Re: The Bible
What a fucking dork. Everybody knows that the Biblical apocrypha is where all the cool shit happens.
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