Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Roy]

The average person can't be expected to be as good of a writer as a Fagtown poster!

[BigJoeMex]

It's fun reading you all again. I only wish it was under different, better circumstances.

Wow. Yikes. Learning about this one was a stinker. I did wish -just like Vinny- that Thel just gave up on posting on a whim and decided to translate Romance of the Three Kingdoms to Esperanto or something.

My memories of him are of course how he loved to argue and discuss a million things. I really dug that he loved old PC RPGs like Wizardry and the like! I think that's the first connection I made with his posting. He was a weird fellow, but that guarantees I won't forget him any time soon.

I've been dealing with death a lot recently. Two of my best friends' parents died, an old friend from my college days passed after suffering from a horrible disease... it's nuts.

I clearly don't have any of the answers you guys are probably left with in terms of dealing with all this, but personally it came to a point where I decided that, instead of mourning the death of those who pass, I'd celebrate their life. I'm gonna try and do the same thing for Theldorrin. I think it's time to pick up Asimov books again!

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Peter, you're forgetting this is a guy who was endlessly entertained by a bump on his wall.

[Utils]

Though I didn't know him personally he was an ACTUAL figure in my life and it's sad to see him go.

[Utils]

Well, fuck.

Never mind.

[MADali]

I'm a bit angry that he did not share with us how serious his situation was.

I would have liked to tell him that there were times when he seemed like a really good person, and I wanted him to know that, even if I am callous online, I did appreciate how he was extremely friendly and helpful when you wanted his help on something.

[MADali]

The one thing I could never guess about Theldorrin is that he had a black nephew.

[Roy]

I remember Uncle Thel's analysis of him:

[Big Fagot]

He could have posted about his illness and impending death, but I wonder if he was actually capable of it. The character Theldorrin played, which was also Theldorrin, was defined by being always sober and in control. He may even have intended to come back and post about his dying but not known how to write it in a way that made sense.

The fact that I kept him waiting by not changing the password on his account may also have made a difference.

Another thought occurs: nothing I remember ever reading, including what's on the funeral home website, said anything about any close friends. Even the posts I saw on the guestbook (lol) are from family, nurses and people who remembered his name from grade school. I also think that the amount of time and effort he spent on FTU was too much to be duplicating anywhere else, which would make us his central community for at least several years. And that's nice, and based on that eulogy I actually feel like I might have known him as well as his own brother did, which is fine. But if that's true it means that he didn't share his own approaching death with the closest thing he had to friends.

Deciding not to tell us was his prerogative even if it does annoy and confuse me. But it takes on additional significance if it means he just felt like dying alone with the exception of a family who considered him bizarre and inscrutable (which he definitely was, but still). That's what I keep thinking about.

[Big Fagot]

The most important thing Theldorrin ever did was teaching Bitter Gigatron how to use a ruler.

[MADali]

If you also notice that there aren't many pictures of him as an adult, with most of those being pictures of him being at his brothers wedding. Did he not have any more pictures, or did his family subconsciously want to remember him as a healthy child?

Which would be sweet, if not for an underlining thought that his family might have treated him in a way that made his past more important, and his present less so.

His need to hide his life might have stemmed from the fact that his family might have treated it like a life that needed to be hidden.

As Peter said, FTU wasn't really Theldorrin's secret community of geeky friends, it seems that since he didn't have an offline group, it makes the implications of him never really opening up more concerning.

I know its shitty to be amateurishly psychoanalyzing our deceased friends, but he does seem to have been part of a family that could not really help.

But I guess thats really FTU anyway.

[Sporkism]

Maybe Theldorrin's death took him by surprise? Obviously he had a condition, but maybe he thought he had more time, and this was a result of a very sudden complication. Maybe he didn't bring it up because he didn't even know, himself.

I don't know what exactly happened, I'm just speculating. It seems weird that he wouldn't tell us. I also wonder what happened for all those months away from FTU. I can't imagine he wouldn't have requested the use of a computer/internet if he was at all capable of using it, considering it seemed to consume the majority of his life. It seemed like no matter what time of the day or night I was on, Theldorrin was ALWAYS online. I wasn't sure when he ever slept.
_________________


@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Seru]

Allow me to end this idle speculation with even more idle speculation. Mind you this comes from a professional that's been treating the chronically ill for over 30 years so it has more merit (Also, it's my dad.). When I told him what condition Theldorrin had he immediately launched into diagnosis mode and said it's only fatal when there's a serious complication that happens without warning. That was followed by a lot of medical jargon I couldn't decipher but the gist of it was that something likely shot to his brain which wouldn't leave him any time to crack open a laptop. His lack of presence might be because of hospital policies on WiFi use.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

I don't think the lack of photographs of his adult years means his parents are hiding anything, I just don't think he was someone who cared much about recording his life that way. As far as I can tell and remember, he was pretty close to his family and talked many times in the chat about his brother and nephews. He may not have had any close friends outside of FTU and his family, I certainly don't remember him mentioning any after he graduated from college. Which can probably be explained by his health issues being more serious than any of us thought. He was a private person who either due to being appearance consciousness or physical difficulty (or both) probably didn't get out much.

But, yeah, it's probably not appropriate to make too many assumptions about his life outside of the board/chat. He may have been basically the same person online and in meatspace, but there's a lot he didn't tell us. If it wasn't for Trevor and ALDP putting a lot of pieces together, we wouldn't even know he had died.

Anyway, it's pretty safe to say he had more of an impact on us than maybe even he knew. A lot of people around here were inspired by his interests and had some pretty good times with him on the board, in the chat and in games.

[Fagzilla]

It makes me mad to think about the fact that when I die, I won't be able to read the thread about me.

I kind of want to fake my own death now.

[Bladtman]

You've written at least 3 internet eulogies for yourself so you should have an idea.

[Fagzilla]

[Yogurtman]

I actually had the exact same thoughts as Roy, regarding his lack of posting...I just assumed he was staying exclusively in the chat out of spite over not being able to use his actual account.

[GimpMask]

I was going to say something, then it hit me he is dead, and I'm starting to cry.

Jesus

[Magic Juan]

I was cleaning out my gmail last week and I found an email from Hector with the vampire character he was going to play and it hit me hard.

I was not as close to Theldorrin as everyone else, especially since before he disappeared I had left the chat, but he was around for as long as I have been on the fucking internet! When I started posting at MPP at 11 or whatever, he was there, posting about math and getting into flamewars with R0x0rdood, if I recall correctly. His anonymity was always annoying to me because we all started to shed our online personas and he was relentless about keeping up the facade. Except that his veneer was exactly who he was, and I don't think he was capable of doing any differently.

There was literally no internet for me without Theldorrin and now he is dead.