Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Captain PUNisher · (Wed Mar 20, 2013 2:07 am)

My top five WWE matches from 2012.

The Undertaker vs. HHH - Wrestlemania

I loved the drama and story of this match. I liked how Shawn Michaels stopped HHH from going to far with the sledge hammer, and then when he gave Undertaker a Sweet Chin Music into a Pedigree. I felt that in that moment Michaels believed that Undertaker would have rather died than lose, so he thought that if he finished the match faster that it would be a mercy on Undertaker, and he didn't think he would be able to kick out of both moves.

Shamus vs. Daniel Bryan - Extreme Rules

This match makes me even more upset that we got screwed out of Bryan/Shamus at Wrestlemania. I liked Bryan getting himself DQed in order to gain an edge. I liked Shamus busting out a Texas clover leaf to adapt to Bryan (which is something I like in matches). And a lot of people on the Internet seemed to like how Shamus turned away from Bryan's kicks to protect his hurt arm, so that's cool too.

CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan - Over the Limit

Pretty much just two indy-darlings putting on a great wrestling match over the WWE Championship. I also thought that the commentary was actually really good. They really sold these guys as being something special and being people we should care about, which doesn't happen enough. I also loved Punk telling the ref that he had until five.

CM Punk vs. John Cena - Night of Champions

I loved the story this match told. These two rivals have become so familiar with each other that their normal move sets aren't going to cut it, and they are going to have to pull some shit out of their ass to win. Cena doing a tope suicida was really cool and surprising, and Punk using the Rock Bottom was a nice nod to the future.

Hell No/Ryback vs. The Shield - TLC

The Shield did not disappoint in their debut match. I love they way these guys fight. Everyone in this match looked good. I liked that Daniel Bryan got a few hero spots in, and that they kept Ryback looking strong because the only reason his team lost is because he got distracted by wanting to kill people so bad.
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Said the Captain PUNisher.

GimpMask · (Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:04 am)

The Undertaker's honor and virtue are seemingly without any boundaries

That's an American Hero, even when he gets double-teamed and he's about to take a vicious blow that would rupture his internal organs, bam! But no, he gets thrown out of the bed, uh, RING, and is implored by some his sweaty partner to put away the sludgehammer, with the size of its head truly frightening, and the wily old Heartbreak Kid shattered his pride by unloading a whole lot of sweet chin music that left a sharp, metallic taste in his mouth.

He then showed up positive for HIV and chlmydia after a test and was going to kill him for even suggesting it was from rape, he's no faggot, he simply shares needles for his modest smack habit and weekly anabolic steroid/HGH injections

GimpMask · (Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:48 am)

I bet John Cena was pulling a lot of shit out of his ass, during that session!

If I did something like this for Naruto I would never hear the fucking end of it anytime somebody wished to degrade me.

So I'm not making fun, your courage of conviction is something to be commended, not scream out " God damn it Jay I told you not to use our small child as a fucking prop in your backdo--is that smell a stray cat? LOOK JAY, LOOK AT OUR STEFANIE, , MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR WITH YOUR MATES YOUD HAVE NOTICED OUR CHILD WAS SPRAYED. BY. A. STRAY CAT!!! Oh and and Jay, , please stop using the babies bottle as a hiding spot for your stash. Do you think I'm stupid? I KNOW YOU SMOKE YOU FUCKING ASS. ALL THOSE WATER PILLS AND BOTTLES OF GOLD SEAL DID NOT TIP ME OFF? Look, you want to put this family at risk, have a fucking blast, but if you don't get the bucket RIGHT now and clean up Stefanie ... ... I need something to eat. But all. I SEE. ARE EMPTY FUCKING CANS OF CORNED FUCKING BEEF HASH! WAS BRIAN OVER HERE *sound of plate shattering* tell him to buy his OWN FOOD! What does he do with his food stamps for God's sake? He what!? YOU TRADED HIM THE REST OF MY OF MY XANAX FOR .... Jay honey, I know, he looked tired and was distressed over the Pasco county teacher who was a former professional wrestler who was reprimanded by for creating test questions filled with excessive violence and not doing anything about a student of his who was found with a knife in his backpack

OH PERFECT, JAY, THESE AREN'T FOOD STAMPS, ITS A CHECK WITH SOME TWEAKED OUT SCRIBBLE ABOUT HOW A LOT PF CRYSTALLINE SPIDERS MARCHED OFF WITH HIS HORN AND THAT'S. THIS CHECK IS WORTH S LOT OF GIL "

Mike Dunn · (Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:26 am)

I liked that in the Night of Champions match Punk wore Yankee pinstripe trunks to draw heat from the Boston crowd.

GimpMask · (Wed Mar 20, 2013 2:13 pm)

*JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, THEY'RE ONLY TALKING ABOUT STUFF THEY MUTUALLY ENJOY, MOVE ALONG, BUT ITS SO SPORTS GAY NARUTO GAY DRUGS GAY SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI GAY WRESTLING .... A ... OHKAY!...*

GimpMask · (Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:05 pm)

In all seriousness, one of the better moments I ever remember was back in 1997(?) When Stone Cold Steve Austin brutally attacked Jake the Snake's protégés, the infamous Aldo Montoya, when they had that wrestling show on Saturday mornings.

Aldo was being taken off in ambulance and Stone Cold was a paramedic and beat him terribly, with no quarter or mercy.

This retarded little thingy that pops up and would replace a word like Tensei with tendrils and replaces aldp with Aldo

Oh yeah, and Val Venis was the best thing that wrestling has ever done, except for the brilliant idea of having Owen Hart walk around on a beam and watching him plummet to his doom, that fucked up Droz guy slobbering on himself slurring out some shit, and Vince McMahon appearing before a pay-per-view announcing this Rob Guy was found dead of an overdose. Why? Aldo Montoya was the replacement wrestler on the undercard!

Captain PUNisher · (Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:16 pm)

Oh yeah, I should have mentioned his trunks.

In general I like how Punk has Chicago flag inspired trunks. If I were a wrestler I would want to do that, except that the Tacoma flag is ugly.
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Said the Captain PUNisher.

Captain PUNisher · (Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:25 pm)

I should probably try to watch that new attitude era DVD, since that is when I started watching wrestling and did start again until like two years ago. Although that really means I should hope they release a DVD of the years I missed. But that probably unlikely because of Benoit.

That's part of the reason I want to play WWE '13. And I really want to be super geeky about it and pretend that there is a rip in the time-space continuum that brings the attitude era wrestlers to the present.
And I really want a tag team of both Mark Henerys called the Wig Splitters.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

Mike Dunn · (Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:25 am)

I have the Attitude Era DVD, and it's not all that great. If you're going to get it, get the Blu-Ray, because it has I believe 7 extra matches in the special features. There's not enough Jericho, Kane, Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, I dunno, they leave a lot of people out. Most of the matches they choose are good, but some of them are totally whatever. And the documentary itself is a huge waste of time. It's just "haha, this happened", with no narrative flow, and very little behind the scenes insight.

I also have the Undertaker Streak DVD, which is very good.

Captain PUNisher · (Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:36 am)

Kurt Angle is probably because he is in TNA now, but yeah, I don't know why they'd neglect the others, espeshily Kane and Jericho who are there now.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

Mike Dunn · (Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:19 am)

Wow, Raw last night was incredible. I'm going to the Smackdown taping tonight, and I hope the rest of Boston is as ready to bring it as I am. I'll be sorely disappointed if I don't get to hum Fandango's theme song with the crowd tonight. The commercials say that there will be a Shield 6-man tag team match tonight. If their opponents end up being Undertaker, Kane and Daniel Bryan I will mark the fuck ouuuuuuuuuuut.

Fagzilla · (Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:57 pm)

Wrestling definitely seems to be on a bit of a comeback!

GimpMask · (Tue Apr 09, 2013 4:15 pm)

You probably saw me post it somewhere, but did you hear about that one time Eddie Guerrero, Razor Ramon, Diesel, and I think maybe Hulk Hogan (not sure about that last one) were getting all fucked up on various and sundry chemicals on a JET PLANE ZOOM ZOOM! and inevitably a brawl broke out and somebody was trying to open the escape hatch in mid flight, I believe Eddie Guerrero, not thinking that his brilliant lack of a feasible or sane plan would have not been to his benefit? Or somebody got thrown into it and the hatch got partially opened or something.

Cocaine (and Meth and Anabolic steroids and MDMA and PCP and pills of all type with bourbon--am I missing any?) is a hell of a drug

Mike Dunn · (Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:54 pm)

Chris, this happened:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsBOiNAYWtM&feature=youtu.be

Mike Dunn · (Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:59 pm)

If you hear a big pop during the Chris Jericho match this Friday that doesn't seem to make any sense with what's happening in the match, it's because a fat guy with a beard was being ejected from the TD Garden for smoking weed and was taking his shirt off and resisting the security officers for a good three minutes or so before he was dragged out of sight.

*SPOILERS*

Mike Dunn · (Tue Apr 09, 2013 11:03 pm)

GimpMask · (Wed Apr 10, 2013 1:30 am)

*is sweating immensely for no reason, slides into the ring on his DONK blob belly and howls as standing the second turnbucklrl

Mike Dunn · (Wed Apr 10, 2013 12:48 pm)

There needs to eventually be a wrestler with a luchador Gimp Mask who only wrestles submission specialists.

GimpMask · (Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:13 pm)

That really would be fucking amazing.

He could have a gimp mask, always sweaty as Patrick Ewing, and a loin cloth with wrestling undies made of thin latex the color of stale sweat and shame. Whatever that color is.

*jumps up and down on Mike Dunn's couch after making fun of it for an elongated period of time*

GimpMask · (Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:04 pm)

JR in his herky jerky palsied wrestling memes that form slowly in his brain and pour out like like a cascade of perspiration from a single pore located on Patrick Ewing's torso when his dysfunctional nervous system fire off a mac-10 esque burst of distorted neuronal firings might kill him, as I would leave him notes in his padded dressing room with padded corners to the old computer desk he flips out over if they ever try to replace it (he keeps telling people that's where he received CPR from Shawn Michaels, when it was in fact non-consensual deep-tongue kissing and butthole-fingering leading to rape which ended with sweet chin music TWICE, the second being the atomic spin kick that fucked JR up forever ) that tell him to say shit from Dan Le Betard's verbal genki damawhen LeBron made his decision