Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Theldorrin]

I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be FTU dark or whatever, but I really feel like something inside of me is growing. I am extremely good in reading people, I can understand their personality in minutes, which is a talent that has been extremely useful in my career, and while it started as helping me in trying to sell my products as a sales man years ago, it has turned into an ability to easily manipulate people. I know we joked around with pushing buttons lol, but I've been extremely good at this, not pushing buttons to make people angry, but to say, act, and be to achieve my goals.

I've become a very likable person, I've created a personality that thrives of fake humbleness and giving people the feeling that I'm transparent, naive, and honest. I've picked up chicks by bashfully claiming that I'm bad at picking up chicks and gotten clients by awkwardly claiming that I'm not really a good salesperson so I can't sell them anything they don't need.

None of these were really done on purpose, but one day, I suddenly realized that I'm acting every single moment and analysing everyone around me. Because most of my actions and decisions have turned out to be really helpful for my career and personal life (I'm the youngest Country Manager in my company, out of 70+ countries), this has given me the feeling that I'm really better than everyone else. Like a certain number of teenagers, I felt it when I was young, but now that I'm older, I feel that I have enough evidence to support the fact.

All this has made me into a careful, egoistic, self-assured, manipulative, actor. I rarely get angry, but when I do, I'm either acting angry (but not really angry) because its the best action to be taken at that time, or actually angry. The latter frightens myself, because its a raw, brutal feeling, that I feel like I can barely contain it. In this state, either I say nothing and just stare, and I've heard from more than one person, that my stare frightens them. I've had employees and my wife cry, just by looking at them. One of my colleagues (before I was management) told me, months later after one of my states, that she considered herself as a tough, independant woman, but she got scared when I got angry. She told me my eyes resembled wolves eyes. However, this stare and sometimes my calm voice is me restraining myself. But I've lost my control a few times, and then its something else, I become violent and cruel. I had such a moment with my wife last month, and I came close to physically harming her, and I felt something inside of me, struggling to control my anger.

I feel as my path goes on, I push myself deeper inside my mask and my created personality, but recently, I feel all this restrainment and control is creating or giving rise to something darker inside me. As I mentioned, because I am so likable, I have had employees talk to me about their personal issues, and when girls cry in my office about their problems, I'm supportive, gentle, and kind, and when they leave, I cometimes have an erection. In my sexual fantasies, it all turns into me harming others, young girls and boys, married couples, mothers, all humiliated, harmed, just to satisfy my urges. In my mind, I sometimes fantasize in minute details in how to kidnap someone, kill them, and dispose of their body in a way that I am not caught. Not because I want to kill anyone, but because I want to do something completely real and true, and then, know that I got away with it. I imagine people closest to me dying, just so I can feel tormented and hurt, and lead a tragic pained life. I pretend that through a great loss in my life, I can be more in touch with my humanity, and find some freedom through it.

This confession has meant nothing.
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@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Theldorrin]

I think I could possibly be the most successful person at FTU. Few months back I was promoted to handling the company's branch in Iran, which means I have over 100 employees working under me, and several branches in Iran, with the company's revenue being in the millions. I currently make a decent amount of money, which might not be huge compared to western salaries (but I still think it might be above most FTUers) but certainly puts me in the 1% in Iran. However, I also have a decent investment portfolio consisting of a property, gold reserves, and I have money saved in both Iran and Dubai bank. I'm also thinking of starting business on the side, since I have money lying around.

Of course, I enjoy none of these things, and I feel like Patrick Bateman.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[johnbuisthegreat]

Thel that sounds a lot like Madali's life...

[MADali]

But Madali lives in Saudi Arabia

[Yogurtman]

*hog power*

[MADali]

Well, that's a shitty thing to do.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

It's okay to confess here, MADali. We don't judge.

[MADali]

None of its true. Its just a FTU madali persona.

[johnbuisthegreat]

It was a copy of American Psycho.

How about you being in business and what not? Is it all untrue or just some?

[MADali]

I dont even live in the middle east. I'm Theldorrin's sister

[johnbuisthegreat]

this is getting quite erotic... tell me more

[Theldorrin]

Gosh. Spoiler warning, MADali.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[MADali]

Theldorrin likes me to put my finger in his asshole while he writes code.

[johnbuisthegreat]

Is it the only way he can write code anymore...

[Fagzilla]

I actually kind of feel for MADali, with his gay posts in this thread.

There are certain feelings and opinions and philosophical positions that you have to start keeping to yourself at a certain point in life, simply because you automatically sound 14 when you express them.

That being said, fuck you of course, because you're the fucking FIRST person who would make fun of a post like the ones you made, but still. I... I feel your pain.

[MADali]

If you can't talk to FTU about your feelings, who CAN you talk to?

[johnbuisthegreat]

Talk to a hooker about feelings that is what they get paid for.