Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Spamdini]

Monster Brawl (Canada)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=483
*****

A wrestling pay-per-view engaging various monstrous creatures and undead horrors against in each in one-on-one duels to the death. Basically someone made FTUW: The Movie. Just find it and watch it.

Also, Dave Foley provides color commentary and Jimmy Hart is the ring announcer. So good!
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[Spamdini]

True Legend (Hong Kong/China)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=601
****

A man's is beaten to near death by his foster brother/brother-in-law and is forced to train to fight back and rescue his son. All the while, he descends into madness and later to booze.

Some of the best action scenes and gorgeous training scenes I have seen in a martial arts movie. The plot was pretty good for the first hour and a half, but the final half hour is peculiar in that it seems to be barely related to the rest of the film. Nevertheless, it does not detract from the awesomeness of the action. The main villain, a pale fellow who uses Five Venoms Fist, is particularly badass with armor stitched to his skin and some crazy techniques. Thoroughly enjoyable for any kung fu fan.
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[Spamdini]

I was supposed to see Urban Explorer last night, but skipped it to watch a football game. My friend who went to see it said it was terrible, but he's also a cynical asshole who hated Monster Brawl and prefers slow paced Russian dramas. Fag.
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[Vinny]

I watched True Legend tonight and was wondering how you could continue a movie after the hero defeated his step brother who was covered in metal armor stitched to his flesh and filled with various poisons. But then the hero has to battle a group of evil white people led by David Carradine.
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[Spamdini]

And survive a powerbomb, Tombstone piledriver, torture rack and electric chair drop. I also seem to recall an elbow drop being part of his awesome three-hit combo he did on those two wrestlers.
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[Spamdini]

But Monster Brawl had Wolfman put Frankenstein in a figure-four leg lock.
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[Spamdini]

13 Assassins (Japan)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=603
***

An asshole feudal lord enjoys killing, maiming and raping people for the hell of it. Because he's an asshole. So a group of samurai are hired to assassinate him and plan on doing so by luring him and his 200 man army into a booby trapped town.

The first hour of the movie exists solely to set up the final showdown, and it makes for a pretty boring lead up. The action is pretty cool for most part with flaming bulls being the highlight, but the payoff doesn't quite live up to the hype. Other people I was with really enjoyed it, so maybe I'm just spoiled by the high quality of movies I saw so far this year.
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[Spamdini]

Gantz (Japan)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=440
***1/2

A live action adaptation of the first three Gantz story arcs. There are some changes to the details naturally, but it's a pretty faithful recreation. The biggest difference other than the lack of some characters (such as Hojo and Lara Croft) is that Kurono, Kishimoto and Kato are portrayed as college age kids and Kurono is desperately trying to find a job and trying to make himself stand out in interviews all the while.

The aliens are pretty cool too. Tanaka alien in particular looked awesome and nothing screamed of cheap CGI. The gore was toned down significantly with far off shots of blood geysers being the only explicit way people or monsters were shown being killed. Still, it was a lot better than I expected.

There was a second Gantz movie playing this year that is a direct follow up to this one, but I couldn't see it. I'll probably end up downloading it because the first one was pretty neat.
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[Vinny]

I watched 13 Assassins and probably enjoyed it more than you did. The movie needed to be shorter, however.

I skimmed through the first GANTZ film while pretty drunk. I was fairly excited since the Onion alien exploded in a big, gory mess. Unfortunately, I was incredibly disappointed when the Buddha aliens exploded and were completely hollow on the inside.
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[Spamdini]

Redline (Japan)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=447
***1/2

I've got a lot of these to catch up on so my memory is a tad fuzzy. Here we go though!

A pompadoured race car driver Sweet JP enters in the biggest race in the universe: the Redline, where there are no rules and competitors often try to blow up the competition before they can reach the finish line. There's a catch this year though, as the Redline is being held on Roboworld, ruled by dictator cyborgs who shoot any and all trespassers on sight.

The animation was extremely nice, and there was enough stuff blowing up to keep it interesting. Most importantly of all though, it was an anime movie without any overwrought philosophical bullshit that bogged down the final act. The movie was played pretty straight right till the end and that is a rarity nowadays among the Japanese.
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[Spamdini]

Battlefield Heroes (Korea)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=431
***

In ancient Korea, the Chinese attempt to conquer rebels with the help of Korean farmers they conscripted into battle. And so the overwhelmed rebels use their vicious brutality and secret weapon technology to try to hold the Chinese at bay while the Koreans on the Chinese side goldbrick in an attempt to make it home alive.

Battlefield Heroes could best be described as an epic war comedy, and succeeds for most part. There wasn't a lot that was exactly laugh out loud funny, but enough to be entertaining. More interesting was the fact that even the much larger Chinese army was portrayed as sympathetic due to the fact that it consisted largely of people who didn't even want to be there. The result was an anti-war movie that felt neither preachy nor boring. Some more actual humor could have helped though. Also, the Korean super crossbow would have made Zhuge Liang proud!
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[Spamdini]

Bangkok Knockout (Thailand)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=430
****1/2

A stunt team is kidnapped and forced to fight an army of mercenaries to the death for the benefit of millionaires who bet on the outcome of these fights. That's about it, other than an hour and a half of fighting.

This has surpassed Ong Bak as my favorite Thai action movie. The plot is threadbare at best, but it constantly kicks ass till the end, with the best end boss since General Fujita.
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[Yogurtman]

High praise!

I haven't exactly watched a lot of Thai movies, but do they just not do plots? For example, no Tony Jaa movie makes any sense, even by the standards of martial arts movies.

[FancyMichael]

HOly shit. I just clicked on Redline, and that guy's pompadour is completely out of control.

[NakedSnake]

Is it just me or is Spamdini some sort of pussy?
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It is I, Outland

[Mike Dunn]

Them's fightin words

[NakedSnake]

Why is it whenever I say something that is completely common sense, it sounds like a troll to obivous retards like yourself?
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It is I, Outland

[Mike Dunn]

I'm just saying Spamdini could kick your ass.

[Spamdini]

Last Days Here (USA)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/film_detail.php?id=629
***1/2

Bobby Liebling, lead singer of a Black Sabbath-ish metal band called Pentagram, is in his 50's, living in his parents' basement and just barely alive after a decade of abusing heroin, crack and meth. An indie-rock journalist finds him and decides that he will help Pentagram become successful some 45 years after they failed to hit the big time. Unless the cadaverous Bobby dies first.

Continuing the tradition of solid documentaries that Fantasia has had these last few years, Last Days Here is not terribly groundbreaking in its concept, but extremely well executed. Bobby is a clearly insane individual who has been destroyed by his years of self-abuse and commands equal parts disgust and sympathy for his condition and the way he acts. He's also a very charismatic individual when he wants to be, even to this day. It makes for a very compelling story and Pentagram's music is surprisingly decent.
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[Spamdini]

Small Gauge Trauma (Various countries)
http://fantasiafestival.com/2011/en/films/spotlight.php?id=50

An assortment of horror and/or dark short movies.

Animal Control (***) - A lonely animal control agent who specializes in scraping roadkill and taxidermy finds a dog that has survived an accident and deicdes to take care of him. Touching, I suppose.

Birdboy (** 1/2) - An animated short involving animals in a bleak, ravaged landscape. Didn't make a lick of sense story wise, but looked cool.

Devourment (**) - Zombie apocalypse from the zombie's point of view. Not much happened. Yep.

Falling (*) - I'm falling! Hurrrr *several minutes of experimental cinematography and stupid dialogue*

Good Morning Beautiful (*** 1/2) - A man tries to cope with the loss of his newborn son who was born prematurely and dies in intensive care. Neat visuals with a good sense of black humor.

Incubator (**) - A guy wakes up in a bathtub full of ice to find his kidney stolen. And what's this? Oh shit, they put an alien in my stomach where my kidney used to be! Gets extra points for being the most unintentionally funny short in the program.

Picnic (****) A family picnic turns horrific when the mother discovers the hard way that they are on an old mine field. The most frightening of the movies by far, and maybe the most emotional too. The realism of the situation and the use of silence really helped make an impact.

Play Dead (****) - Zombie Apocalypse from the point of view of dogs. My favorite of the lot. The obliviousness of the animals to the plight of humanity being ripped to shreds is pretty danged funny.

Sophie Gets Ahead (** 1/2) - Sophie is getting her snatch eaten out when something is shuffling and making noises by a nearby tree. It's a joke that you can see a mile away as the short begins ("she's getting head from a head, durr hurr hurr"), but amusing for what it is.

Waffle (* 1/2) - Some chick isn't happy when people make fun of her, so she gets her revenge. Pretty bad, but like Incubator it gets points for unintentional humor.

Overall, the good movies were really good and the bad ones were at least tolerable. *** overall.
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