Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

8 bit orgy · (Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:24 pm)

Documents recently added to the FBI's online reading room, the Vault, detail the period between 1947 and 1954 when "a rash of sightings of unexplained flying objects (UFOs) swept America," according to the website.

The memos track a sense of incredulity and frustration by the part of FBI agents assigned to the task. Agents describe feeling slighted by the work delegated to them by the newly formed U.S. Air Force.

"It is my understanding from recent Bureau instructions that we are to assist the Air Force Intelligence personnel in the investigation of flying disc incidents," one memo reads.

The author later adds that FBI has been enlisted to track down "all the many instances which turned out to be ash can covers, toilet seats and what not," asks that the FBI not be asked to conduct investigations "which are not important and are almost, in fact, ridiculous."

Another letter adds to that point, pointedly stating to a superior that "I cannot permit the personnel and time of thie organization to be dissipated in this matter."

BigJoeMex · (Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:33 pm)

God damn it!

BigJoeMex · (Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:33 pm)

Gay news, alright. Gay as in dumb!

Mike Dunn · (Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:48 pm)

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FAGGOT FRANK

Mike Dunn · (Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:31 pm)

Coheed and Cambria Bassist Arrested Before Gig

7/10/2011 5:18 PM PDT by TMZ Staff

Michael Todd, the bassist for the band Coheed and Cambria, was arrested for armed robbery after he allegedly held up a Walgreens by claiming he had a bomb ... and this all went down right before they played a show!

According to police in Attleboro, MA ... Todd showed a pharmacist a cell phone note that said he had a bomb and demanded Oxycontin. He made off with six bottles of pain pill and fled via taxi.

But police say he was spotted in the cab and police were able to track it via the dispatcher ... to the Comcast Center where Coheed and Cambria were set to open up for Soundgarden.

Police said Todd was arrested without incident after he was identified by the cab driver, the pharmacist and by store surveillance video.

Todd was charged with armed robbery and unlawful possession of prescription narcotics. He is being held on $10,000 bail and will be arraigned on Monday morning.

LexysaurusRex · (Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:43 pm)

Authorities: Woman tries to sneak husband out of jail in suitcase

A 19-year-old woman was arrested for allegedly trying to sneak her husband out of prison in a suitcase, according to authorities in the Mexican Caribbean state of Quintana Roo.

According to officials at the prison in the city of Chetumal, the state's capital, the woman identified as Maria del Mar Arjona was caught as she was leaving the prison, pulling a black-wheeled suitcase.

Authorities said that as she was walking up a staircase to leave the prison, Arjona hit the suitcase against the stairs. When something inside the bulky suitcase moved, guards noticed and stopped Arjona, who acted nervously. The guards then looked inside the suitcase and found her husband, Juan Ramirez Tijerina.

Cesar Manuel Castilla, a spokesman for Quintana Roo's Department of Public Safety, says that in any case it would have been extremely difficult for the inmate to escape in the suitcase.

"We have three inspection stations at the prison and he was caught in the first one," Castilla said. "In any case, she would have been asked to open the suitcase for inspection at the third and last inspection station. I don't know what they were thinking."

Pictures of the incident released by Quintana Roo's Department of Public Safety show the man curled up inside the suitcase in a fetal position. He was covering his face when the pictures where taken.

Ramirez is serving a sentence at the Chetumal prison after being convicted of federal drug trafficking charges.

He was immediately returned to his cell while Arjona was detained. She now faces multiple charges stemming from the Saturday incident. According to Castilla, Arjona is six months pregnant. She fell ill after being detained. Charges and a court appearance are pending while she recovers at a state hospital.

Arjona was at the prison for a conjugal visit, Castilla said.

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Theldorrin · (Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:22 pm)

I think it's hilarious that he can't fit in the suitcase.
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BigJoeMex · (Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:09 pm)

Gay News Mexico!

Ryoko's Biatch · (Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:11 pm)

GARDEN GROVE, Calif. (KTLA) -- A woman is under arrest after police say she drugged her husband, cut off his penis and threw it into the garbage disposal.

Garden Grove police were sent to the home in the 14000 block of Flower Street around 9 p.m. Monday night after a woman called 911 for a medical emergency, according to Lt. Jeff Nightengale. When officers arrived, they found a man bleeding from the crotch area.

The woman, identified as Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, the victim's wife, had put an unknown type of poison and/or drug into her husband's food to make him sleepy, according to Nightengale. She then tied him to the bed. When he woke up, she cut off his penis with a knife, investigators said. She then tossed the penis in the garbage disposal and turned it on.

The victim was transported to UCI Medical Center in Irvine where he underwent emergency surgery and is listed in serious condition.

Investigators say the couple was married, but going through a divorce. The initial investigation determined that Becker made dinner for her husband. He told detectives that he thought there was something wrong with his food. He went to lie down and woke up tied to his bed. His wife then grabbed the victim's penis and cut it off. She called 911 and told responding officers that he "deserved it."

A search warrant was served at the home and detectives found a knife and a rope.

Becker is under arrest, charged with aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse. She is currently being held at the Orange County jail.

ALDP · (Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:40 am)

Have there always been so many stories about dudes getting their cocks chopped off? At this point it seems like there should be a topic for it on Fark.

Big Fagot · (Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:24 pm)

Man, Fark???

Mike Dunn · (Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:47 pm)

A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.

Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.

But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.
She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.

Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.

She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going.

The would-be robber was eventually released, with Zajak saying he had learned his lesson.

Jasinski went straight to the police and told them of his back-room ordeal, saying that he had been held hostage, handcuffed naked to a radiator, and fed nothing but Viagra.

Both have now been arrested.

When police arrived to question Zahjac, she said: 'What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left."

Ryoko's Biatch · (Fri Jul 15, 2011 6:59 pm)

A Spanish priest, Andrés García Torres, who has a parish in the Madrid dormitory town of Fuenlabrada has said he will go to Rome to show that he is being expelled from his parish unfairly.

It comes after the Bishop of Getafe has demanded that he goes under psychiatric therapy to ‘cure’ his homosexuality, and has an HIV test, following claims made that he has had a relationship with a 28 year old Cuban seminarian, claims which are based on a photo of him hugging the man on a trip to Fátima. Both men are shirtless in the photo.

‘Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated’, said the priest who insists that they are only friends. He complains that his mother has not stopped crying at what has happened.

Since the story has broken the priest has said he is very happy to see his church full of people and those who attend the modest parish say that they will demonstrate against the Bishop’s plans to have their local priest transferred.

The locals say that the priest is a very human person, dedicated to helping others. More than 1,000 local signatures have been gathered in his support.

Richard Cristopolis · (Fri Jul 15, 2011 11:34 pm)

I do not believe the myth that assholes can be distended as such.

There are plenty of gay dudes who can still poop. There are plenty of porn stars who can likewise still poop. There isn't much correlation between the stress the anus can sustain and the "stretching" thereafter.

A girls vagina is hardly ever ruined, other than through age. An asshole is no different.

I assf IF FUCK iefs BELLADONNA fuckFIGN IS gucK FUCK

Ryoko's Biatch · (Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:40 am)

Rick, you should let someone measure your asshole to test your theory.

Ryoko's Biatch · (Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:05 pm)

LAWTON, Okla. -- A horrible accident at a Bar S plant in Southwest Oklahoma has taken the life of a young man. Twenty-six-year-old Michael Raper lived in Duncan with his fiance and four children, but Wednesday afternoon his promising life came to an abrupt end.

"He made my niece very happy," Diane Ferris said.

Ferris remembers the man who was months away from becoming a part of her family.

Raper was engaged to be married to her niece in February.

Monday Raper celebrated his 26 birthday.

"I just can't believe it," Ferris said. "It just happened all so fast."

Late Tuesday night Raper was working at the Bar S plant in Lawton where he was in charge of cleaning the machinery.

"He slipped and went into the machine. He was still conscious at the time," Ferris said. "So I can imagine the agony he was in, and he lost both of his legs in this accident."

Ferris says it took about two hours to free Raper, but the trauma was just too much.

He died Wednesday afternoon leaving behind a fiance and four children.

"She's going to have a tough time with this," Ferris said. "He was a good person."

NakedSnake · (Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:22 pm)

i admittely laughed
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Richard Cristopolis · (Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:30 pm)

Man that sucks for Coheed. I mean Todd's crazy, he left the band once for heroin, then came back and promised to get clean. Welp, he's gone.

Bye bye, beautiful. Don't bother to write.

That was a Coheed lyric.

Richard Cristopolis · (Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:31 pm)

Sure I'll show my asshole

Richard Cristopolis · (Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:22 pm)

On the topic of assholes, and bass players

"A former member of the rock band Queens of the Stone Age got into an intense standoff with a S.W.A.T. team at his L.A. home last night ... where cops found a high-powered LOADED rifle.

TMZ has learned ... cops were called to the home of 39-year-old Nick Oliveri after a neighbor called 911 to report a "disturbance" between the rocker and his girlfriend.

Sources close to the couple tell us ... Nick's GF told police the rocker struck her during an argument the day before ... and she had come back tothe home to collect her stuff so she could move out. That's when the two got into another heated argument ... and Nick locked themselves inside the duplex.

When cops arrived, Oliveri -- who played bass with the Queens for years before parting ways with the group -- refused to allow cops inside the residence ... and would not let his girlfriend leave.

A S.W.A.T. team was called to the scene -- and a standoff ensued. After two hours, Nick finally agreed to let his GF exit the duplex ... and two hours after that, he gave himself up without further incident.

When cops searched the home, we're told they found one high powered rifle -- which was FULLY LOADED.

Oliveri was booked on felony domestic violence. He has since been released after posting $100,000 bail.'