Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Servbot · (Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:49 pm)

What did Seru do that ended in an arrest?

Jason · (Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:09 pm)

It just happens randomly when he's working.
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My Head Hurts 90 · (Mon Jan 31, 2011 4:43 am)

I really shouldn't read this at work. I was practically crying once I saw the picture of charred Andre.

Servbot · (Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:55 pm)

Stop holding out on us, Jason. We demand more episodes.

Jason · (Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:56 pm)

The house has smallpox !!
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Servbot · (Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:05 pm)

I blame Psaturn.

Jason · (Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:45 pm)

Day Fifteen
Calvin Servbot: Heartbreaker

Current Funds
$223

The day started like any other.

Calvin had only one wish this morning. He wanted to kiss Kate the maid. I got him ready for the occasion but chose not to call her. It would be right, I decided, if it happened during her work hours. And in her maid uniform.

Before Kate arrived, Calvin practiced conversation with the repair lady. His flirting did not get our TV fixed, or unflood the upstairs bathroom. Just before this, by the way, Calvin walked in on Matt using the toilet, but that's not even worth chronicling at this point.

It was time. Avoiding a group conversation with Andre, Calvin led Kate into Matt's room, where he whispered in her ear, confessed his attraction and gave her a massage.

They embraced. Or they committed a crime, depending on which area of the United States The Sims 3's Sunset Valley is a part of.

Somewhere, Psaturn became a racist.

Calvin had another wish: to ask Kate to become his girlfriend. He did so, contrary to his nature as a Heartbreaker. And she accepted. He then immediately had a third wish. To meet someone new. This is going to be, I predict, a long and prosperous relationship.

They stood flirting for a bit longer, then went downstairs where Calvin watched television. Kate, perhaps seeking to punish his inattention, gave Andre a pick up line. Andre balked, Calvin rose from his seat and his friendship with Andre was instantly severed. He scolded Kate, who walked away, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room, humiliated, contemplating devotion.

He wanted to meet someone new, so I sent Calvin to the furthest beach in Sunset Valley. There was no one there, though, and soon the ennui bore down on the both of us as ferociously as a blitzkrieg.

On his own, Calvin phoned a female acquaintance, Lilian. He spoke to her about his issues with fidelity and commitment.

I had him invite Lilian to the beach. He worked his way towards flirting with her, discovering that she was single (I kid myself to believe that this would matter to Calvin) and also that he knew her because she was the firefighter that came to our rescue the other day. Perhaps Calvin was attracted to her because she wouldn't even put out for Andre if he was on fire.

Calvin flirted with her continuously as they both grew tired and Lilian responded in a repeating pattern of receptive, receptive, inexplicably put off. Apologize. Friendly chatter. Flirt again. The night was getting older, so I had Calvin try a gambit. He went to leap into her arms, as he had into Kate's this morning during their romantic moments. As Kate had caught him, however, Lilian did not.

When he returned home, Kate was outside, talking to Andre. Concluding their complete and total reversal of fortunes, Calvin didn't even make it to his bed.
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Servbot · (Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:39 pm)

Story of my life...

Ryoko's Biatch · (Thu Feb 03, 2011 1:12 am)

Man, I hope I took Calvin's bed.

Jason · (Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:10 pm)

Day Sixteen
Mike Payne: Hero Worship

Current Funds
$1,002

After the engaging human drama that was Calvin's day, I was afraid of another uneventful Mike day dragging the momentum down. Luckily, however, as soon as Mike had laid his head down to sleep, Matt started another fire.

So, once again, we all gathered around the kitchen, clipping into one another, waiting for Clint to save us. Defying our expectations, it seemed that Clint had now evolved past being our savior and into a Deadpool-like fourth wall breaking super-character, as he stood around looking unimpressed directly into the camera, leaving Kate of all people to be the one to pull out a fire extinguisher.

Kate put out (I suspect this will be the first of many sentences I begin with those words) the fire with no casualties other than our thirteen hundred dollar stove. People went to work (save Calvin, who slept through it), Mike went back to sleep, Kate hung around to continue merrily dancing between the company of men, and the maid agency sent the usual male replacement who comes when Kate is busy (with us). Unfortunately, in replacing the stove, I left us with less money than it takes to pay him. So he took our couch.

When people came home from work, I bought a new, fashionable couch. It failed to distract Mike from Kate's philandering.

Mike was stir crazy and, I assumed, eager to exit that last scene, so I brought him to a pond. It was only when he got there and immediately tried to call Kate did I begin to think that I had misinterpreted his response to her earlier...

Uninterested in the pond, Mike wanted to go home and play Gnubb. As his opponent, I selected the new object of his affections.

The game ended, and Mike worked on his novel a bit. Then he anticlimactically played tag with Matt before he went to sleep.
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Servbot · (Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:33 pm)

Mike days are definitely filler.

Jason · (Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:35 pm)

I feel so bad right now. It would have been better if Mike had died in the fire.
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Jason · (Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:47 pm)

Day Seventeen
Andre Robinson: A Game Of Chess

Current Funds
$465

Andre's wishes focused mostly on earning a promotion at work, which involved improving his logic skill. As it happened, there was a local chess tournament being held. After a quick, desperate, couch nap, Andre went to the tournament, found no one there, left, was disqualified, raced back and was unable to reenter. He was hungry, though, so he picked an apple from a tree in protest.

He read a book on logic, sitting across from an Asian chess prodigy.

And did more of this.

Why did I start this thread back up?

Responding to his wishes, I bought Andre a nice chess table and grabbed Psaturn for a game. They sat for a moment, considering playing, then Andre stood and was tired. Inside, Mike dreamed of garbage. That's kind of funny, right?

I had had it, and in a great fury I sold some items, including our television, and finally made a new room for Andre and gave him his own shitty bed. "There," I though, "I hope you die in it." It was only then that I realized that in my attempt to be defiant, I'd given Andre precisely what he'd wanted for the last two weeks. He'd... manipulated me for his own gain...

Perhaps... Andre had won... the ultimate chess match...
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Theldorrin · (Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:55 pm)

Outwitted by a simulation...
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Jason · (Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:04 am)

Day Eighteen
P. Saturn: The Big Mistake

Current Funds
$237

Things are a little tense around the house. Psaturn woke in the afternoon and forlornly made himself a sandwich as Kate ignored him, dripping with sweat from the sexual tension (or maybe the washing machine broke while she was using it [it was probably that]).

Psaturn and Clint ate together. Theldorrin, who had happened to have something explode on him while at work, stood and stared while thinking of nothing but Clint. Clearly there was something going on here, too.

A wish to own a guitar seemingly came out of nowhere, so I bought one and had Psaturn play a little jam session. Although he was still just learning, people seemed to enjoy it (Clint was thinking about garbage for an unrelated reason).

Since waking, Psaturn had wanted to talk to a woman named Vita, whom I guess he'd met at a party? She was probably someone else's boss or coworker. He'd tried her earlier but she politely refused his invitation to come over. Now, after working a bit on his new painting, Psaturn was getting stir crazy, so I had him call Vita and invite her to the park. Her response was: "I can't imagine wanting to go anywhere with you right now." Psaturn was troubled.

Refusing to be deterred, I sent Psaturn out alone, to the least intimidating bar that had come with the Late Night expansion: Waylon's Haunt. A simple, one story tavern with music, Foosball and a drink called the Big Mistake, which Psaturn ordered.

Two drinks later and, according to his moodlets, Psaturn was having a wild time, so I sent him over to the idle guitar to help him express himself. It seemed cathartic.

There was a woman sitting alone at the bar, so I invited her over to fulfill Psaturn's wish to jam with someone. She took to it well, so Psaturn then wished to ask her to form a band.

Unfortunately, just as Psaturn dropped the guitar, the bar shut its lights out without so much as a last call and everyone, including his jam partner, scurried away. So Psaturn went home and asked Matt to form a band with him instead. Their default was The ToneDeafs. Matt celebrated the occasion by sneaking up behind Psaturn and frightening him.
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