Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[ALDP]

Here's the deal:

I've got a normal-sized dick but when I'm shitting, I don't know if it's because of blood flow to the area or shit getting smeared all over my prostate or what, but my dick is on the larger side of flaccid.

One thing that can go wrong while shitting is shit getting on the back part of the toilet seat. It's such a horrible thought, but I used the bathroom on the other floor of my residence and there was a little smudge of shit on the rim of the toilet seat. I can't even think about somebody seeing their own shit on a toilet seat and walking away from it without doing anything, so I won't even talk about that.

The point I'm trying to make is that when I sit the way that seems normal to me, my dick can touch part of the bowl. When that happens I get a little bit of what I imagine a person feels when they get a call saying their whole family has been murdered. "This is too bad to be happening, let alone to me." I get the feeling like I'm not gonna wake up from this, it's real. Just talking about this I have to rub my crotch and reassure myself nothing is rotting off.

Basically I'm more scared of getting shit all over the back of the seat than I am about my dick touching where piss and shit could be. I mean shit normally wouldn't be that high but I don't know how high the water gets when I flush, I don't even know precisely where my dick touched. No, that's not what the problem is, because if I left a tiny shit smudge I would be mad and I would clean it up but I would be able to leave the situation, whereas now I just keep thinking about my dick touching the toilet bowl. The problem is that I have no idea how far back I can go, and if I went back so far that my shit was like split on the edge of the seat and squished out underneath my butt, well, there's no telling what I would do after that.
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[ALDP]

Here's my idea for a toilet. Two words: two flushers.

One of them is for urine or really docile dry shit where you wipe with like 3 sheets and don't even see any shit on it. I don't know what toilet capacities are like these days but I figure this one could be a little big lower than average.

When you use the other flusher it uses the whole tank (the other one only used part of the tank). This one is for nasty shits and it is let's say 150% of a normal current toilet's capacity.

In Europe toilets are really strong. The ones I had in either of the apartments I lived in could clear a Sunday newspaper.

My idea for a toilet is also long enough and the sides steep enough that nobody's dick will ever touch the porcelain, because it's fucking atrocious that toilet makers will cut corners and try to save money making their products by designing them in a way that is humiliating and probably dangerous for consumers.
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[Servbot]

I tuck my penis in while sitting which prevents any unwanted contact with the toilet.

[johnbuisthegreat]

I took a shit in a portopotty in Iraq and once had blue water splash up and hit my balls. I was mortified and was constantly afraid of that afterwards. Also I constantly have to tuck my penis when I shit because I dont want to be rubbing my cock where god knows what has been.

[bitter gigatron]

I just tuck my enormous penis into the bowl and hope for the best. I'm more concern with my ass cheeks getting infected moreso than my dick.

[Action Hank]

There are already some toilets that do that, ALDP. Usually two buttons on the top, one that fills the tank only half-way, and one that fills it normal.

[Clotho]

I can just imagine Matt sitting on the can sweating bullets as he takes a shit while he's just waiting, worrying, imagining his dick touching some infinitesimally small speck of the tainted porcelain, and as he finishes, he gets up and turns around to cautiously observe the bowl to check if he left any shit on the lid rim. He pulls up his zipper in relief as he unknowingly cuts through a big wad of black shit stuck on the tip of his dick and screams.

[Action Hank]

-_-;;;;

[Fagzilla]

I like to stick my cock into actual piles of shit.

[Fagzilla]

Also, there's a little game that I play. If I've discovered that a smear of shit remains on the inside of the toilet bowl after flushing, the game is on! The task is to "piss it off" of the bowl over my next few hours worth of pisses and flushes. Just aim my stream at it and try to knock it off of there.

If it's not gone within 24 hours, well, I've lost, and it's time to get the brush, but it's certainly an exciting victory if I manage to get rid of it!

[Fagzilla]

I can never run for President.

[Action Hank]

Chris. Why do you live?

[ALDP]

Italian toilets clear really well but the back part of the bowl is kind of shaped retardedly so your shit A) isn't necessarily in water and consequently B) Is frequently smeared all over the place.

I would basically just pee my shit away most of the time and I always felt really guilty when I had company and I remembered there was shit all over the place.
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[johnbuisthegreat]

I remember when I was in Germany the toilet was very tall. I was living in a hotel at the time.

[Fagzilla]

No it wasn't, no you weren't.

[Big Fagot]

*eyes dart faggishly back and forth as the submit key is pressed.*

[Jazz Jackrabbit]

[Potatoes]

When I was younger/lived alone I liked to shit then not flush and come back later in the day and try to destroy the turd with a mighty stream of piss. I also literally never cleaned the toilet or bathroom. My reasoning was 'uhhh it's a toilet, it's supposed to be dirty'

[YES]

You nasty chink

[Fagzilla]