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FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman

 
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Jason
At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk, I thought the older women would like me if I did.
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 7600
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:34 am)
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Post     FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
VS.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total
Servbot
Overrated faggot
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 9020
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:38 am)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman
Seru
Custom titles are for heroes, like me.
Joined: 08 Jan 2007
Posts: 11012
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:02 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Link.
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:16 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Link knocks on the door to the expensive, immense downtown Manhattan condo. A well-dressed Wall Street businessman opens the door.

Bateman: Come in!

Link: Thank you sir!

Bateman: May I make you a drink? You know, the modern Cosmopolitan dates back to 1908 at the world famous Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. Wash out your vagina.

Link: What?!

Bateman: It was said that all the rich women there from around the world from all walks of life had similar taste in cocktails. Ergo, a "Cosmopolitan" cocktail was created to satiate them all. You heard me, wash out your vagina.

Link: Uh, I'm a dude.

Bateman: Really?

Link: Yes.

Bateman squints his eyes and looks closer.

Bateman: Hm. Anyways, the drink found renewed fame on the popular sitcom Mork and Mindy when Robin Williams' character would gain the knowledge of the universe by ingesting one.

Link: My compass indicated that the Boss Key is present in this room.

Bateman: Wellll, I think I keep a spare copy of a key to my boss' apartment in that closet.

Link opens the closet, only to be horrified when Bateman's boss falls out...one piece at a time!

Link: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Unsheathing his Master Sword, Link is not able to react in time as a chainsaw bifurcates him vertically. After both halves fall to the floor, Bateman reaches inside the corpse and pulls out his heart.

DUN DUN DUN DAAAAA! Patrick Bateman's health bar has been extended.
RPtotheMax
Joined: 24 Dec 2008
Posts: 217
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:24 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Link
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9255
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:08 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman
Potatoes
Joined: 06 Jan 2007
Posts: 3037
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:16 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman
Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:17 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Bateman based entirely on Spamdini's story.
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MADali
Basically, someone like me is the friend who is watching from afar and shaking one's head.
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 6740
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:26 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Spamdini is really able to pump me up for whomever he chooses. Patrick Bateman
Mike Dunn
Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 3549
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:57 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman
Captain PUNisher
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1103
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:01 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Bateman, for the same reason as Vinny.
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Said the Captain PUNisher.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:05 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Hmm, both characters are ironic takes on emasculation in the 1980s. But Bateman because Link never has sex with Zelda and then chases after her with a chainsaw.
Jason
At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk, I thought the older women would like me if I did.
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 7600
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:09 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
Shut up.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total
YES
Ask me about nation, culture, religion, gender, sexuality, and identity in general being anachronisms from a more vulgar and primitive past.
Joined: 05 Sep 2007
Posts: 6090
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:38 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
im pretty sure they had sex at they end of Zelda2

so Link
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:43 pm)
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Post     Re: FTU World RII: Link vs. Patrick Bateman
bateman
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