Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Jason · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:22 am)

120. RONNIE JAMES DIO

Strengths: duh im a metal singer
Weaknesses: Whatever, next entrant.

273. TIMUR

Strengths: The conqueror of Asia.
Weaknesses: Have YOU ever heard of him?

272. AARON BURR

Strengths: The man without a country.
Weaknesses: Because he fucking shot the leader of his original one up to Hell.

315. MIKE TYSON

Strengths: Lennox is a conqueror? No. I'm Alexander, he's no Alexander. I'm the best ever. There's never been anybody as ruthless. I'm Sonny Liston. I'm Jack Dempsey, there's no one like me - I'm from their cloth. There's no one that can match me. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!
Weaknesses: My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.

147. NIGGER INNIS

Strengths: To be clear, you are voting for the typo, not the man.
Weaknesses: And that's round one, everybody!
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Servbot · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:43 am)

I wonder what Nigger Innis' real name is.

Jason · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:45 am)

Nigger Nigger
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MADali · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:03 am)

Timur is actually very powerful. He fought with two swords while everyone else was fighting with one. And some other stuff that my friend told me about but I don't really remember, because I was not really paying attention.

The call him Timur the Lang, which translates as Timur the Lame, because of a bad leg, which does not sound that impressive when translated in English.

MADali · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:06 am)

This is from his memoirs,

In a short space of time all the people in the Delhi fort were put to the sword, and in the course of one hour the heads of 10,000 infidels were cut off. The sword of Islam was washed in the blood of the infidels, and all the goods and effects, the treasure and the grain which for many a long year had been stored in the fort became the spoil of my soldiers. They set fire to the houses and reduced them to ashes, and they razed the buildings and the fort to the ground....All these infidel Hindus were slain, their women and children, and their property and goods became the spoil of the victors. I proclaimed throughout the camp that every man who had infidel prisoners should put them to death, and whoever neglected to do so should himself be executed and his property given to the informer. When this order became known to the ghazis of Islam, they drew their swords and put their prisoners to death.

One hundred thousand infidels, impious idolaters, were on that day slain. Maulana Nasiruddin Umar, a counselor and man of learning, who, in all his life, had never killed a sparrow, now, in execution of my order, slew with his sword fifteen idolatrous Hindus, who were his captives....on the great day of battle these 100,000 prisoners could not be left with the baggage, and that it would be entirely opposed to the rules of war to set these idolaters and enemies of Islam at liberty... no other course remained but that of making them all food for the sword.

MADali · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:06 am)

Sources claim that when Timur conquered Persia, Iraq and Syria, he decimated the civilian population, raped their women and children, looted properties and converted people to Islam by force. In the city of Isfahan, he ordered several pyramids to be built each made up of 40.000 human skulls from those that his army had beheaded,[22] and a pyramid of some 20,000 skulls was erected outside Aleppo. Timur herded thousands of citizens from Damascus into the Cathedral Mosque before setting it aflame,and had 70,000 people beheaded in Tikrit, and 90,000 more in Baghdad.[23] As many as 17 million people may have died during his conquests.[24]

MADali · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:09 am)

Unlike Genghis Khan, however, Timur conquered not to open trade routes and protect his flanks, but to loot and pillage. The Timurid Empire did not long survive its founder, because he rarely bothered to put any governmental structure in place after he destroyed the existing order.

MADali · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:13 am)

So yeah, Timur can destroy everyone in this round and is like a billion times stronger than Ace Kendo's gay Chinese and LOTR nominations.

Mike Dunn · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:22 am)

If Mike Tyson had been alive in Timur's time he probably would have been even more brutal and awesome.

Action Hank · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:48 am)

Timur is the reason why vast areas of the middle east, once rich and fertile, are desert.

Aaron Burr attempted to create his own empire in the US frontier, for which he was tried to treason. He's also one of the stars of Drunk History, the greatest web series about drunk historians.

Mike Tyson lost to Buster Douglas.

Servbot · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:59 am)

I didn't know Drunk History was a reoccurring thing. I always thought it was a one-shot. The one with Michael Cera is funny.

Action Hank · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:01 pm)

There were at least three of them. The Ben Franklin one is also very funny.

Mike Dunn · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:12 pm)

Actually the middle east is desert now because early settlers there used primitive farming and irrigation techniques which depleted the land of its fertility.

Rice · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:03 pm)

It's shitty Ace nominated a bunch of Chinese heroes at once because all of them are incredibly awesome in their own right but that's impossible to know when all you see is CHINGA DING DONG and a Dynasty Warriors render.

Action Hank · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:14 pm)

I nominated 4 characters from ROTTK: Guan Yu, Zheng Fei, Zilong, and Zhuge Liang.

I nominated the characters from the Silmarillion to be an annoying asshole.

Jason · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:42 pm)

Ace pretending like he gets it is worse than Ace not getting it.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

MADali · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:44 pm)

All forms of Ace Kendo is shit and it is very hard to to know which is worse than which.

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:22 pm)

Timur sounds like a better vote than Mike Tyson. I mean, Mike Tyson has great quotes and all, but everybody already knows this. Timur is like this hidden vault of inhumanity.

I still voted for Nigger Innis, though. Doesn't anybody remember when Utils prank called 8 bit orgy?

Rice · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:47 pm)

Attempted...attempted...I said it like a million times!

YES · (Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:37 pm)

I voted Timur

It should be a contest between Timur and Burr, but whatever all you guys (especialliy JAson) thirst for black cock

Anyway, I nominated Timur because he wasted MADali's homeland