Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[YES]

Now that the visa situation is relaxed, getting to China is now easier.

Too bad I'm D/ebt crippled, but I wonder if there are discount or courier flights. courier.org sucks don't reccomend it.

go to http://www.visarite.com/ for China visa services (I have tried and confirmed its legitimacy)

I guess we could organize a discount freight

Post ads on thebeijinger.com so you can have employment in case you run out of money

Those of you who have college diplomas can get a free flight and job to SK

[Rice]

There was this one girl that Ville called MY ONE TRUE LOVE. She was like one of the first girls in China that actually liked my long hair, and the first time I met her I was feeling kind of down, and she woke me up by smothering me with kisses(which, by the way is awesome FUCK YOU MADALI) and cuddling with me. I think I ended up going with her before I even woke up completely. She was super into it and loved kissing and blew me for free(it was supposed to cost more), so I went to her a lot, so much to the point where the staff at the front desk would just cock an eyebrow and smile while I came in and the guy who changed the shoes would go "Come again, have you?" and we actually got pretty close! She would come lay with me in the communal sleeping area and bring me fruits and candy and stuff. One time she even clipped my toenails for me. Man.

[Rice]

One time we were walking to this other village, and in the middle of all these cornfields this old guy in like, a white lab coat holding an axe was coming down the road towards us. He stopped as we were passing by then suddenly asked where we were from. Before we could reply he just went "U...S...A?!" then started writing that in the dirt. Then he asked if we were from the YE HE Academy(we were), and proceeded to scream about how the stuff they taught was all fake and for show. Then he hung his axe on this nearby sign then went "I'LL SHOW YOU REAL SHAOLIN KUNG FU!" and started doing a form. Then he went "I'm 60 years old and I'll take any of you on! Come on, who wants to fight me ?!" I think he was drunk off his ass. None of us fought him though, because if he was just some crazy fuck we would look like assholes for beating an old man up, and if he was a legitimate kung fu master, well. Eventually he just stumbled off, but not before Jarrod returned his axe to him.

[Big Fagot]

Being defeated would have improved you!

[Rice]

Me and my roommate went to Changchun one weekend, and as we were coming back we saw this hideous toothless guy beating his son with a beer can. The poor kid was like 12-14, and was just kind of awkwardly standing there as the shmuck was hitting him. At one point he tried to hip throw him, but was too weak to lift him so the son just kind of looked at him. The guy resumed storming around and buying more beer to drink then throw at his son. We joked about how we should totally sit with him on the train and he ended up being in our compartment anyway. We were drinking these bottles of wine on the train, and he came up next to us and started screaming about how it wasn't fair that we had alchohol and he didn't. Also, he didn't understand a single word I said and told his son to translate, but I guess his son was as retarded as he was because he didn't understand anything either.

[Rice]

Not if it killed me.

[Potatoes]

Whatever happened with that Korean girl HAN HEE?

[Rice]

The alchohol policy in China ruled. By that I mean the lack thereof. You could drink anywhere and at any time. We would buy these huge bottles of weak, ultra shitty wine(my friend cracked his wrist because he tried to drink it with one hand) then go to the arcade, and challenge kids at videogames, because they had a cabinet that said NBA Jam but played Tekken Tag. Every time we won we would pull the giant wine bottles out of our back packs and drink. Also, everyone smoked. I saw like a 12 year old buying a pack of cigarettes.

[Rice]

She left! She and the rest of the Koreans left at the same time, and they were among some of the people I missed the most. They left during the fall, too, so it was like getting colder and all of a sudden they were GONE and all that was left was fucking hideous weather.

[Servbot]

All these stories are to be cherished by me for a very long time.

[Rice]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPatg0lZ8iA

That's a video mashup of a bunch of shit on my roommate(he was from Georgia!)'s camera. Most of it is just him backpacking around China, but at 2:35 there's a thing of me fucking up like a million times before breaking a brick and at about 3:13 there's Han Hee doing an aerial if you want to see her.

[Rice]

Me too, Cal...

[Action Hank]

Did you learn how to break bricks with your dick?

[Vinny]

_________________

[L Ron Butterfly]

Not fighting the old man was the biggest mistake of your life.

[Rice]

If you saw what Hu Sifu(the insane Tai Chi master I met in the park) could do, you would be wary of the possibility of random old guys in China collapsing your windpipe as well.

[L Ron Butterfly]

Still, what course of action would have made your life more like a video game?

[Rice]

True, although I would equate that with not fighting the giant fucking boss you're supposed to avoid.

I did feel like I was living in an RPG though. Whenever I'd look for something I would have to talk to TOWNSFOLK and for some reason no one ever says "I don't know" in China. They always give you an answer, even if they don't know, and a lot of the times I would be sent in some direction and find out the place they told me to go to doesn't even fucking exist.

[Rice]

Oh yeah. There was this one weekend where I got roped into going to this religious festival with a few other students. We went with a bunch of Daoist priests from the nearby temple, and it turned out that they would pay for all of our expenses and provide food and a place to stay, on the hidden condition that we pretend to be Daoist priests and participate in their ceremony. Seriously, if one ever has a need for anything in life, just become a Daoist priest because they live rock star lifestyles. When we got to the temple we started noticing that under their HUMBLE PRIEST CASSOCKS they were wearing like Rolex watches and flashing their huge, fancy cell phones. They took us to this nice restaurant and were like "Pick whatever you want! We don't eat meat or drink though, but you can order it if you like." So I proceeded to name like every Chinese dish I knew at the time and ordered a bunch of beer. And then when the food and beer came they ate and drank with us anyway.

The best part was that night, sitting in the individual hotel rooms they got us, I got a (very normal) phone call asking if I wanted a massage. I said SURE, thinking to just charge it to the Daoists' tab. I spent like a good 15 minutes or so flexing in front of the mirror because the lighting was good and when she finally came up she asked me what kind of massage I wanted. I asked her what kinds there were, a normal one and then she said something I didn't understand, so I asked her what that was. Then she just said "That's where you take off your clothes and I take off my clothes and we get in this bed together." Haha. Well as it turns out I didn't bring my wallet because I was still wearing my fuckin' training clothes when we left because they were in such a rush. The girl was only taking CASH UP FRONT, so I was just like "Oh. Uhhh, sorry." and she left. But the next morning when we were getting ready for the ceremony one of the priests came out of his room and a girl came out from behind him.

Also, the base of the Daoist temple(it was like this insanely high artificial mountain) was like something out of Berserk. There were just swarms of maimed, deformed, and generally fucked up people all laying around the outside moaning and asking for money while slowly crawling around.

[Magic Juan]

Oh, don't you mean outside of Morgan's vagina?