Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Jason · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:54 am)

81. CAPTAIN AMERICA

Strengths: America, personified.
Weaknesses: If that were really true he'd be like eight hundred pounds. Yeah, I said it.

115. ISAAC NEWTON

Strengths: Discovered gravity.
Weaknesses: Big fucking deal! It's gravity, genius! Yeah, you're real fucking smart for figuring out that shit falls.

306. LEE BYUNG-HUN

Strengths: A famous South Korean movie star.
Weaknesses: That doesn't necessarily mean he was in any kick ass action movies.

55. GOB

Strengths: [Gob performs a magic trick involving a small explosion and ending with a dove spontaneously appearing]
Weaknesses: Is that enough of a reference for you?

12. ASHNARD

Strengths: Believes that one's lot in life should be decided bases purely on their power blah blah blah blah.
Weaknesses: Whoever nominated him is a real Ashnerd.

Clint.
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Jason · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:56 am)

By the way, Ace, the B is GOB stands for Bluth.

His name isn't Gob Bluth.

Idiot.
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Seru · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:48 am)

That's Greil, not Ashnard.

Seru · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:49 am)

Seru · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:15 am)

Fun Mad King Ashnard facts!

Murdered almost every member of his family and several hundred of his countrymen by tricking his father into signing and breaking a blood pact (Which causes a plague when broken.), then killed his father himself to break said pact. Became king simply because everybody else in line for the throne was dead.

Married and FUCKED a god damned dragon in the hopes that his offspring would possess some sort of special power. When he found out the kid was useless he tossed him into the forest to die and grabbed the weakest looking orphan off the streets to play the role of his son (Couldn't come out and say he murdered his actual son because he was DRAGON ROYALTY.). Then he lured his brother-in-law to his country by threatening to kill his sister and fake nephew. Captured that flying dick and used him as a personal mount for several years. (Pictured above.)

Nearly beat an entire empire alone based on his huge super-strongness.

His entire society is based on giving preferential treatment to huge, super strong people. Constantly warmongering to awaken a dark god that will murder everybody too weak to fight against her and thus create a perfect society.

Touched Lehran's Medallion (Which magnifies the worst aspects of a person a thousandfold and drives them insane.) and kept his sanity. He's like the Joker, already so insane that outside forces have no effect!

Is huge and super strong. Also, spiked shoulder pads!

*pushes up nerd glasses*

Derek Payne · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:20 am)

He also got his shit pushed in by Ike.

Seru · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:22 am)

Ike had to puss out and use a special GODDESS sword.

Derek Payne · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:24 am)

Ike also defeated the faggot Black Knight who was more powerful.

Seru · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:25 am)

Isaac Newton was also able to predict the future and control fate before he was defeated by the power of love.

bitter gigatron · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:48 am)

The expression on SIR Isaac Newton's face seems like he yearns to be in a tournament where he is not sandwiched between a fat Korean action hero and Lee Byung-hun.

bitter gigatron · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:55 am)

It always amazed me that Newton had a practical understanding of the universe yet remained highly religious. It doesn't seem like the two would go hand in hand.

He also said the world will end in 2060.

RPtotheMax · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 am)

Nobody's perfect.

Edit: Especially when dealing with the past it is very difficult to determine the manner of 'god' in which people believe. It was a crime for much of history to profess atheistic beliefs. Many such as Einstein, Carl Sagan, and Jefferson (supposedly) used 'god' in an overarching Spinoza-esque manner. In such 'god' was nature and the universe, but not a single omnipotent or omniscient being.

Mike Dunn · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:19 am)

Gob is referred to as "Gob Bluth", often with his name mispronounced, throughout the series.

Jason · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:30 am)

No kidding.
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Captain PUNisher · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:59 pm)

Did the son eventually turn out to actually have special powers and come out of the woods for revenge or anything?
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Said the Captain PUNisher.

Yogurtman · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:52 pm)

The fact that Isaac Newton is also an anime villain is incalculably good.

cloacal kiss · (Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:06 pm)

Isaac Newton should win.

Big Fagot · (Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:04 am)

I have to reopen this to make two comments.

1) GOB's name is a parody of Jeb Bush.

2) Isaac Newton's accomplishments have been grievously understated.

Yogurtman · (Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:13 pm)

Peter, you're an admin, you don't have to unlock threads to reply to them.

Jason · (Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:16 pm)

STOP IT!
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total