Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Jason · (Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:09 pm)

173. TOMMY OLIVER

Strengths: The best one of all the Power Rangers.
Weaknesses: The Ninja Turtles are way better than the Power Rangers.

6. ANDREW JACKSON

Strengths: Led the Native Americans on the Trail of Tears.
Weaknesses: Went crazy because he was so afraid of a federal bank.

305. GODZILLA

Strengths: Giant monster that destroys everything.
Weaknesses: Inferiority of American counterpart breeds a subset of otaku snobs who only acknowledge the Japanese version; also, becomes good and a friend of children everywhere.

163. RAMBO

Strengths: One man army that kills a whole bunch of people, I guess.
Weaknesses: Is really an eighty year old Sylvester Stallone making the facial equivalent of Kamehame-dump.

285. PATRICK SWAYZE

Strengths: Can dance... dirtily!
Weaknesses: Probably nominated in irony by some fag named Jonathan O'Neal.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Yogurtman · (Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:13 pm)

Stonewall Jackson is not the same person as Andrew Jackson.

Andrew Jackson is probably the only U.S. President to publicly state, upon leaving office, that his only two regrets were not having shot the Speaker of the House and not having hung his own Vice-President.

Big Fagot · (Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:22 pm)

You could do a relatively quick exhaustive verification of that.

Ryoko's Biatch · (Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:24 pm)

I can't pick between Andrew Jackson and John Rambo.

Captain PUNisher · (Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:27 pm)

Tommy Oliver plays a tune on his flute-knife to call his dragon friend. The dragon friend walks out of the water at the same time that Godzilla is surfacing, and the two begin to grapple.

Then Patrick Swayze fucking stabs Tommy.
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Said the Captain PUNisher.

Big Fagot · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:04 am)

"C'mon you piece a scuzz," screams Rambo, shooting a huge machine gun at Godzilla.

"Use this," says Andrew Jackson, handing him a greasy red lump from a bag.

"A heart?"

"Indian hearts!" says Jackson, hurling another at Godzilla. It splatters on his scaly hide. "They will impart unto him the great sadness contained inside!"

"Auuhh, I don't know about dis," says Rambo. He hurls the heart and hits Godzilla in the eye, making him appear to cry.

"My God!" exclaims Jackson. "You see, it worked!" As Godzilla stumbles, the Green Dragon Zord appears behind him. It fires some dumb rockets out of its fingers and blows him up. As Jackson celebrates, a large chunk of Godzilla falls on him and does to him what he did to an entire race of people.

Inside the Dragon Zord, Tommy looks around for Rambo. Rambo appears behind him inside the cockpit and slashes his throat. Patrick Swayze then shows up and dies of pancreas cancer.

"Easy as breathin'," says John Rambo GRUFFLY.

Username · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:36 am)

Andrew Jackson kills the ancestors of the three other human combatants, ensuring their nonexistence. Godzilla sleeps through the ensuing non-battle. Andrew Jackson wins.

MADali · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:05 am)

Rambo needs more votes.

Vinny · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:43 am)

Apparently Jason has never seen Roadhouse.
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Servbot · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:49 am)

Patrick Swayze will be dead before the end of this week.

Vinny · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:14 pm)

He hit his pressure points so he can fight for three more days before exploding violently.
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Vinny · (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:15 pm)

He hit his pressure points so he can fight for three more days before exploding violently.
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Magic Juan · (Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:54 pm)

Rambo because the last Rambo has the best fucking 5 minutes of action I have ever seen.

Derek Payne · (Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:54 pm)

The guy who played Tommy Oliver invented his own martial art.