What men do... - www.ezboard.com

Triple Life > the uLtRa KeWl forum > What men do...
	<< Prev Topic \| Next Topic >>

Author	Comment
prosthetic forehead Presumably perfect. (9/17/01 4:12 pm)	What men do... I found this article when I was cruising around that gave me a list of what all men do. According to the article, No matter what they say, ALL men have done every single one of these things at least once. 1. FARTS: All men love the smell of their own farts. Every man has intentionally farted and smelled how good it was. 2. PENIS MEASURING: Every man on the planet has taken a ruler or measuring tape and gotten the length of his erect penis 3. PENIS TUCK: Every man has, at least once, tucked his penis between his legs so he could see what he would look like as a girl. 4. PENIS LOOK: All men have glanced over in a public restroom and checked out the guy's unti next to them. 5. YOUNG SEX: All men look at, and imagine having sex with, teenage girls. 6. SMELL TEST: After masturbating, every man you know has at least once smelled his own love juice. 7. PUKEY PUKE: At least once, drunk or sober, every man has tasted his own vomit. 8. SHOWER PODDY: Every man admits to peeing in the shower, but most will deny this. Every man, however, has at least once, defecated in the shower and then pushed the fecal matter through the shower grate and down the drain. Lovely. Okay, how many of you do these things?
Ace Kendo Pickles? How do I get a pickle? (9/17/01 5:13 pm)	Re: What men do... I have never shit in the shower. That is just nasty. And I never ate my own vomitt.... oh, and other stuff. The reason why the web still stands (excluding porn):
Triple Life H-N-I-C (9/17/01 5:38 pm)	Re: What men do... I have not done 1, 4, 6 or 8. And everyone, regardless of sex, has tasted their own vomit. If you've ever vomited, you've tasted it. Also, I don't think 5 is that bad as long as you don't act on it (assuming you are several years her senior). This one girl I know, one time she was walking her dog and a guy walked up to her and offered her $5 to suck his dick. Seriously.
ImmortalBubbles Pickle Gangster King (9/17/01 5:51 pm)	Re: What men do... I've never done 6 or 8, and I don't love the smell of my farts. I think at my age I'm allowed to imagine having sex with teenagers. And as Triple Life pointed out, it's hard not to taste your own vomit if you vomit.
My Head Hurts 90 Job - Pickle Sucker Somebody has to do it. (9/17/01 7:41 pm)	Re: What men do... #2 & #5 Edited by: My Head Hurts 90 at: 9/17/01 7:42:05 pm
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/17/01 9:25 pm)	Re: What men do... FARTS: All men love the smell of their own farts. No. Not me, I'm afraid. I don't like smelling my farts anymore than I like playing with my own shit. PENIS MEASURING Well, duh. Who the fuck WOULDN'T measure their penis? PENIS TUCK: Every man has, at least once, tucked his penis between his legs so he could see what he would look like as a girl. Yes. Ha, "at least once." Yeah. Also this is good for peeing while sitting down. PENIS LOOK No. No, no no. I'll look at cocks in porn, but not in public places. YOUNG SEX: All men look at, and imagine having sex with, teenage girls. Uh... duh again. I don't think I look at, or imagine having sex with, anything BUT teenage girls. OR PERHAPS THE ESPECIALLY CUTE TEENAGE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!! SMELL TEST Smells like bleach. If it sits for a day or so, it smells like rotting fish. I learned long ago to GET IT ALL OFF immediately after masturbating. Otherwise that crotch is going to stink. PUKEY PUKE: At least once, drunk or sober, every man has tasted his own vomit. I don't really understand this one. Tasted it inadverdently or intentionally? Certainly not intentionally. Who the FUCK would want to taste puke? SHOWER PODDY: Every man admits to peeing in the shower, Every shower I take, baby. In fact, if I need to pee, I'll go to great lengths to WAIT until I get in the shower. JUST SO I CAN PEE ALL OVER MY HANDS AND ARMS. Why not? It washes right off. Every man, however, has at least once, defecated in the shower and then pushed the fecal matter through the shower grate and down the drain. Never EVER. That's just stupid and gross.
Brandylion Can I be a pickle gangster? (9/17/01 10:32 pm)	Re: What men do... Haha, the secret lives of men! I'll bet a good number have tasted their own semen too. Last year, a 30 year old man offered me the use of one of his Jaguars if I would go out with him. Absolute zero is cool.
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/17/01 11:16 pm)	Re: What men do... Oh yeah, I've eaten my spunk a couple of times. Mostly out of laziness. If you want to clean it off and there's nothing around to wipe on, you just kinda gobble it. Also, I'll let you eat my semen if you go out with me. YOU'D BE A FOOL TO SAY NO!
Triple Life H-N-I-C (9/17/01 11:18 pm)	Re: What men do... I will never taste semen, my own or otherwise.
MANTI5 Xtra Large Pickle (9/17/01 11:31 pm)	Re: What men do... That's too sick. Damn, Chris. DAMN.
Brandylion Can I be a pickle gangster? (9/18/01 12:03 am)	Re: What men do... I agree w/ Manty on that first part. Regarding the second, I think I would go out with you even without that "bribe". Unless semen tasted like chocolate or fruity, I'm not sure if I would like to eat it. Absolute zero is cool.
My Head Hurts 90 Job - Pickle Sucker Somebody has to do it. (9/18/01 1:12 am)	Re: What men do... What if I invented chocolate covered orange-flavored semen? Edited by: My Head Hurts 90 at: 9/18/01 9:38:17 am
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/18/01 3:12 am)	Re: What men do... Aww, what a sweetie. I'll tell you what, I like you so much, I'll let you suck my penis, eat my semen AND have sex with me! NO STRINGS ATTACHED! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GO OUT WITH ME AT ALL! I know, I know. I'm just too generous.
MADali Pickled Iranese Cousin. (9/18/01 7:37 am)	Re: What men do... Does that offer apply to guys too?
madnes Official Pickle sizer (9/18/01 9:01 am)	Re: What men do... Men always get penis measuring wrong. For scientific/statistical purposes, the correct way to measure penile length is along the TOP side, from the pubis along. Not underneath from the balls, which can give up to an extra two inches. Cum's not that bad, Brandylion. But it shouldn't smell like fish after a couple of days; if it does, you probably have too much protein in your diet, in which case, your cum would taste gross.
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/18/01 2:42 pm)	Re: What men do... No Madali, this is a special opportunity, just for Brandylion.
Brandylion Can I be a pickle gangster? (9/18/01 7:16 pm)	Re: What men do... OMG, Chrissy-poo! U R just 2 nice! Thanx! Someone ought to invent a pill that will make cum taste like chocolate mousse! Then you guys will have women following you around, begging to give you a bj! Absolute zero is cool.
ImmortalBubbles Pickle Gangster King (9/18/01 7:31 pm)	Re: What men do... I have a conductor whose name is Dick Seamon (or something like that). He's kind of akward.
Brandylion Can I be a pickle gangster? (9/18/01 9:04 pm)	Re: What men do... Why don't people with names like that, get them legally changed? Or at least, go by their middle name or Richard. Absolute zero is cool.
Matthew Outland I've lost my pickle!!! (9/19/01 2:11 am)	Youa re wrong MAdnes Cum will make your crotch smell bad if you don't shower . In fact, I never showered on a regular basis until I masturbated, and that was to get rid of the cum smell I got in the morning because I was too lazy to change my undies after I jerked off at night. And I have never done 8, I thought I never had done 4, but then I remembered I had a several pee pee races before I once defecated in my clothes drawer before, and my mother cleaned it up. I was 7. I once defecated on the kitchen floor before too, I was 5. My mom had to clean that up too.
Utils Dr. Pickle (9/19/01 6:25 am)	She made this shit up. 1. I like to fart on other people. Especially wifey. She hits me with her windmill, it's all good. Sadly, I'm not farting so much lately, I have to stop eating properly. 2. Never have, never will. What's the point in that? 3. YES! My goal in life is to somehow turn into a lesbian. I was about 8 or 9. 4. Sure, i don't feel its gay. You never know when you'll spot a very beautiful penis. It's very rare. 5. When I was a teenager I imagined sex with a teenage girl. So, yeah. 6. That doesn't make any sense. 7. What TL said. 8. Ok, that's just retarted. And Ace, don't give us your list about all women being secret lesbians, you stupid.
MADali Pickled Iranese Cousin. (9/19/01 10:01 am)	Re: She made this shit up. "2. Never have, never will. What's the point in that?" Bullshit, Utils! You talk at length about jelqing! So I'm guessing you read up on all that penis enlargening, and never measured your cock?
Utils Dr. Pickle (9/19/01 10:28 am)	Re: She made this shit up. I don't measure. What is the point of measuring your cock? And then actually doing it. gay. I'm not getting a fucking tape measure you fag.
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/19/01 3:33 pm)	Re: She made this shit up. Ha ha, any guy that denies measuring his dick might as well deny masturbating. YOU'VE TOTALLY MEASURED YOUR DICK BEFORE, AT LEAST ONCE. EVERY MAN HAS.
zb Probably Zapd (9/19/01 5:22 pm)	Rulers "YOU'VE TOTALLY MEASURED YOUR DICK BEFORE, AT LEAST ONCE. EVERY MAN HAS. " First time I read that it came off as every man has measured Utils' dick. Then I realized what was really meant. I like my interpretation better.
ImmortalBubbles Pickle Gangster King (9/19/01 6:49 pm)	Re: Rulers I suppose I am not a man yet since I have not defecated in the shower...
Utils Dr. Pickle (9/19/01 6:57 pm)	You'll understand this on the ride home. Chris Psaros is telling me how to be a man.
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/20/01 1:55 am)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. Actually, I KNOW you've measured it before, YOU SCANDALOUS NEGRO. Remember that diary entry thingy that you posted at MHP (may God's grace shine upon its eternal departed soul), in which you discussed your PENIS LENGTH in detail? Yeah.
MANTI5 Xtra Large Pickle (9/20/01 2:21 am)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. Chris is IRON MEMORY!11 Shoot me.
ChrisPsaros Free Pickles (9/20/01 3:23 am)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. I remember everything that has happened on these boards. EVERYTHING. measures penis
Utils Dr. Pickle (9/20/01 6:03 am)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. oh yeah. i forgot! Well then, I apologize. how manly ~.^
Utils Dr. Pickle (9/20/01 6:04 am)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. What else have i forgotten?
ImmortalBubbles Pickle Gangster King (9/20/01 5:19 pm)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. How about that time you threw up in the show which surprised you so much you took a shit? I REMEMBER NOTHING
Brandylion Can I be a pickle gangster? (9/20/01 9:32 pm)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. Hahaha! I had forgotten about that thread too! Were you blushing, Utils? I have a terrible memory & I'm easily distracted. My friends call me the absent-minded professor. Absolute zero is cool.
Utils Dr. Pickle (9/21/01 6:58 am)	Re: You'll understand this on the ride home. I was being manly like psaros and emoting. Psaros is a mountain of a man.
The Vinny Mac Official TL Slut (9/25/01 7:20 pm)	Re: What men do... 1. FARTS: I don't think many men like the smell of their farts. 2. PENIS MEASURING: Of course, AND IT SEEMS I'VE BEEN MEASURING MY PENIS THE WRONG WAY ACCORDING TO MADNESS. Jesus, I'm afraid to measure my dick now. I like my way better. 3. PENIS TUCK: Haha, yes. 4. PENIS LOOK: I don't think so, at least intentionally. 5. YOUNG SEX: YES 6. SMELL TEST: Only once, it smelled horrendous, so I never did it again. 7. PUKEY PUKE: How could you not taste it? 8. SHOWER PODDY: I've pissed in the shower, but shitting is just fucking nasty. Edited by: The Vinny Mac at: 9/25/01 7:21:28 pm
JebusofNazareth i grow them thar pickles (9/25/01 10:12 pm)	Yeah Its about time I answered this time. 1. Fart: I dont liek mine, but I liek doing it. 2. Penis Measuring: Been there done that. Both ways. 3. Penis Tucking: No. 4. Penis look: No. Why? 5. Young Sex: GOD YES> EVERY DAY IF I COULD! 6. Smell: Yeah, liek Chlorine. 7. Puke: You cant help but taste. You just might not remember it. 8. Shower Functions: I piss in the shower everytime. Shitting? Nah, thats nasty. Also Trainign DAy looks like a great fucking movie.
StupidMike Purple Pickle Monkey Muncher (9/26/01 12:22 am)	Re: Yeah I've done all of that.
Utils Dr. LUV (9/26/01 6:11 am)	Re: Yeah lying nigra!
The Vinny Mac Official TL Slut (9/26/01 1:48 pm)	Re: What men do... MINE SMELLS LIKE SULFUR.
Zapd Bloo Backwards (9/28/01 12:53 am)	The only one that bugs me, Is the shitting in the shower. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS TO CLEAN THAT THING? And just because it goes down the drain doesn't mean it is clean. Would rub your hand on the inside of your toilet bowl and then touch your face with it? UGH. HYGIENE. I remember when they did that list on a local radio show. The freaks just came out of the closet on that one. What would provoke someone into sharing a story about the time he had the flu and shat soup in the shower ON THE RADIO is beyond me.
ChrisPsaros Oooh. Videl. Pigtails... I'll be right back. (9/28/01 4:11 am)	Re: What men do... I SHIT IN MY BED FOR SELF-DEFENSE. IF NECESSARY, I CAN THROW IT AT INTRUDERS.
Utils Dr. LUV (9/28/01 6:16 am)	Re: What men do... Me and psaros should switch cts, I'm into the pigtails, not him. No one shits in the shower, give me a break. This is a farce.
ryanz19 Having my own little pickle party. (9/29/01 5:09 pm)	Re: What men do... I've never looked at another man's dick, at least not intentionally. The only time that I can remember seeing another man's dick(besides porn) is in the locker room during swimming class. Some people walk around naked, and I, unfortunately, looked up at the wrong time. I 've never urinated/shit in the shower. Well, maybe when I was three or four years old. The vomit thing is self-explanitory. I don't particularly enjoy the smell of my own(or anyone elses') farts. Though smelling your own is sometimes unavoidable.
MADali Pickled Iranese Cousin. (9/30/01 12:33 am)	Re: What men do... I've seen all my friend's dicks.
StupidMike The Prince of Primates (9/30/01 2:03 am)	Re: What men do... WAS IT WHEN YOU WATCHED FIGHT CLUB? BECAUSE THAT WAS WHEN MY FRIENDS AND I PULLED OUT OUR COCKS AND PARTICIPATED IN OUR FIRST CIRCLE JERK! BRAD PITT IS THE DREAMIEST, AND THE VIOLENCE JUST MADE ME FEEL SO ALIVE! Edit: unusually high levels of Gay detected in this post. Edited by: Zapd Bloo at: 9/30/01 5:40:11 am
JebusofNazareth They found me. Under a stump. Nursing a chipmunk. (9/30/01 8:53 am)	Hurri-sense tingling!
MADali Pickled Iranese Cousin. (9/30/01 4:05 pm)	Re: Hurri-sense No, Mike, we were too busy pointing out that the movie was hypocritical because..OMG OMG OMG...IT HAS BRAD PITT IN IT! oh gosh!
Utils Dr. LUV (10/1/01 6:58 am)	Re: What men do... Kendo should make a list of what women do.
Big Fagot I wish ALDP was my lover. (10/1/01 3:41 pm)	Re: What men do... 1. FARTS: Possibly. 2. PENIS MEASURING: Yes. 3. PENIS TUCK: Yes. 4. PENIS LOOK: No. 5. YOUNG SEX: Yes. 6. SMELL TEST: Yes. 7. PUKEY PUKE: Yes. 8. SHOWER PODDY: No. I don't mind my farts. Hell, they're mine. I don't think I've done it just to smell it, but I can't say. It never occurred to me to measure from the bottom. I guess I'm TOO HONEST. Six inches, ladies, if you don't mind a TWISTY STRAW SHAPE. As a youth, I was wont to roll the spongy tissue of my fellow in the loose skin around. And say "WHERE'D MY PENIS GO?" I really don't think I've specifically done the "penis look" thing, but once, when I was three, I watched a friend pee. He didn't want to let me, because he thought I'd laugh. I told him I wouldn't, and watched. I also snuck into his garage and peed my pants. Come on, 25% of teenagers are still older than me. OF COURSE I WANT THEIR SWEET BODIES. I've tasted it. Swallowed some, too. But I don't recommend it, because I feel lousy afterwards. Yeah, puke. I once was out on my bike and found a cul de sac that had apparently been constructed but not developed not far from my house, so I took a shit. Now a ditzy, happy girl lives on that street, and it makes me happy. I also jerked off in another, similar cul de sac once, but it was hard because the fresh air kept drying my penis.
Utils Dr. LUV (10/1/01 8:14 pm)	Re: What men do... One time in band camp, I constantly farted around the girls. They'd go like, "Eeeyew, you're obnoxious, fag!" And I'd go, "Nooo, you don't understand! This is a sign of affection! It means that I love y'all enuff to feel comfortable enuff to share my natural odors with you!" Bitches didn't get it. Their loss. Edited by: Brandylion at: 10/1/01 8:22:40 pm
Brandylion Beautifyl beyond illusion (10/1/01 8:27 pm)	Re: What men do... I read this somewhere - Q: Why do men have to ogle at other women? A: Women look too, but they can memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, they have to burn it into their memory by staring as much as they can. Absolute zero is cool.
Triple Life H-N-I-C (10/1/01 8:29 pm)	Re: What men do... Women are stupid and condecending. If they were really as superior to men as they think they are they wouldn't have been subjugated by us for thousands of years. YA YA, WOMYN NUMBAR 1!!!!!
Brandylion Beautifyl beyond illusion (10/1/01 8:39 pm)	Re: What men do... Yes, we do tend to be condescending towards men. It's a habit developed from having to deal with children. Absolute zero is cool.
Utils Dr. LUV (10/1/01 8:41 pm)	Re: What men do... LET US BURN ZEE BRAs!