Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[L Ron Butterfly]

I know my last story was anticlimactic, and most people don't want to read another long story and also will think I'm inventing this to make up for my prior failure, so I'll keep this short.

Thursday night I went to "Eighties night" at One Eyed Jacks. Toward the end of the EVENT, when the dance floor was thinning out, I saw a girl who appeared a very butch lesbian. I was desparate and terribly depressed. I started to dance with her, she pulled me close to her and I eventually obtained an erection. She said, "You have a hard on" and kissed me. We sat down at a bench next to the bar and made out. We went to the bar to order shots, and she reached into my pants and began to jack me off. I had to tell her to stop. She apologized. If it sounds like I'm bragging, I'd like to remind you that this girl had a larger-than-average pear-shaped body and was wearing like flannel or something. But she had multiple facial piercings, including two lip rings.

She lead me into the girl's restroom, brought me into a stall, and attempted to engage in intercourse with me. I told her I didn't have a condom. We exchanged numbers. I met her at her house later that night (around five AM). She still lived with her parents, even though she was a year older than I. She told me she had an indoor heated pool and that her mom was running for city counsel. She was lying.

We went into her bedroom and I inserted my penis into her large gaping vagina that smelled of Tender Vittles.

We were both pretty bored. She began to talk about "toys" and reached under her bed. "What kind of toys do you like? How kinky do you like it?" Before I could think to say "Anal beeds" (actually what I said was "my only boundary is that nothing enters me" [lame]_) she pulled a small pistol from under her bed, pointed it at me, and said, "Get the fuck out of my house right now." I said, "OK, but I need my clothes first" She said, "This thing is loaded. Get the fuck out my house right now." I was in her bedroom doorway and tried to get past her to get my clothes. She pushed me, and my body collided harshly with the hallway wall. This awoke her dad who said, "What's going on in here? Who the hell are you? Get your clothes on and get the fuck out of my house."

She disappeared somewhere. I collected my clothes from her bedroom floor, accidentally taking her shirt instead of mine, which sucked because my shirt was a brand new gift from a friend who had done biology field work in Africa. It was a soccer jersey from Gabon and it was pretty cool. Now psycho bitch has it.

I drove off into the sunrise (it was like seven thirty at this point) and disposed of the condom out of my window and onto the highway (disgusting).

My libido is unconquerable and will get me into many a stupifying situation to come.

[Stupid Fucking Faggot]

Hahaha, Tender Vittles.

[Stupid Fucking Faggot]

Now talk about something that actually happened to you.

[Potatoes]

Punkassss has a way of making the most mundane and everyday happenings seem boring.

[L Ron Butterfly]

This really happened. I don't think it was a real gun, actually. It looked like it could be a cap gun or something. It was very small. But it was shiny silver.

I could go into more detail. She had a cat named "Cannibus." When she told me, I asked her, "Is there any other cannibus in the house?" And she said NO, and I said, "That's a shame." She didn't seem like she understood what I was saying. She might have just been too drunk to understand what I was asking. She was like retarded drunk. Or maybe she just named her cat after the rapper, and really had no idea what cannibus was.

Getting to her house was a pain in the ass. She lived way out in KENNER, which is like thirty minutes from New Orleans. It's right on the verge of being SUPER HICK VILL. As it stands, it's just regular hick vill. I had to get directions from her, and she was just barely sober enough to give them. At one point, one of her friends who she was taking home called me and gave me better directions. I was stunned. I thought she was going to say something like, "Melody is very drunk right now, and you should probably just go home. I don't think she knows what she's doing."

I was pretty suspicious of her the whole time. I wasn't even sure if she was really a girl at first. Eighties Night is NOTORIOUS for its wonderful tranvestites, but I can usually point them out pretty easily. Her face was just a little too feminime to be a guy, but she still could have been. But then, she had a pussy and everything, so I guess she wasn't.

She kept saying, "Shhhhh" for no reason when we were fucking. I was being extremely quiet about it. The loudest thing in the room was her saying "shhhhh" any time she started to say it.

[Action Hank]

Ah, the springtime of youth!

[Servbot]

Did you at least finish? Punkasss I thought you said you learned your lesson about picking up chicks at bars. Its retarded and not worth it!

[Action Hank]

It is a better story than the last.

[Sporkism]

Well, I read this one and not the first one, so there's that.

Even still, I can't imagine this story being an upgrade on any level.

[MADali]

You'd be surprised.

[L Ron Butterfly]

Oh shit, I forgot to ask YOU what YOU did two nights ago.

(Played GUNZ)

Oh, well you got me there.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Nothing in this story is something to be proud of.

[Action Hank]

So, is the whole "dyke" look is a non-penised masculinity? I never really got it. I especially never got it when the girls are not gay but try to look so.

[Mautty]

You get boners very easy.

[Magic Juan]

Really, Gunz is awesome, and is a much better activity then racing Mad as a Hatter to the bottom of a sexual embarassment hole.

[Mautty]

Guys I was walking home and this CHick just jumps out the bushes and starts to suck my cock. But before I can cum she asks what kink of canned good I like in my ass. Then she flips out and stabs my leg with shank. True story.

[Jason]

At least you got out of there with your awesome shirt.

[Magic Juan]

God, fuck you.

[Nickass]

I liked the last story better.

[Mautty]

Yeah but my awesome pants that my friend stole off a dead nigger have a hole in them.