Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Magic Juan]

Caligula is sitting in his mighty skull and bone and entrail chair eating the head of a recently decapitated buffalo. A man in front of Caligula lies in the fetal position, bruised and battered.

"Your highness, that's one of the last buffalo in all of America..." the man cries pitifully.

Caligula stops eating the buffalo head with his mouth and hands and sets it into the hands of one of his servants.

"Delightful, that's just what I wanted to hear! Guards, this man's utility to me is no longer murderfully efficient" Caligula exclaims, wringing his hands together and licking buffalo blood off of his lips. Two goons walk by chuckling and grabbing at their dicks and shit and lift their swords in the air, ready to decapitate the man. "No, no, use your fists, make it slow" Caligula exclaims. The two goons start burping and pawing at their crotches in murderlust and drop their swords. The man lets out a wail and tries to get up and run but just as he makes it a few feet, the chain connecting his leg to a stake in the ground lets out a loud clank! and the man falls to the ground. The two goons proceed to begin punching him in the face until his cries of anguish are no more. They take his body after he's dead and throw it into the pit in front of Caligula, the man's zoo ID tag falling off his body bouncing off a few rocks before landing on top of the corpse.

"Now then" Caligula says, "What is the first order of my court today?"

His scribe takes out his flesh-scrolls and reads it over. "Your audience with one Waylyn Axelrod is scheduled to start in two minutes-" Just as the scribe announces that, a hundred goons carrying a large cage full of bars made of fucking spikes and shit and axes hanging everywhere inside the cage and chainsaws revving on the ground, appear and lay it down in front of Caligula. In the middle of the cage, surrounded by revving chainsaws and huge katanas and shit and three goons holding flamethrowers (In the event that if Axelrod tries to excape, the goons with flamethrowers are so close that they will kill each other and not suffer a terrible death at his hands) is Axelrod. He looks extremely gaunt and famished; however, being a rock star this means that he's in the prime of his health. Caligula swats the scribe away with a large gnarled hand, sending the scribe flying backwards and (more ridiculous hyperbole about a simple backhand causing insane devastation on someone's corpus.)

"Axelrod, how splendidly strenghthful do you look, it pleasures me to see that all this fighting and murder has brought you back into prime form after that match with Lunar Plexus. How do you like your accomodations in my terror tower?" Caligula says, he wrings his hands together and gets out of his throne, walking closely to the cage.

"The killing I've done here is but a quarter note in a larger symphony of slaughter, your highness" Axelrod sneers.

"Ah, that's splendid! Hopefully then, we'll get to make a few more measures with your time here. Unfortunately, while your battle with Glorious Titan was quite exciting, I don't think it earns you the Rawk Stone." Caligula says, turning his back to the cage and gazing downards.

Axelrod says nothing. However, he notices a bunch of goons carrying out what looks like a case. They lay it down in front of Caligula.

"BUT. I'm willing to give you a gift, with no strings attached. I think you'll find the insides of the case extremely interesting." Caligula motions towards the goons. They take the case and slowly slide it between all the axes and chainsaws and shit towards Axelrod, who is sitting unbound in the center. One of the goons with the flamethrowers grabs on of the case's straps, but whatever is inside the case is extremely heavy and his arm fucking snaps off when he tries to one arm it, fucking spraying blood and sinew everywhere. The other guards start to sweat and before they know it, Axelrod has the case. He unzips one of the pockets and inside is a pack of Stone Cold Wife Ashtray unfiltered. "I'll smoke one after I kill you" Axelrod says to one of the guards, and the goon's pants turn a darker shade. Axelrod continues unzipping the pack, and inside, is a guitar...

A...guitar? I haven't....what is Caligula doing? The last time I played a guitar, I caused the plane I was on to crash...what a fool

"Do you like your present Axelrod? I've decided that if we gave you a new tool, you'd be able to unleash some unspeakable murders against your upcoming opponent, Thrak."

Axelrod looks over at the guitar. Constructed entirely out of what appears to be elephant tusk, the the guitar's body resembles a jagged ninja star, with the neck stretching out longer then any guitar he's ever seen. The strings themselves are tightly coiled and Axelrod runs his non-pick fingers against them, realizing that they are made from the solidified ashes of holocaust survivors from Auschwitz. Axelrod straps the guitar on.

"Caligula, you just gave me the key to whatever vault the Rawkstone is in..." and with that, Axelrod, plays a chord with his pick fingers. A huge fucking wave of sound comes out, Axelrod plays a fucking tritone, a chord banned in the 16th century. The two flamethrower goons just fucking explode in gore and the top of the cage flies open and the fucking chainsaws in the cage go flying everywhere grinding up several goons and shit and everyone backs away in awe. As the gore and dust clear, Caligula walks INTO THE CAGE, right next to Axelrod.

"What was that Axelrod?" He says, grinning evily.

Axelrod's pupils are no longer there and his arms hang limply down. His cigarette falls out of his mouth. However, instead of the whites of his eyes, IS NOW A DARK MURDEROUS RED.

"Genocide....I feel the screams of the dead in this guitar and in my ears...where do you want me to direct this unrelenting pain...master?" Axelrod says emotionlessly.

"Your next opponent is Thrak, powerslave" and Caligula cackles. "From now on, there is no more Axelrod Waylyn but my new powerslave, by giving him this guitar I have created the ultimate killing machine, but most importantly, I have created my greatest tool yet!"

Caligula's court minsterl sits in the corner, playing a quiet elegy. His bandaged hands moving slowly, almost as if they were depressed.

[Magic Juan]

move this into the FTUW forum, plz

[Big Fagot]

Is this gay news?

[Ryoko's Biatch]

No, it's not about you.

[Mautty]

Durr im Magic juan

[Magic Juan]

; _ _ (

[Spamdini]

Bah gawd! Axelrod, an evil tool of Caligula?!

[Magic Juan]

Axelrod, enslaved by Caligula, dreams of this:

[Big Fagot]

Hahahaha, Jesus Christ.

[Magic Juan]

Axelrod is still dreaming

Axelrod is in the middle of a huge desert. He sits alone on a hill with a huge amp, and a giant shackle shaped like a guitar (The part where the pick-ups would be are hollow) around his ankle. He sits, gazing into the distance when all of a sudden, a fucking dragon flies down out of nowhere and a tall thin man clad in entirely black wearing a crown jumps off of it and lands right next to Axelrod.

"So, it looks like you're a little caught up, Axelrod Waylyn" The man says, and it looks like all the sand in the desert is reflecting a huge red spotlight on his face.

"I was foolish to think that Caligula's gift is sincere, now my true consciousness is trapped behind some sort of mental slavery." Axelrod responds. He realized that he never spoke those words, but that he thought them and the man acknowledged him.

"That's a shame. Once Handsomus disappeared, I thought that I would have a new crown prince of rawk in this plane of existence" the man says, a large fire for some reason shoots up behind him.

"... My murder potential has risen; however, it's useless murder, strictly subservient to Caligula and not Page and Hendrix, whom my carnage rocking was dedicated to" Axelrod says.

"Listen disciple, I'll give you another chance if you can answer this riddle. What happens when you think that you get closer to the meaning?" the man in the black trenchcoat similar to Axelrod's says.

Axelrod looks at him, and then takes a quick glance at the guitar shaped shackle that keeps him stuck to the amp in the middle of the desert. He looks back at the man and smirks, and even in this infinite dream desert he realizes that he has a pack of Stone Cold Unfiltered Ashtray cigarettes. He takes one out and lights it.

"The sooner you know that your dreaming" Axelrod says, and exhales a hot whisp of smoke, impossible hot considering that they are already in a desert.

The man in black smiles. He produces a small pick and tosses it at Axelrod. "That's the first pick of destiny. Once you've answered three of my riddles, you'll be free of Caligula's mental imprisonment and you'll be able to meet the naked Indian who wanders this desert. Together, you'll soon find the secret of Rawk Valhalla" the man in black says. He looks up at the sky, and the dragon fucking flies out of nowhere. The man floats effortlessly onto the dragon and flies away.

Axelrod looks up and watches them soar into the endless red sky. He takes the pick and notices that there are holes in the pick-ups of the guitar. He takes the pick and puts it into the hole. The guitar begins to hum slightly, as the pick slowly sinks into the guitar shackle and melts away. Axelrod stares into the distance, and for a second he thinks that he can see a rainbow arc over where the man in black and the dragon flew off.

[Magic Juan]

Axelrod is sitting on a large pedestal next to Caligula's throne. He has the devilish guitar, strung with the ashes of holocaust victims. Caligula rises out of his throne, and points off into the distance.

"My powerslave is the ultimate in death and destruction. Just to prove that he is going to fucking mutilate and destroy Thrak with no regard, I'm going to have my powerslave put on a little, demonstration shall we say" Caligual exclaims.

As Caligula speaks, all of a sudden a large bridge is drawn over a large cliff overlooking a huge valley with lava flowing underneath it. On the bridge are a bunch of goons dressed up like cavemen, and at the end one can see a silhouette of a stick-like figure right behind them.

"Axelrod's tasks is to cross the bridge, where three goons embodying Thrak will stand, and after killing them, he will them do something extremely awesome" Caligula screams, and fucking hundreds of goons who just languish around Caligula all day cheer and shit.

Axelrod, with his entirely red pupils, gets off the pedestal and begins walking across the bridge. He heads towards it and the first goon jumps at him. Axelrod non-chalantly plays his guitar, and a fucking powerful sonic beam erupts out of it. His fingers play so fast, being made of fucking picks of course, that it looks as if he doesen't even move. The sonic wave flies out and fucking severs the first caveman goon in half. Axelrod walks towards the second goon and the guy thinks he has a chance. He runs at Axelrod, with a stone axe. Before he even gets to Axelrod, Axelrod takes the guitar off, laying it gently on the ground. The goon leaps at Axelrod, ready to sever his face, and Axelrod turns around, punching the goon. His fingerpicks go right through the goon and the goon lets out a huge scream. The third goon, sensing an early demise, runs at Axelrod. Axelrod, seeing the other goon run at him in his sabretooth tiger-skin suit, throws the other goon at him by making a punching motion with his arm. The goon flies off of his arm and hits the other goon, and the two fall into the river of flame below. Axelrod continues across the bridge crossing it. In front of him, is a girl with her hands tied standing up and a huge stick figure thing made of WOOD. Axelrod takes his guitar (HE TAKES IT) and puts it around himself. He plays a fucking devastating riff, and suddenly he's wearing a huge bear costume. He runs up to the girl, in his bear costume, and fucking punches the girl in the face, causing her to fucking explode. He then takes his guitar, which is around his bear costume and plays a tasty lick. The lick causes the wicker stick figure idol to fucking burst into flame. Axelrod turns around, and screams at all the goons.

Caligula stands out of his throne. "I would rather that Thrak get wood so that he can make a time machine to go home. But I would especially like to see it all go in flame so that Thrak battles my murderslave tommorow" Caligula screams, and thousands of faggot goons cheer.

"Nobody plays an elegy as murderfully and genocidal as I do in Caligula's name! Tommorow at Elegy of Extinction, the cavemen will know that my hand with the picks on it's name is Crissaegrim, and I will play him something that will send him back into the Stone Age" Axelrod screams, his voice unnatural and different, sounding empty and hollow.

It echoes off the canyon walls.

"into the stone age age age age age..."