Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Captain PUNisher]

(and other gay titles)

Doolittle
Act III Scene I

“Oh, nows Isa ‘member wha’ ‘appened” Doolittle says to himself as he remembers what happened to him during the last promo.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Doolittle stands in the middle of the battle field, his head is swimming from the blow he has received. All around zombies and vampires collied with thugs in mohawks. Doolittle looks to one side and sees a towering figure commanding the thugs. He is an eight foot tall monster with his lips curled in a permanent sneer. Above his lips, on top of his head, sits a mohawk that is just an axe head sewn into his skull. Down a little and on the sides he has two spinners in his ear lobes, like giant gauges. On his nipples hang baby skulls attached to rings and eh has a bunch of other body parts and metal and shit all over his body. Also his arms are covered in colorful gel bracelets, these are meant to represent how many people he has raped with each color being a different kind of rape. Doolittle turns his head to the other side and sees a striking contrast in Gigi.

The sunlight radiates off of her pale skin, and although she too has piercing they are the nice kind, no babies or car parts. She also has nice tattoos. Holding up her black pants is her half of the Castlevania Tag Team Belt that she won with Hard’Rok it’s golden brilliance almost out shines Gigi’s beautiful skin, almost.

Suddenly! Doolittle is hit in the stomach with a mace, forcing him to stop his day dreaming and get back to the battle. He DDTs the guy who it him and zombies swarm on that fag. As Doolittle gets up he sees someone in trouble across the field. It’s a member of the Hard’Corps and he’s surrounded by goons, one of which who is about to smash some sort of weapon over his head. Doolittle knows that he can’t make it to him in time and so he reaches down and grips his boomerang. Pulling ti out of his belt he puts his arm behing his head and lets it go with a powerful throw, sending the ‘rang flying. It flies toward the thug at break-neck speeds until it collides with his head and ... just knocks him out because really, what more do you expect a boomerang to do? Gigi and the other Hard’Corps members members fight their way through the crowd and, with their chairs held proundly, take out the other goons attacking their comrade. Gigi looks over and Doolittle and gives him a wink.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Doolittle stops remembering becasue the rest is unimportant and at any rate he has to go train. All you need to know is that the forces of the N.E.D. won and that maybe the leader of the goons got away and he may see him later, or not.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Captain PUNisher]

Doolittle! Stop remembering things! It’s time to train” Higgins yells into Doolittle’s room.

“Okay” Higgins says when Doolittle walks into the room. “Today we are going to work on your promoing skills. Okay, now I’ll give you an example, and then you can try one.”

“HULK HOGAN! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, CUZ I’M COMING FOR YOU! NOW, PEOPLE MIGHT BE WONDERING ‘WHAT DID HULK HOGAN EVER DO TO YOU?’ WELL IT’S LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER SAYS, HOGAN, THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT US, THEY DON’T KNOW THE HISTORY WE HAVE, HOW LONG THIS FEUD HAS BEEN GOING ON. YOU RUINED MY LIFE HOGAN AND SO I REPAID THE FAVOR, WHY DON’T YOU TELL THE PEOPLE WHY YOU AND LINDA REALLY GOT A DIVORCE?! I’M SURE THEY WOULD BE QUITE INTERESTED TO KNOW, AND COMING UP ON SUMMERSLAM THEY MIGHT JUST FIND OUT!”

“Wow” Doolittle says stunned. “That was pretty vicious.”

“Yeah, well, that’s wrestling” Higgins says. “Now you try it.”

“Oh ... um” Doolittle starts. “Hulk Hogan ... youz tink youz so ‘ot! Yeah, but youz know what? Youz ... not. Um ... your son likes cars, ‘a’a, but maybe ‘e like it iffen I ‘hit ‘im wit a car!” Higgins shakes his head. “Oh, uh ... well ... it’sa creepy ‘ow your kids is always flirtin’ wit each other! What does you tink of dat!?”

“Well” Higgins says. “That’s a start, I guess. How about you try again, and this time try to bring the audience into it a little, oh and do this one about YOUR opponent.”

“Oh, right, right” Doolittle says. “Now, allz my fans ... uh, must be wonderin’ ‘ow dey chen ‘elp me beat Corporal Body. Youz may be sayin’ ta youzself ‘How must I prepare to help out Doolittle? Should I jump off the tallest building in the world!? Should I lay on the lawn and let it run over me with lawn mowers!? Should I go to Africa and let it tromple me with raging elephants!?’ Well, Isa tells youz ‘ow youz chen ‘elp me! Just lead me ya good faith en ya ‘ope and thats be all Isa need to put an end ta Corporal Body once and for all!”

Higgins slaps his hand onto his forehead. “Better.”
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Captain PUNisher]

Doolittle
Act III Scene III

“All right, we’ll work on promos again later” Higgins says as he rolls his eyes. “Right, now there is a move I want to teach you, I think it will fit your previous fighting style nicely

“I want you to copy what Pickering does. Okay, now Pickering, take that dummy and Irish whip it into the turnbuckle” Pickering does this. “Now climb onto the second rope” Pickering does this too. “Okay, this is the most important part. Make your hands into fists and slam them into the dummy’s head ten times” of course Pickering does this.

“See?” Higgins asks. “Simple enough, right. Now don’t worry about losing track of how many punches you’ve done, the audience will be counting them out loud. So, go ahead and try.”

Doolittle lifts up the dummy and proceeds to Irish whip him into one the turnbuckles. Fast on the dummy’s heels Doolittle chases after it. Before the dummy can react, Doolittle climbs onto the middle rope and raises his fist into the air.

The dummy is helpless as our hero lays into him with blow after blow, counting them as he goes.

“One ...... ta ...... thee ......” he starts out slowly, unsure of himself.
“Fo ... fev ... sis ...” he goes faster as he gain confidence.
“Seven .. ate .. nin..” the audience in his head is counting along right with him.
“Tin ... elevon ... twef ...” he passes right over his goal!
“Numba thirteen baby!”

Doolittle hops down from the turnbuckle with a smug look on his face.

“Huh, nice move, prof. But Is tink I made un emprovment onnit.”
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Captain PUNisher]

Doolittle
Act III Scene IV

A cloud of dust surrounds the freeway as a grey van rolls down Interstate 5. It is heading south toward the N.E.D. border. Animals that now fill the former Oregon country side peek out their heads to see what all the commotion is about, automobiles have become a rarer sight in this area over the last three years. The van's contents are unknown.

Colonel Pickering is in the drivers seat with Higgins next to him, Doolittle is in the back, blind-folded. Higgins and Pickering discuss things. It is clear that Higgins is nervous about what is to come, but it is also clear that he is sure of his decision.

“Are you sure you are ready to do this?” Pickering asks.
Oh course” Higgins says. “He’s only going to be gone for a month, and I am confident that he can handle himself”.
“I wasn’t talking about him” Pickering says.

Before Higgins can say anything to that, Doolittle speaks up from the back.

“‘Ey, isa we dere yet?”
“Actually,” says Higgins. “We are”.

Higgins brings the van to a stop right in front of a think black line on the ground and they get out of the car.

“Well,” Higgins says as he removes the blindfold from Doolittle’s eyes. “We’re here. The border between the Empire and Neues Osterreich.
“Wow” Doolittle exlcaims. “Dis sure am a purdy place, but wha-“
“SEE YOU AT ELEGY OF EXTINCTION!” Higgins calls as they peel out

[Captain PUNisher]

Oh by the way, all these promos happened in the first couple days after the last PPV, so he is going to be on his way to this next PPV for a month.

Also, to however is writing the match (you know, if the bookers ever pull their heads out of their asses) can you make it so that Doolittle looks all ragged and has shoulder lengh hair and a grizzled beard? Thank you.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.