Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[johnbuisthegreat]

I was thinking about Madalis post complaining about youngsters on the internet but the age range of this board varies quite a bit also. Anyways I will post about what I have accomplished in life so far and anyone else feel free to follow suit.

January 1984 currently 28

I spent 4 years in the military then 6 months contracting in Iraq after that I got my 2 year degree (in 2.5 semesters I believe) 3.82 GPA from community college now I have a dead end job that no matter how good I am it is contract and they let me go after 2 or 3 years (currently just finished 1 year at this job) I have a house but in my wifes name because of my N/A credit score. I drive a 2008 Nissan Altima that after getting back from Iraq it is paid in full (thus giving me no credit score kind of a bad choice but I dislike the idea of payments) I barley save any money from each paycheck but I go out to eat too much even though I enjoy cooking. I spend most of my time working, playing video games and otherwise taking my 2 step daughters to the zoo or museums. I also have a dog and 3 cats.

I will add to this - Been with my wife since January of 2008. As far as real life friends go I have 2-3 best friends but they live in Syracuse so I rarely see them but talk to one on the phone almost weekly. Do not have any friends in Rochester except one coworker who I have hung out with outside of work a couple of times (not counting video games). Do not get out to much so probably will not make anymore friends in life at this time.

[Fagzilla]

As for me, well, heh heh...

[MADali]

I think I could possibly be the most successful person at FTU. Few months back I was promoted to handling the company's branch in Iran, which means I have over 100 employees working under me, and several branches in Iran, with the company's revenue being in the millions. I currently make a decent amount of money, which might not be huge compared to western salaries (but I still think it might be above most FTUers) but certainly puts me in the 1% in Iran. However, I also have a decent investment portfolio consisting of a property, gold reserves, and I have money saved in both Iran and Dubai bank. I'm also thinking of starting business on the side, since I have money lying around.

Of course, I enjoy none of these things, and I feel like Patrick Bateman.

[johnbuisthegreat]

If you are starting to feel like Patrick Bateman you may be stuck. There may be no fun for you left.

Would you start your own business to be your own boss or just because it is the thing to do with money? I guess vacations are fleeting and material objects are worth as much as you use them. Spend the money to find an artist to recreate your likeness in stone. Western salaries are too inflated and are constantly crumbling the economy. I do not know why people do not have millionaires rubbed off just to get the money back in the system or just burned.

[MADali]

I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be FTU dark or whatever, but I really feel like something inside of me is growing. I am extremely good in reading people, I can understand their personality in minutes, which is a talent that has been extremely useful in my career, and while it started as helping me in trying to sell my products as a sales man years ago, it has turned into an ability to easily manipulate people. I know we joked around with pushing buttons lol, but I've been extremely good at this, not pushing buttons to make people angry, but to say, act, and be to achieve my goals.

I've become a very likable person, I've created a personality that thrives of fake humbleness and giving people the feeling that I'm transparent, naive, and honest. I've picked up chicks by bashfully claiming that I'm bad at picking up chicks and gotten clients by awkwardly claiming that I'm not really a good salesperson so I can't sell them anything they don't need.

None of these were really done on purpose, but one day, I suddenly realized that I'm acting every single moment and analysing everyone around me. Because most of my actions and decisions have turned out to be really helpful for my career and personal life (I'm the youngest Country Manager in my company, out of 70+ countries), this has given me the feeling that I'm really better than everyone else. Like a certain number of teenagers, I felt it when I was young, but now that I'm older, I feel that I have enough evidence to support the fact.

All this has made me into a careful, egoistic, self-assured, manipulative, actor. I rarely get angry, but when I do, I'm either acting angry (but not really angry) because its the best action to be taken at that time, or actually angry. The latter frightens myself, because its a raw, brutal feeling, that I feel like I can barely contain it. In this state, either I say nothing and just stare, and I've heard from more than one person, that my stare frightens them. I've had employees and my wife cry, just by looking at them. One of my colleagues (before I was management) told me, months later after one of my states, that she considered herself as a tough, independant woman, but she got scared when I got angry. She told me my eyes resembled wolves eyes. However, this stare and sometimes my calm voice is me restraining myself. But I've lost my control a few times, and then its something else, I become violent and cruel. I had such a moment with my wife last month, and I came close to physically harming her, and I felt something inside of me, struggling to control my anger.

I feel as my path goes on, I push myself deeper inside my mask and my created personality, but recently, I feel all this restrainment and control is creating or giving rise to something darker inside me. As I mentioned, because I am so likable, I have had employees talk to me about their personal issues, and when girls cry in my office about their problems, I'm supportive, gentle, and kind, and when they leave, I cometimes have an erection. In my sexual fantasies, it all turns into me harming others, young girls and boys, married couples, mothers, all humiliated, harmed, just to satisfy my urges. In my mind, I sometimes fantasize in minute details in how to kidnap someone, kill them, and dispose of their body in a way that I am not caught. Not because I want to kill anyone, but because I want to do something completely real and true, and then, know that I got away with it. I imagine people closest to me dying, just so I can feel tormented and hurt, and lead a tragic pained life. I pretend that through a great loss in my life, I can be more in touch with my humanity, and find some freedom through it.

This confession has meant nothing.

[johnbuisthegreat]

When most people try to talk to me in public I instantly want them to go away. You should probably not stockpile money so you do not end up with enough to plan a kidnap/murder and get away with it (money would usually be a factor to it all) I rarely have emotion and try to think things out logically. I have only been angry a couple of times in my life and my wife saw one which scared her (then again if you are rarely angry and you let it out once it is not ordinary and concerning at that time). Usually my wife will get upset and yell and I just ignore her completely until she cools down and she ends up apologizing to me.

[ALDP]

So when you gave up on your spell website, it wasn't because you felt BAD about fleecing Chris Psaros types, it was because your DISGUST for your clients was too great to provide them with relief of any kind?

[Jason]

How's film school going?
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[Fagzilla]

I kind of love MADali lately.

That post was.... WELL, IT WAS CERTAINLY SOMETHING!

[Ryoko's Biatch]

I thought he was being overly dramatic until he said erection, then the post went sideways.

[Fagzilla]

I can't guarantee that I won't post an exhaustive self-analysis in this thread.

This thread is like a scantily-clad young lady walking down a dark alley at night, and I am a horny hoodlum in the shadows.

[ALDP]

I hope you post a few more times about posting before you actually post something

[Fagzilla]

Go to hell, go to hell!

[Theldorrin]

I guess it's sort of sad that MADali so desperately wants to feel something.
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@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Fagzilla]

You better watch your mouth Theldorrin, before he decides to give you the cry-stare and totally fucking obliterate you emotionally.

[Theldorrin]

I can't really cry anymore, so I think I'm safe.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Jason]

Everyone at FTU is so unique!!!!
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[Magic Juan]

THERE'S A BUMP ON THE WALL

[johnbuisthegreat]

Thanks for helping to keep this thread alive Magic Juan. I was hoping more out of this but at least it got some stuff rolling.

Majic Guan

[Magic Juan]

I was going to write a super gay life update in a new journal thread but then you beat me to it...