Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Spamdini]

Hi everyone! It's that time of the year again, and though I skipped doing reviews last year I have missed everyone dearly and would like to continue my tradition of hyping up movies most of you will never want to see.

But you should! Because they're great!

<3
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[Spamdini]

The Hooligan Factory (England)
*** (of five)

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/127/the-hooligan-factory

A young man, Danny, seeks an identity and a purpose in life. His father was a soccer hooligan sent to jail for life after cold cocking a female stenographer and beating up a judge at a trial for a lesser crime. While his pops was a respected and feared member of the soccer rioter community however, Danny never bothered to fit in anywhere and is now jobless and homeless to boot. After unwisely deciding to hang out with his ginger friend, he meets legendary hooligan leader Dex who had just been released from prison himself. Together they reassemble his old outfit and begin to wreak havoc all over Britain before facing their final foe: the well-spoken and well-dressed Baron, the hooligan leader responsible for the death of Dex's son.

A dark, violent comedy that includes large scale brawls and absolutely no soccer. Both of those are pluses in my book! Kinda of like a Snatch-lite, but without as much humor and wit and more shock value (Oh look, that guy is crazy and does drugs! Ohohoho!) Though lacking in subtlety and cleverness, there are a fair amount of funny bits and enough to keep you entertained all the way through. The very first scene never gets explained or tied in to the rest of the movie though, and that still bugs me.
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[Spamdini]

Zombeavers
****1/2 (of five)

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/162/zombeavers

Three girls and three guys take a vacation to a cabin, where they are assaulted by zombie beavers. Zombeavers!

Follows the Piranha 3D trend of paying tribute while also lampooning the slasher genre, and not the Sharknado trend of OH SHIT LOOK AT HOW RETARDED THIS IS HA HA! The script is surprisingly clever and the ad-libbing by the actors produces some really funny moments (the end credits sequence shows alternate takes and lines in order to highlight where actors took liberties). The special effects were good enough to be cheesy, but not terrible, and while most of it would not qualify as scary, it was not too predictable either. Zombeavers was way better than expected and is a heck of a lot of fun! Watch it with some fellow drunkards.
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[Spamdini]

Demon of the Lute (Hong Kong)
****
http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/202/demon-of-the-lute

Lots of characters and random activity, but the gist is there's a kung fu master known as the Demon who uses an evil lute to kill other martial artists and swordsmen. A young hermit, a woman with a telekinetic sword, a thief and his young son, and a silver-haired drunkard must team up to find a magical bow and arrow and defeat him.

I'm not so much of a wire-fu fan, but Demon of the Lute makes up for what it lacks in real kung fu with a series of increasingly absurd powers and villains. The highlight is a man who rides a chariot pulled by German shepherds and grows a giant red afro in order to make his magic axe 6 feet tall. The movie is full of these types of characters and scenarios, and eschews angry floating martial artists for bird men and giant sentient disco balls. Also, more evil laughs than you can shake a stick at! Doesn't seem like it would hold up on repeated viewings as well as the real kung fu classics, but does a better than most of its contemporaries by using the wire flyign trend as a means to introduce ridiculous powers.
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[Spamdini]

Suburban Gothic (US and A)
* (of five)

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/107/suburban-gothic

Raymond, a recent business school graduate, moves back in with his parents in their small suburban town. There, he befriends a female bartender while getting picked on by the local bullies from when he was in high school. He then finds out that his parents' house is haunted by the spirit of a young murdered girl and must use his paranormal powers to put the souls to rest.

This movie is the epitome of hipster and goth bullshit. Raymond spends the whole movie whining and moping while doing nothing of value other than drinking and dressing funny. And the movie clearly paints him as the sympathetic character. When his father (played in cartoonishly evil fashion by Twin Peaks' Ray Wise) tells him to get a job and gives him chores to do, the audience is clearly supposed to think "Fuck you man!" rather than "Yeah, this guy bumming off his parents who just finished paying for his schooling should probably try to pull his weight". The only reason we side against the father is because he's portrayed as a ridiculously racist and homophobic asshole whereas the progressive protagonist fetishizes latina girls, though he still decides to settle for a nice white girl in Kat Dennings doing her best Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice impression.

I could go on about how much this movie bugs me, but I don't think I'm the target audience since I never grew up in the suburbs. And I know it must be a suburb thing because I also grew up as a weird guy but never ended up as a whiny nihilistic shit. I go see some of these movies with a former co-worker and she always brings this friend of hers who is this gothy gay guy. He said he loved the movie and maybe it just speaks to certain people who do feel ostracized and out of place in a normal world. But I'm pretty sure this guy has terrible taste in everything so I don't think his opinion is valid.

Don't watch this movie. Kat Dennings shows more skin on commercials for 2 Broke Girls, removing any real value that it might have had.
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[SuperPsaturn]

Kat Dennings should just do nudity so you can see her tits on a decent camera since those nude photos of her leaked anyway.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

PSaturn raises a very good point.

[Spamdini]

If Scarlett Johansson did it, anyone can!
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[Spamdini]

The Zero Theorem (UK)
***1/2

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/233/the-zero-theorem

A number crunching computer expert, working on what appears to be a keyboard from The Jetsons, is picked for a project called The Zero Theorem, allowing him to work from home in isolation as per his wishes. However, the work is proving much more difficult than imagined. On top of that, he has given up on caring about life and any of its pleasures, only waiting for a phone call that he believes will change his life. There's also a hooker and a smart-alecky kid.

Not funny like Brazil, but every bit as grim; Gilliam described this as a tragedy. not a comedy. As is the case with most of Terry Gilliam's work, the sets and visuals are just stunning. That alone gives the movie value. Cristoph Waltz hands in another brilliant performance and the rest of the cast performs admirably as well. The religious symbolism and themes are extremely heavy-handed, which is nice for me since I'm kinda dense, but I can see how more high-browed movie goers would appreciate a bit more subtlety. It does also plod a little bit at times, but is otherwise quite enjoyable.
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[Spamdini]

The Suspect (Korea)
***

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/35/the-suspect

A former North Korean special operative who has defected to the south is framed for killing a diplomat who had a secret formula for a chemical weapon. He tries to flee the police while also assassinating the man who killed his family and uncovering the government conspiracy that led to his framing.

A very cool story with brutal and flat out cool fight scenes as well as two ridiculously over-the-top car chases sequences that leave an obscene amount of vehicle and property damage. Sadly, much of this is spread out with exposition that borders on excessive. The ending in particular is drawn out way too long. 20 minutes shorter and this movie would have been fantastic.
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[Spamdini]

Cheatin' (USA)
****

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/9/cheatin

AKA Bill Plympton is the tits! Directed and animated by him alone, all 44,000 drawings that comprise this feature were hand drawn by Plympton himself. The dialogue-less story follows a couple who meet, fall in love, and quickly get married. The hunky husband is duped by a seductress into thinking his wife was involved in a bukkake session, so, heartbroken, he goes on a string of one night stands with a series of floozies. When his wife finds out, she is devastated until a stage magician with a soul-switching machine agrees to help out.

If you're a man of Bill Plympton's cartoons (Guard Dog, Hair High, Idiots & Angels, etc), then this is one of his most visually impressive and moving pictures yet. It is, sadly, not quite as chock full of his trademark sight gags, but it does maintain a humorous vibe (even a cameo by good ol' guard dog!). Strictly for animation fans, but awwwh yeah if you are!
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[Spamdini]

In Order of Disappearance (Norway)
*** 1/2

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/279/in-order-of-disappearance

After unwittingly helping his friend steal coke from a ruthless drug kingpin, a young man is killed. His father, a snowplow driver and reigning Citizen of the Year (i.e.: held in pretty high regard), goes on a cold-blooded mission to avenge him, murdering everyone associated with the killer along the way and accidentally sparking a gang war between the Norwegian dealers and the Serbian rivals.

The protagonist is a pretty cool cat. He's middle-aged and not in top physical condition, but still kicks a fair amount of ass. Initially appearing like an unstoppable machine of vengeance, his naivety and shortcomings become more obvious as the movie progresses. Nevertheless, his actions have repercussion that cause his revenge kick to make everyone involved turn bloodthirsty and insane. The Count, the movie's antagonist, is even more interesting and his juggling of his divorce and custody battle over his son with the death of his men and impending war with the Serbians provides him with the means to unravel and show a lot more humanity than most movie villains.

A kill tracker, complete with symbols to represent which faction each dead man represents, is a nice touch as well. Also pulls a Fargo by having lots of blood spilled on the white snow of rural Norway. Violent and fun!
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[Spamdini]

Remaining movie schedule:

Fri 25th: I Am a Knife with Legs

Sat 26th: Once Upon a Time in Shanghai

Sun 27th: To be Takei
Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie

Mon 28th: Guardian

Tue 29th: Boss Nigger

Wed 30th: Kung Fu Elliot

Thurs 31st: Stereo

Sun 3rd: Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno
DJ XL5's Blaxploitation Zappin' Party

Mon 4th: Frank
Wetlands

Tues 5th: That Demon Within
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[Ryoko's Biatch]

Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno is a pretty excellent title.

[Seru]

Do an extremely in depth Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie review. Also, Boss Nigger.

[Spamdini]

Will do! I'm fairly certain Boss Nigger can be streamed in its entirety though.
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[Seru]

I like reading about movies more than I like watching them.

[Magic Juan]

I'd go see Boss Nigger with you on tuesday but I am literally out of money.

I probably could have posted this on facebook but w/e

[Spamdini]

That's the note you're leaving Montreal on?
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[Spamdini]

I Am a Knife With Legs (USA)
***1/2

http://fantasiafest.com/2014/en/films-schedule/129/i-am-a-knife-with-legs

A super low budget absurdist comedy about a European pop star named Bené who has a fatwa issued against him following the suicide bombing of his girlfriend and backup singer, Baguette. He holes himself up in a safe house with his manager while they ramble on about nonsense and occasionally break out into song. That is until the assassin draws near! :O

Very funny, but weighed down by a bit of overindulgence in non sequitur visual effects and shaky cinematography. After the movie, the creator admitted that he went a bit overboard post-production, though some of it did pay off in terms of good visual gags. Epileptic seizure-inducing scenes aside, the humor still stood out and both actors (creator/director Bennett Jones as Bené and fellow comedian Will Crest as his manager Beefy) played off each other fabulously. The movie included songs and music videos by Bené which were fun, if lacking in the type of memorability of other parody rock outfits like Tenacious D and Flight of Conchords. I Am a Knife With Legs should get a sequel or bigger budget remake to fulfill its true potential, but is eminently charming and enjoyable in its current form.

Note: Bennett Jones followed the movie with a Q&A session that included celeb impressions and a performance of Bené's "Sexy Love". He seems like a hilarious and genuinely cool fellow.
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