Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Big Fagot · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:05 am)

Unparalleled shit. Every line of dialogue is white hot agony. The characters' actions make no sense. There is a cameo scene that has every right to be funny and clever but the writing manages to snatch faggotiness from the jaws of not sucking shit. Every actor is fucking annoying, especially the protagonist, except possibly Abigail Breslin but I guess her too. The female lead looks permanently angry/disgusted and constantly wears heroic amounts of makeup in this post-civilization wasteland. The male lead is a fucking contemptible sad sack (of black cocks) and to not hate him is not constitutionally possible for human beings. The love story is perhaps written by an actual newborn baby. See this movie if you like giving money to people who deserve it less than Osama Bin Laden!

Big Fagot · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:10 am)

There were some visually pleasing shots of zombie destruction shot with a high speed camera but if one is honest with oneself it's not cooler or more deserving of the ticket price than any randomly chosen music video.

johnbuisthegreat · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:37 am)

I do not think I like this protagonist but apparently some people do. If I want someone who is weird looking and funny I have Andy Samberg.

Fagzilla · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:52 pm)

THE JAWS OF NOT SUCKING SHIT

Ryoko's Biatch · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:01 pm)

I liked it well enough.

It's hard to tell if Peter's opinions are worth considering because he has pretty absurd tastes in the first place and then he buries it under bizarre hyperbole. That said, I went into it with pretty low expectations because I didn't like the trailer I saw. Plus I generally enjoy zombie stuff.

Michael Cera-lite sucks, but not enough to fuck up the movie.

Big Fagot · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:00 pm)

When I first saw a trailer for this I was excited because of how much it reminded me of Vinny. Then I got a little less excited because it started to look brainless to me.

The first moment I noticed that I hated it was when Frowny Skeleton Jewfro Bitch started ad-libbing calisthenics moves to limber up and it was such a horrible caricature of an interaction between gruff and sensitive characters. It was like an alien figured out that humans laugh at men dressed as women, so it filmed a guy wearing fake boobs and high heels as he went to the store and sat on the bus. Also, that is how the whole movie was.

johnbuisthegreat · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:05 pm)

Having low expectations for movies that are "hyped" is a good thing.

Ryoko's Biatch · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:35 pm)

Zombieland is a good movie. I enjoyed the experience even if it wasn't as good as Shawn of the Dead. It's not a deep movie and it doesn't break any new ground, but if you have an hour and a half to blow, this movie isn't a bad way to spend it.

I don't know what to even say about Peter's observations because they're generally pretty trivial to me. This guy is furious that a girl would wear make-up in a movie. The main guy sucks, but I wasn't ever as annoyed by it as Peter was. The good stuff, to me, out-weighed the bad. I would watch this movie again!

ALDP · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:45 pm)

I guess when you get down to it our enjoyment of movies is pretty subjective.
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Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Theldorrin · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:19 pm)

The best thing about this thread is that it didn't have a gay title and no one commented on it before this point.
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ALDP · (Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:26 pm)

"Zombie" is when one gay guy lumbers around the room after another gay guy and when he catches him he kisses his head all over (like he's biting through to the brains) and then they both have sex however they feel like it
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato

Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Mautty · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:23 am)

I watched this movie tonight and thought it was pretty good. Emma stone has that dark hair with light eyes hottness that made up for he shitty acting. Woody is also pretty awesome and the zombie action is Great. The Jew kid did kind of suck but not enough to ruin the movie. It was a mid tier zombie movie better than the last few Romero Movies. I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Fagzilla · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:37 am)

Oddly, I didn't even think about the gay title until Theldorrin mentioned it!

Fagzilla · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:49 am)

And on a different note, those of you who haven't gone out to see Zombieland yet... REALLY need to go out and see Zombieland. This is one of the funniest films I've seen in quite a while - just an instant classic. There's a number of great laughs here, not to mention one of the best movie cameos I've seen in a VERY long time. Zombieland is a fun take on the whole comedy/zombie genre - not particularly original, but so entertaining it doesn't matter. If you liked Sean of the Dead, this film is right in that same ballpark. In fact, I suspect the two will be sharing space on a LOT of cult classic double-bills in the years ahead. Don't forget the double-tap!

That's from TheDigitalBits.com~!

Fagzilla · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:50 am)

I hate the writing style on that site so much.

ALDP · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:30 pm)

If I were neurotic and hypersensitive about language I'd probably steer clear of internet review sites entirely. But I guess it's like one of those sores in your mouth that you can't stop poking even though you're drooling a torrent of blood and scraping your tongue against bone
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato

Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Fagzilla · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:03 pm)

You're neurotic and hypersensitive about me!

Fagzilla · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:06 pm)

And you're definitely right about Internet sites about movies, and the writing on them sucking in an infuriating manner.

ALDP · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:25 pm)

*reads "worth the price of admission" in a CD review*

*eyes dilate with whooshing sound like in requiem for a dream*

*unzips pants, slowly reaches inside*
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato

Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Fagzilla · (Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:33 pm)

Did I mention "worth the price of admission" at some point in the past?

If I didn't, yes, very good, exactly.

Is it *that* hard for these people to think of a different way of saying something? Or to just, say it, without reaching in and grabbing something from the pool of prefabricated phrasing that they all just subconsciously absorb from one another and regurgitate?

I don't know what it is psychologically that bugs me so much about this.

Maybe this should be my new sig.

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"Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print"
- George Orwell