Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Big Fagot · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:30 am)

Tell this thread about your fingernails, and your messages about your fingernails will be relayed through this thread to other people who will reply. Do you clip them often? How clean are they? How much of a shit do you give? How nice is your clipper and other equipment? What other maintenance do you do? Are you considerate enough to dispose of your clippings properly? Do you bite them? Do you bite the skin around your nails? Is the border between the pink and white weird anywhere, and do you clip to that shape?

What about toenails? Are your toes fucked up and asymmetric? Do you have all your toenails? How long do you clip them? Have you ever had an ingrown toenail, or other problems? Are there any in particular that by a quirk of nature just suck dick and are going to give you shit for your entire life?

ALDP · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:33 am)

I keep my fingernails pretty short. I used to do it because of guitar and now it just makes me uncomfortable to have them long. I have really good clippers where you don't have to apply a ton of pressure.

My toenails are a fucking disaster and I wish I could just walk around on fucking ankle stumps for all THE SHIT my fucking TOENAILS GIVE ME
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Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Big Fagot · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:38 am)

I clip my fingernails and toenails meticulously and frequently. I can't stop butchering them until they're perfect. At any given time my nails are a millimeter or two in length. The shape of the skin underneath is weird in a couple of places; I typically cut as though they were correct, as if to fix them through topiary, but sometimes I do it wrong, then change tactics and cut in the shape of the border. I always collect every single clipping and throw it away, which is why I feel entitled to groom myself in whatever living room I happen to be in at that moment. As for toenails, I cut them similarly short, but I wonder if that's actually the best way to do things; I sometimes get a bit of pain in my toes when running, like the nail is digging into my flesh. I once shared a hotel room with a guy who seemed to have never cut his toenails, and the nails were all curled down around the front of the toe. That's a bit extreme but maybe there's a smidgen of good practice in there, something to be learned about not abusing your toenails by clipping them to nothing.

Theldorrin · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:40 pm)

Why don't you just get manicures?

Fagzilla · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:45 pm)

I keep my fingernails pretty good, and I'm basically disgusted when I see too much WHITE on a man's nails. I actually like fingernails on women to be the same length as men's, but that definitely isn't or ever been the style, so I don't expect that from any of them.

9 out of my 10 toenails are alright, but my left BIG TOENAIL has major problems. It's not ingrown or anything, it's just all crumbly and discolored on one side. I can pretty much cut it down to the end on that side, and then it grows back all thick and fucked up. I don't know what to do about it, and it's exactly the cocksucker of the kind that Big Fagot was referring to. I have a feeling that bitch will never be clear and normal again. I kind of want to dissolve it and start over.

Feet are a horrible nightmare.

Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:28 pm)

I stopped biting my nails when I worked with animals, but now I'm back to biting them again.

I really hate having my nails long. They inevitably break, tear, or crack after reaching a certain length, so once you eliminate one of them it looks stupid to have just one or two short nails and the rest are long.

I try to keep on top of the toenail situation. The clippings go flying in all directions so I don't bother to go hunting for them, and figure they'll get picked up during the next vacuuming. If I ever use nail polish, it's only going to be on my toenails.

My two big toenails are kind of fucked up right now. They curl inward a little bit and get smaller the closer they get to the end of the toe. I'm not sure what happened to make them grow that way, because they weren't always like that. It can hurt sometimes, but I'm not sure what to do about them.
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Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:32 pm)

Also, and this is somewhat hard to describe, but it looks like my two big toenails are growing out significantly thinner than normal, and this is marked by a visible divide between the "thick" part of the nail slowly growing out, revealing the newer, thinner layer underneath.

Imagine if you put fake nails on top of your real nails, and let it grow out without taking the things off - the fake nails are still hanging on, but as they grow, the real nail grows out from underneath it, pushing the fake nail further out. That's what it looks like, except it's all real nail, just a drastic change in thickness.

I'm not sure why that happened, either!
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Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:37 pm)

The toenails of people who play sports are fucking death.

My boyfriend's feet look like god damn zombie feet. His toenails are either yellow or brownish-black, and sometimes entire toenails will just fall clean off.

The last time we went swimming I asked him why one of his toenails randomly looked normal, but upon further inspection we discovered that it was because the toenail was missing. It had just fallen off in the pool on its own. Oops!

Also, he's said he used to have to drill holes in his toenails to release blood/pressure from building up underneath them. I can't even imagine having to do something like that.
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Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:38 pm)

I have a lot to say about toenails.
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Sailor Bigglesworth · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:55 pm)

Sounds like a fungal infection. I have that in my right big toenail, been fighting it for years. Your boyfriend's case sounds pretty bad, you probably caught it from him.

Get some vicks vapor rub and put it on the toe each night, it's working for me, but slowly. Tea tree oil should also work, or maybe an anti-fungal soap.

Fagzilla · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:55 pm)

Wait, he drills holes in his toenails? With a fucking drill?

That's a fucking Takashi Miike movie.

Theldorrin · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:08 pm)

Morgan's life is so sickeningly disgusting.

Why can't you tell us some stories that don't make me retch?

Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:10 pm)

My toenails are fine, though. Other than the weird thickness issue, there's no discoloration or anything. It looks like it's growing itself out, so I'm not concerned, it's just weird.
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Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:11 pm)

It's not like an ELECTRIC DRILL or something like that. I've never seen it myself, but I guess it's some kind of tool especially for something like that. Toe drilling. I have no idea.
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Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:13 pm)

Go make a tea party thread or something, Theldorrin.

If you didn't want to be disgusted, why would you bother looking at a topic about FINGERNAILS/TOENAILS?
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ALDP · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:14 pm)

I clip my nails by tearing them off fully with my own teeth and hooting animalisticly after I spit them across the room. I do this once a month except when I get in the habit of gnawing on my bloody infected cuticles, which obviously slows the nails down.
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"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato

Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Theldorrin · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:21 pm)

Nails don't have to be super revolting!

I can be fine reading a thread about feet, but if someone mentions that video of Richard Stallman picking something off his feet and eating it, then that's definitely retching territory.

Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:24 pm)

It's not like I'm not revolted by his toenail issues or anything, but it's too awful to keep to myself.

Luckily he has socks on 99% of the time, so I can try to forget about it.
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ALDP · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:33 pm)

Does he have a condom on them when he shoves them all the way up your vagina and butt as part of sexplay?
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato

Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

Sporkism · (Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:39 pm)

Haha, yeah!
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