Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Rice]

Tink, tink, tink. A primitive stone tool chips away at the granite, sending plumes of dust into the air. The chalky clouds waft upwards and into the nostrils of the wielder, causing a fit of coughs and wheezes.

"Ugh, I can't believe we got saddled with this job!" It's one of the cavemen of the valley, whittling away at a solid wall. The rock outcroppings that once consituted their homes is now gone, replaced by piles of rubble and makeshift hide tents. A giant stegasaurus with a club patrols here and there, and fires burn in seemingly random spots. But the most notable features of the valley now are towering mechanisms of bone and rock, apparently plumbing the earth for something.

The caveman nearest to him pauses for a minute to wipe his sweaty, prominent brow, then looks at his neighbor.

"Don't complain, Uubu. It's better than what we had before. At least we get meat now. How many of the man-tribes can say that much?"

"Hmph...who knows if the other tribes even exist anymore. It's the dinos that are out there controlling everything, while we stay and rot in this valley! Who's to say they haven't just destroyed them all? It's not like we matter to them!"

"Shhh, the stegadons might hear you."

"Bah! What do I care?! It's not like anything ever happens around here. Why do they even need this black stuff anyways? We don't even know what it does!" He motions towards the huge, moving constructs. "They're probably just keeping us occupied while they conquer the other lands..."

"It's better than what the border patrols get. Imagine having to deal with those Tyrannos..." the neanderthal shudders. "If those idiots decide to start a war, at least we'll at least be nice and safe in this valley."

"You two! Get back to work!" One of the club wielding Stegosaurs waves his log around half-menacingly. Uubu grumbles and lodges his pick in the granite wall again. "Fucking Spike-hea-..." SUDDENLY HIS EXPLETIVE IS CUT OFF BY A MASSIVE EXPLOSION. THE ROCK FACE HE DIGS INTO COLLAPSES, CRUSHING HIM UNDER TONS OF ROCK!

"W-what the-?!" The other caveman screams. He turns around and immediately shits his pants. On the ridge of the valley stand the silhouettes of multiple towering figures. One steps forward, revealing a hideous, toothy grin. IT'S A GODDAMNED T-REX WITH LOG CANNONS STRAPPED TO HIS BACK.

"GAHHH HA HA HA HA HA!" the carnivore screams. "WE FINALLY FOUND YA!"

The T-rex motions his absurdly tiny arms forward, and the smaller shadows step into the light. It's piles upon piles of the ever-present raptor lackeys, each holding some kind of round coconut bomb. "Geh heh heh! These toys are great!" One of them throws it down at the caveman's feet, who instinctively dives for cover. It explodes, sending coconut shrapnel everywhere.

The T-Rex leader whips his tail and sends the raptor flying. "Quit it, ya bleedin' idjit! Yeh might hit the black stuff!"

The stegadon guard next to the caveman curses and slams his spiked log into the ground. "Damn...those idiots...are they trying to start a war?!" He looks at the surviving caveman and yells. "You there! What's your name?"

"N-Niknak, sir..."

"Alert the others. HURRY! We don't have much time!"

"O-Okay!" Niknak turns to run, but is cut off by one of the bandana wearing raptors. He snarls and is about to pounce, but the Stegadon slams his log into the raptor, smashing him into a pulp.

"I'll hold them off as long as I can. Find the leader of this camp, one of the Ordo Tricera!" The stegosaur turns and runs straight at the T-rex, shouting a battlecry and swinging his log straight at him. The T-Rex butts it aside with his head and snaps at the stegosaur, and they begin to battle. Niknak breaks his gaze and runs.

Chaos has broken out everywhere among the camp. Singular stegadon guards valiantly fend off the mobs of raptors, but there are too many. The occasional T-Rex can be seen firing his shoulder mounted log launchers into the air for no reason and laughing while stomping tents down. Niknak dodges dino and explosion alike, racing toward the main hut of bone and tanned leather. He bursts in only to find the Triceratops leader of the camp holding a T-rex head in one hand and his trademark axe in the other(really a sharpened rock shoved through a thick log). Scores of raptors are impaled upon his horns and his entire crest is coated red in blood. He jerks his head to the side and tons of bodies go flying off his tusks, and is about to swing his axe at Niknak when he stops.

"A human?! I couldn't even get all my armor on when I was ambushed. How is it that you've survived?!"

"A stegadon, sir-he told me to alert you we're being attacked..."

"Well, it would seem I'm aware of that already..." he grunts and cleaves a raptor behind Niknak, who is showered in blood as a result. "Do you know what happened?"

"I only know it was the Tyrannos and they blew up a sheer rock wall with some kind of strange device..."

The Three-horns stops and looks at Niknak, disturbed.

"You mean those crazed maniacs have figured out how to harness the black substance as well?!"

"I don't know, sir! I just...I don't even know why we're working here in this valley!..."

The Triceratops cuts him off. "Come with me!" Before he can respond, the Triceratops drops the T-Rex head and scoops him up, and they run outside. There are pockets of fighting everywhere. The Triceratops battles his way to one of the campfires scattered around the valley, where he grabs a flaming stick out of the bondire. Before he can do anything else however, several explosions goes off, rending his vulnerable unarmored hidequarters. The great and noble beast collapses on the ground, injured. Niknak and the dinosaur turn to see a mob of raptors, all grinning smugly and holding their primitive explosives.

"You...bastards..." the Triceratops spits, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. "I know what you're after...and you won't get it!" He glances at a nearby PLUMBING CONSTRUCT and throws the torch into it. The entire thing is instantly set ablaze, creating an impressive gout of sustained flame that spews a several hands high into the sky. The raptors instantly lose their :smug and look bewildered. The camp leader takes this time to grab another flaming stick, then turns to the human.

"It is in the direst of circumstances that I entrust you, a human with this. I cannot go on much longer. It is why I give you this...the gift...OF FIRE!"

With trembling hand, Niknak slowly reaches his hand out to take the flaming.

"But-, I'm just a mere human, what can I-..."

The characteristic air of briskness returns once again to the wounded dinosaur. "You humans underestimate yourselves...I see hidden potential in your race. My heart tells me you have a part to play in this yet...Now go to the gallimimus pens and take one of them. Ride hard, against the North Wind!" Mustering his remaining strength, he stands up, with stone blade firmly in hand. The raptors cower at this towering and noble warrior, who is shooting blood awesomely from his side. "NOW GO!" he screams, before charging forward into the mob. They throw their bombs at him, but he merely blocks it with his face crest. He screams before decapitating like half of them with his weapon, as the rest jump onto him. Niknak flees, not looking behind him, and trying to ignore the ringing battlecries in his ears. Dodging more explosions, he races toward the gallimimus pen as instructed. He is about to throw the latch open but a gigantic THREE-TOED FOOT SLAMS DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM.

"GOING SOMEWHERE?!"

IT'S THE FUCKING T-REX FROM EARLIER, HIS USUAL GRAVELLY SPEECH IMPEDED MORE BY THE FUCKING STEGOSAUR TAIL HE HOLDS IN HIS MOUTH! He spits it out and laughs at this futile mammel that stands before him.

"Heh heh, those fuckin' pussy horn faces must be more desperate than I thought if they're entrusting something like FIRE to the apes!" he somehow wipes the dripping blood from his mouth with his tiny arms and grins. "We were going to make them our slaves, but if they're consorting with types like you..." he suddenly looks deadly and bares his teeth before CHARGING FORWARD.

"DIE, ALONG WITH YOUR WEAK MASTERS!!!!"

Niknak closes his eyes. And holds the torch in front of him. "It's over," he thinks. "I wasn't able to do anything...maybe humans really are destined for nothingness after all..." He feels hot blood touch his face, and waits for the pain to end...but it isn't there. Slowly, he opens his eye and sees the face of the T-rex right in front of him, incredulous and crosseyed.

"W-What....how...the fu-..."

Niknak looks up and SEES THE FUCKING STEGOSAUR GUARD FROM BEFORE, MISSING AN EYE AND COVERED IN BLOOD AND HOLDING HIS OWN SEVERED TAIL, HAVING SLAMMED THE SPIKED END STRAIGHT INTO THE BRAINS OF THE T-REX!!! BLOOD SHOOTS OUT AND EVERYTHING AND THE T-REX IS TOTALLY PISSED AND STUPID AT THE SAME TIME.

"Fucking...how..."

The stegosaur grins and collapses. "Don't...underestimate...us..."

Frozen, the caveman can only stare at the scene of carnage he had just witnessed.

The stegosaur opens his one good eye and looks at the him.

"Go...there isn't much time...take the Gallimimus...take the gift of fire to the northern encampments...they will know what to do..." With that he dies and it's really sad.

With nothing left here, he saddles a dino steed and rides far, away from the valley and against the Northwind.

[Spamdini]

Holy cow!

[Rice]

"Hmmmm...it is a grave situation indeed." The strong, recognizable voice of one of the Ordo Tricera echoes throughout the dark chamber. A fire kept in check by a crude open grate blazes in the middle of the room, barely illuminating the occupants. Around the flame stand cloaked figures, but their Akatsuki-like silhouettes are betrayed by anyone who ever looked at a dinosaur book as a kid. The speaker, standing upright and tall, is somewhat slender compared to his usual pumped up bretheren. Next to him is a brontosaur, his pebbly skin aged and weathered by the years. He also has a long, grey beard which he strokes as he gazes into the fire, a feat which could be considered impressive considering he has no fingers. He clears his throat and speaks, a slightly raspy, weary thing.

"It is true this has never been encountered before by the Dinosty. A human..."

His thoughts are cut off by the snorting of the one nearest to him; a stegosaur similarly robed.

"Human?! Bah, this ape, this mammel comes to us bearing the Gift and we are to believe his outrageous story?! Pteh!" He spits in the fire, and although the dinoloogie is sizeable, the mighty flame does not recede. "When this Council actually had power, he would've been executed already."

"Wo ho ho ho ho!" comes a high, almost cruel cackle from above. Perched upon a post is a pteradactyl which apparently has no trouble flying despite having a robe on. When it speaks, it is a female voice and it has boobs too, so you know it's a girl. "It is most interesting, isn't it?..." she covers her mouth with a wing to prevent giggling again. "Such strange rumors and events happening altogether all of a sudden. Breeding so much strife..."

"Hmph," rumbles a slow, low lump. It raises its head and reveals the armored visage of an Aklyosaur. "Is that all you think about, harlot? Fornication.."

"Kukuku...do not mock things you have yet to experience, shelled one!"

At this, the Anklyosaur raises his TAIL CLUB, but the wise old brontosaur extends a limb.

"STOP! Acting like raptors, you are, bickering amongst yourselves...What about you, Agrommon? What do you have to say of this matter?"

A gigantic head, previously bowed and deep in thought, raises and looks at each of the council in turn. It appears to be a T-rex, but somewhat smaller...smaller and less ravenous. It's its cousin, the Allosaur.

"His story does seem strange...but these are strange times...why don't we hear his testimony?" he motions toward the back of the room, where a terrified Niknak sits, shivering.

A Spinosaur, looking ridiculous with his sail completely under his robe, turns and looks at him with a puzzled look. "Agrommon, you would get the opinion of this...rodent? Can it even speak?"

"I have heard the slaves talking. They speak quite eloquently when not frightened half to death by our presence..."

"Hah! The gutter language of livebirthers, no doubt, it's probably just gibberish..."

"I-I can speak!"

The room gasps and turns at the caveman, who has stood resolutely. Although he shakes still, he clutches the flaming stick tight in his hand and looks defiantly at these giants.

"I...I will tell you the story!"

[Vinny]

Dinotsuki is an awesome concept.

[Mautty]

What the fuck is a brontosaur is something like a Apatosaurus?

[Big Fagot]

Mautty just fucking beat the ass of everyone in the world.

[Big Fagot]

As long as the topic's been broached, the dinosaur boss in Gantz was a Brachiosaurus or possibly an Ultrasaurus.

[Rice]

You fucking faggots. I knew someone would point that out. It's okay that the dinosaurs talk, wear clothes, and somehow live in the same time period, but it's not okay that I chose an archaic name for something because it sounded funnier.

[Rice]

"So...that's it, then." Niknak finishes. He looks at the comparative titans for approval, acknowledgement, or anything-but he the only sound in the chamber is the crackle of the fire. Finally, Agrommon speaks.

"Well...now that we have the details we may reach a consensus."

The Stegosaur makes a derisive snort and slams his fist on the round table(the fire was in the center of this).

"By the laws of our ancestors, he should be executed!" He looks around for agreement.

The Anklyosaur waves a careless, boulder-sized paw. "Yes, perhaps it is for the best. After all, we haven't received any other word from the outpost-"

"That's because they're all dead! I was the only one left!" Niknak interjects. As they look at him, he is as surprised as they are. The Pteradactyl bitch cocks a brow, but it's too dark for it to really matter.

"Oh...the little one has spirit!"

The Triceratops draws a sideblade(which is basically the size of Niknak's body) and takes a step forward, looking at the wizened Brontosaur. "Shall I take care of this upstart for his rudeness, Elder?!"

The old Brontosaur breathes in and out slowly, then raises a tired hand. "Do the laws not also state that the dinosaur race should live in harmony? That no dinosaur should war against one another? What this human tells us, backed up by reports from our own men, is that the Tyrannos have fallen from any sort of diplomatic state. His description of the Tyrannosaur's armaments is consistent with their rapid technological progress. Let us not carelessly waste this valuable being..." he ignores the incredulous looks of the others," and focus on the real danger. This is a threat we cannot ignore..."

"But, Elder..." the Stegosaur whines. "Justice must be served!"

"We will only be able to deal justice when we are fit to administer it! When dino stops war against brother dino!"

The Elder's heavy words resonate throughout the darkness.

The Allosaur looks up.

"Then what does this mean, Elder? What do you propose?"

[Yogurtman]

I'm glad you are writing this and all, but what the heck does Thrak do between PPVs? Just wander around and club stuff?

[Rice]

Ominous drums of dubious exotic region beat, letting the reader know of a change in scenes. Sickly green torches burn in dark rock hallways supported by enormous bones, and uncertain shapes squirm in the corners and recesses(it's probably velociraptors fucking). A single large, but haunched figure struts it way through the corridors with surprising agility and quiet. The emerald flames doing nothing to display its features. It marches down a few hallways before coming to a stop where the hallway turns. Peering around the corner, it sees an enormous rock-and-gem studded door flanked by two Dilophosaur elites. The shadow sneers at their armored, flashy crests and melts into the surrounding shadow.

---

We now see a large antechamber, still swathed in green light and built on the bones of the deceased dinos. An enormous throne is in the middle of the room, with an appropriately enormous dinosaur occupying it. It's a titanically large Tyrannosaurus Rex, but this one is unlike the assholes we've seen so far. It is morbidly obese and yellow, draped in Roman-style(if a Dino Rome had existed at this point) toga and a laurel made out of, you know, giant dino weed or something. His fat is insane; it's apalling that a reptile could even reach such mass. Folds of stored fat drape over the arms of the chair, and the T-Rex is practically in a laying position, his tail whipping about dreamily. Two sexy lady dinosaurs fan him with glowing blue ferns and a drooling raptor with a gimp leg hobbles towards him with a covered platter.

"S-S-S-Snack time, my l-l-lord..."

The fatass T-Rex claps his hands together and purses his mouth in delight.

"Ooh! What is the treat for today??"

The raptor immediately removes the cover, revealing detestable, slithery things that look like Surinam Toads except they're probably half the size of a human.

The T-Rex gasps gaily and reaches for one, examining it. He looks at the raptor peon and gives a look of absolute adoration. "You shouldn't have!"

Without wasting a moment, he pops the toad in his mouth and it disappears instantly. He then reaches out with previously unseen speed and snatches the entire plate up, dumping the entire thing in his mouth. He rubs his belly and licks his lips, letting out an exhultant sigh.

"You never fail to disappoint, my lovely." As a reward, he lets out a huge belch which causes the sexy dino ladies to recoil for a moment, and the raptor bows.

"T-Thank you, O Great Tyrant Lizard..." he stammers as he begins to hobble for the enormous double doors. They violently burst open when he reaches them, flattening him against the wall with a splat. Inside marches a huge T-Rex, but not fat like the DINO KING. He is powerfully muscled and insane looking. Uncharacteristic of the Tyrannos, this one is wearing an almost elegant armor: a Roman-style legionnaire's segmenta cuirass. A crimson cape adorns his shoulders, which are also unlike any previously seen T-Rex's . Instead of having two comically useless appendages, this dinosaur has full on guns. His are gorilla-like in both form and proportion; under the scales shift powerful muscles, and his knuckle-claws nearly drag on the floor. His walk, however, is far from simian; he confidently strides forward unaided by his forelimbs and instantly kneels before the King. I guess he has a black goatee too, like Kratos.

"My Lord! The Southern Valley has fallen."

The T-Rex seems to barely even notice this intrusion, instead savoring the dino hookah that was just wheeled out for him.

"Hmmm? Refresh my memory as to what its...ahh...strategic importance was..."

"My Lord, the Southern Valley was long suspected of housing rich deposits of the precious black substance known as oil. I sent a regiment to take the area; although we faced unexpected resistance there, we managed to surprised the Dinosty outpost members present and take the area under a single sun."

The fat piece of shit is looking at his nails. He seems to forget, then remember the T-Rex is still standing there.

"And this 'oil'....it...?"

"It is an incredibly powerful fuel source, my Lord. We are unable to create it in the slave labs, but there seems to be plenty of it under the earth. Our technosaurs have been able to make unprecedented advancements in weapons research with it. Though the Dinostic Alliance is superior in number and fight well with the Three-Horns leading them in battle, these new weapons should give us the edge we need. We are planning the attack of Dinotopia right now. We just-..."

King Rex looks up and squints one eye at the badass. "Just what, General?"

For the first time the General averts his gaze and hesistates. "We just need...a few more...resources." His eyes flicker to the pile of debauchery around the King. "We understand that His Majesty is entitled to his luxuries, but it is difficult to allocate the current remainder to all of our most pressing matters."

"More pressing than the welfare of your King?" Fattosaurus asks.

"Of course not, Lord, I-" the General begins.

"You will make do with what you have...begone."

The General seems to grit his formidable teeth at this, but oblidges nonetheless and bows, swiftly vacating the area.

As the doors slide shut behind him, a soft but deadly voice whispers in the King's ear.

"He is powerful indeed, but I know his weak point...are you certain to place your trust so fully in one such as he?"

The King loses his carefree demeanor for a moment upon hearing this, but then regains his composture. He waves a hand absentmindedly.

"Girls...leave me." The sexy dinosaur ladies nod and promptly exit.

The King seems to sweat a little bit, but keeps his resolve and stares forward.

"We're alone now. Show yourself."

Disengaging from the shadows, the hidden figure slides up to the foot of the throne, where it bows; unlike the General's flawless respect, this seems almost a sign of mockery.

The King seems simultaneously relieved and put out by this new dinosaur's presence.

"What is it? Make it quick...I have other matters to attend to."

"Oh, I'll be brief...I just wanted to discuss a simple matter."

"And that is?"

"I seem to have accomplished what your beloved General was unable to..."

"?!"

"Yesss...I seem to have uncovered the hidden location of the Royal Dinosty capital, Dinotopia!"

"Y-You!"

"Indeed...so close, so close you are to victory...and yet..."

"Well?! Get on with it then! Where is it?!"

"Tut, tut...I cannot reveal that yet..."

"Why on Terra not?!"

"Because...there is one that knows..."

"What are you going on about!"

"Someone escaped the slaughter at the Southern Valley...the attack your esteemed General executed so sloppily..."

"Who-?!"

"Oh, no one of consequence...although he could be. An ape- a mere human. They know of the treachery, the Dinosty does..."

"WHAT! Then what'll you..."

"Kuku...I'll complete what the General was unable to do. Inform your beloved commander. Tell him to hold off the attack until I return...successful where he failed."

"Wait! You're going to?!..."

"Yessss..."

"Why?! You actually expect me to compensate, even trust you?!"

"Oh no...the carnage I sown will be reward enough in itself!"

With that, the dinosaur recedes, leaving the King alone with cackling echoes.

[Rice]

Yeah, I'm trying to build up to that. I'll put some SNIPPETS of the present time here and there.

[Rice]

The cage-cart that holds Thrak prisoner slowly makes its way across the wastes, coming to a large bunch of rocks, with what seems to be a cave entrance at the foot. The sun burns overhead and the raptor goons are visibly relieved at the fact they will be out of the heat soon. The procession is a miniature caravan of sorts; Thrak is not the only one held prisoner. Other cage-carts follow, making their way into the darkness. FOTNS-style peasants are held in the cages, where they huddle and generally look pathetic and sad.
Thrak's cage-cart breaks off from the rest, which seem to lead deeper into the caverns where the faint echoing of machinery can be heard. Thrak's cart instead goes straight, further back into the lair. Various dinosaurs snarl at the prone Thrak's body, but go on about their various duties. The odd thing, however, is that dinosaurs of opposing factions are grouped here. Something seems to have happened in history to make them stop killing the shit out of each other...

The raptor goons push Thrak's cart up to a BIG BONE THRONE, where the door is lifted and his unconscious body is thrown out. He lands at clawed feet and two lackeys spring forward to chain him to the ground. Someone pours a bucket of water on him and he immediately springs to his feet, but finds struggles as he is unable to do anything except look around. His eyes regain focus and he finds himself staring right at the ugly mug of a T-Rex. This one seems familiar, he thinks...but is too exhausted and pained to remember. He contents himself with staring defiantly at it. The T-Rex grins, baring its bear trap of a mouth and laughs.

"HEH HEH HEH! WE MEET AGAIN, APE! THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY, HUH?!"

Thrak recoils slightly at its putrid breath, but steels himself and continues staring at the dino. T-Rex begins to pace back and forth, looking at Thrak like he's some kind of police interrogator.

"Heh heh heh...it doesn't matter, mammel. It doesn't matter if you cross continents, or even time periods...we'll find you. The supremacy of the Reptites is...uh...supreme. And I still have to pay you back for this..." he somehow manages to point one of his four fingers at his eye, revealing a scar running vertically over it.

Suddenly Thrak remembers. The T-Rex that tried to steal his plans! The dinosaur notes his look of comprehension and laughs again.

"THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ME! AND IT'S TIME TO PAY YOU BACK!" He rears back and punches Thrak in the stomach, but since he has silly T-Rex arms it doesn't do anything. The dinosaur pauses for a second, then continues to laugh his retarded laugh.

"STILL HANGING IN THERE, HUH?! Hmph, fine. We don't want you to die quickly..."

Thrak looks up and spits.

"How did you get to this era?!"

"Heh heh heh...so the ape didn't lose his voice after all! It's quite simple, warmblood. After all, we did have...THIS!" He waves at a nearby curtain, which is drawn aside by a raptor. Behind it sits an ordinary-looking log on a pedestal, which is about big enough for one man to sit on. Thrak gasps, then thrashes in his bindings to escape. The bump on his forehead seems to resonate slightly.

"T-TIME LOG!" he stammers, as he struggles to break free.

"HAH HAH HAH, THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S NO USE, APE! WE HAVE IT NOW AND YOU'RE TRAPPED HERE!"

"You dinos managed to figure out how to move it backwards as well?"

"Well, no, but-....SHUT UP!!" the T-Rex screams, and punches Thrak in the stomach again. "TAKE HIM AWAY!"

To Thrak's later annoyance, he is hit on the back of the head again, losing consciousness. When he comes to, he wakes up in a different cell. He gets up and looks around, and sees the gang leader from earlier whipping a child. This seems to be where the prisoners from earlier were headed.

"Ugh, it's disgusting...that bastard, allying himself with these fucked up things..." comes a voice from the corner. Thrak turns around and sees a woman with a look of strong resolve on her face. She glares at the ganger with the upmost of revulsion, then looks at Thrak.

"You look like you can take care of yourself. How'd they get you?"

Thrak does not understand this advanced tongue, instead resorting to hoots and jumps for communication.

"Time Log! Time Log!" he screams.

"Not big on brains though, are you? That's alright. Listen, I was planning on escaping and it's a good thing you came along, because I need the muscle. I don't know where these dinosaur things came from or what they want, but we need to tell everyone in Neo America what the hell is going on down here. You in?"

Thrak stops his screeching and looks at the woman, comprehending for the first time. He nods and rapes her.

[Big Fagot]

upmost

[Mautty]

Thrak is awesome!

[Rice]

Flames flicker in the deep dungeon, casting long and fleeting shadows onto the cavern walls. Thrak stares thoughfully out of the cage, while the degraded woman glares daggers at him from the corner. Thrak looks at the comings and goings of the slaves, noting the shift changes and guard patrols. He would've set his plan in motion, but the girl in the cage with him is being too loud. He doesn't understand what she's so pissed about, but he wishes he had a club to hit her over the head with. Maybe then he could go over his plan in peace. He rises from his thinking position, noting a change in guard.

Maybe I should do it now, he thinks. There seem to be mostly fellow humans around here. But why would they help the dinos? His concentration is broken as the seething woman breaks the silence of the chamber.

"I don't know what the FUCK is wrong with you! Here I am, offering you a way out and you fucking rape me! Are you retarded?! Why were you naked in the first place?! Did you get caught because you were raping one of those dinosaurs? You belong right up there with them! Fuck you!" She spits.

Thrak still doesn't understand and cocks a thick brow in response. He shrugs, and turns around, noting that there is only one guard now. The other must've gone to take a piss.

The woman gets only more pissed at his ignorance, and stands up and starts straight up yelling at him.

"Are you stupid or something!? What the hell is your problem?! WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME!" She runs forward and starts flailing at him, her comparatively tiny arms beating against his retardedly thick and knotted chest.

Thrak scratches his head. Should he rape her again? Before he can make a decision, however, the lone guard yells at them.

"Hey you two! Quiet the fuck down in there! The echoing in this cave is bad enough without you driving me crazy!"

The chick turns her aggressions to the guard, her fists still laid on Thrak's chest.

"No, fuck YOU! Why'd you put me with this psycho?! Why are you holding us anyway!?"

The guard sighs, pulling his helmet down.

"God dammit" he mutters, his keys jingling as he moves toward the cage.

"Let me OUT!" the woman screams, now holding the bars and pulling on them in vain.

The guard thrusts the butt end of his spear into the cage, hitting her in the stomach and knocking the wind out of her. She groans and sinks to her knees.

"Fucking...bastards...is the whole world against me?" she whimpers, fighting back tears of frustration.

Sighing in relief, the guard begins to withdraw his spear, but finds it won't budge. He looks up and sees a massive ham-sized fist grasping the shaft! Two beady eyes shine out of the darkness of the cage at him.

"Oh shi-" the guard begins, as the spear is sucked out of his hands with frightening speed and disappears in the darkness. Before he can mutter another expletive the pointed tip FLIES OUT and impales the guard.

"S-shi.." he gurgles as blood flows freely out of his mouth. The spear withdraws, and he is pushed off as he gets caught on the iron bars of the cage.

Amazed, the woman slowly looks up at Thrak, who looks back down and smiles at her. Her eyes then dart to the keys laying at the guard's corpse. She snatches them up and unlocks the cage, running out and slamming the grate shut behind her, locking it in the process.

She whistles while twirling her keys, and throws Thrak a dirty look before grinning evilly.

"I guess I did use you after all...but there's no way I'm going to let you out, asshole." With that, she dashes off into some dark tunnel.

Thrak looks at her as she takes off and wonders what those small shiny things she used to open the cage were. Shrugging, he grasps the steel bars and bends them apart, then slips through the gap.

"I wonder how long before the raptors get her," he wonders.

[Big Fagot]

Surinam toads look like toads that have been run over by cars.

[Rice]

They are gross.