Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Jason]

ROAST BEEF

The unlikeliest of heroes (forget what I said about Vinny before), Roast Beef was able to defeat Luigi and, despite his best efforts, was unable to be killed by Darth Vader. Following that, in a match that easily could have concluded a Great Outdoor Fight, Roast Beef pulled out a stunning victory over Rice's Father in the second round.

VEGETA

The Prince of the Saiyans fells to Phoenix Wright and Gregory House in the first round, however, they've both been defeated and the dark horse still fights with every bit of anger in his heart. Vegeta forced his way back into the tournament in the wild card round by mercilessly destroying Travis Touchdown, laughing while he decapitated him. In the second round, Vegeta faced a very equally matched opponent in Psycho Mantis and... they haven't stopped battling!

PSYCHO MANTIS

Mantis' psychic powers enabled him to begin the tournament through no less auspicious means than murdering a god, Olódùmarè. When he faced the previously washed-out Vegeta in the second round, he may have underestimated him just a bit, as Vegeta went Super Saiyan and was able to score a few devastating attacks on Mantis before he was able to activate his psychic defense. Mantis can read his opponents' minds, and it would take some kind of brilliant tactician to overcome that power...
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[LexysaurusRex]

Vegeta

[Magic Juan]

Roast Beef.

[Action Hank]

The Roman Coliseum is packed with crazed battle enthusiasts from around the world, excited to watch the third round of the great FTU World tournament. The building has been repaired, the floor replaced and packed with dirt.

Vegeta floats in the air at one of the entrances, impatiently waiting for the other competitors to arrive. He mumbles to himself, remembering his last battle with Psycho Mantis. "How could I have tied with such weak scum? I am the Prince of all Saiyans."

Another gate opens, and Psycho Mantis walks in, confident in his upcoming victory. He can control and read minds, and we know how powerful that is.

Even before the final gate can open and meek Roast Beef can make his forced entrance (it took hours just to pry him out of bed), Vegeta rushes for an attack, stopping midair in front of Psycho Mantis and lets out a Ki blast. But Psycho Mantis reads the attack, and using his telekinesis, is able to redirect the energy blast back at Vegeta. The Saiyan warrior cannot dodge the reversal, and is knocked backwards.

"It was foolish of you to use such a powerful attack," Psycho Mantis says. "Something 100 times weaker would have defeated me. Now you have only defeated yourself."

Vegeta curses and picks himself up. The attack was too powerful, but the prince is strong and arrogant and rushes forward with another attack. This time with fists. IT CONNECTS AND THE COLISEUM RUMBLES FROM THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF RELEASED ENERGY. The dirt fills the air, creating a cloud of dust. When it clears, only one of the warriors is left standing.

It is Psycho Mantis! Vegeta lays slumped over, his face covered in blood and shattered bone. Psycho Mantis had taken control of Vegeta's attack, having read the attack, and forcing Vegeta to punch himself in the face!

The referee, Judge Mills Lane, who sits in a metal cage chained a hundred feet above the Coliseum, counts Vegeta out.

The audience, excited by the battle, now grows impatient as they wait for Roast Beef to show up---

Meanwhile, backstage, the cat nervously smokes a cigarette. Ray, his arm in a cast from his failed battle, tries to cheer his friend up. "Dude, you don't have to be all afraid of that guy. Yeah, he has all sorts of crazy powers, but look at him. Dresses like he doesn't know he's a dude."

"Man, I don't know. This guy is all David Copperfield minus the camera tricks and like you've been drinking a bottle of white lightning, where you don't get drunk, you just skip straight to the hangover."

An angry-looking official comes over with a clipboard. "Either get out there, or you're disqualified."

"Aw, I can't be disqualified. Molly will think I'm all without my man parts and she'll go seeking the arms of some burly guy with a tattoo for each girl he's banged so he looks like some Where's Waldo picture. But instead of finding Waldo, you find a chick he's banged."

At last Roast Beef enters the Coliseum. He smokes a cigarette and then drops it on the ground.

Suddenly Psycho Mantis's head begins to convulse. "Oh no! OH NO! SHIIIIIIIT!" He gets down to his knees and tries to find his breath. He has difficulty, and slumps over. "The darkness..." he whispers. "Such---circumstances."

The winner by depression is Roast Beef!!!!

[RPtotheMax]

Psycho Mantis

[Ryoko's Biatch]

"This is it, Mantis," Vegeta cackles, charging up his Final Flash.

"Oh man dogg this is hell of bad shit going down," Roast Beef says, rocking on his side in the fetal position.

Psycho Mantis presses his forefingers against his temple, reaching into his vast psychic well of powers then raises his arms. Two spheres of light radiate out of his palms, floating one each toward his opponents. Vegeta smirks, letting the ball hit him in the face, knowing no attack could harm him.

"Fool!" Roast Beef yells out. "You'll never stop the Prince of Saiyans!"

"Oh no what the hell dogg," Vegeta mumbles and falls out of the sky. When he hits the ground, his body curls ever deeper into the fetal position until it ceases to exist.

"No! My body!" Roast Beef shouts, "What have you done?"

"I switched your minds," Psycho Mantis laughs. Then he walks up to the cat and kicks it to death.

[Seru]

Mantis.

[Spamdini]

Psycho Mantis: So Vegeta, like to play Nintendogs.

Vegeta: WHAT?!

Psycho Mantis: You like My Littlest Pet Shop.

Vegeta: How do you know that shit?!

Psycho Mantis: Ho ho ho! I can read your every move.

Vegeta: THEN READ THIS FUCKER!

Vegeta creates a ki blast that is a mile wide. Psycho Mantis can only shit himself as his foresight shows the blast mowing him over no matter how fast he hovers away. Once Mantis is reduced to ashes, Vegeta turns his attention to Roast Beef.

Vegeta: Ha ha ha! Tremble before the King of Saiyans!

Roast Beef: Damn dogg how is it that you stay happy when Goku is always whipping your ass

Vegeta: Tch!

Roast Beef: Becoming some new type of Super Saiyan whenever you get close to him gotta be mad depressing

Vegeta: Sh-shut up! That's why I take Paxil! It keeps me from constantly bitching and moaning about Kakarott! Now let us battle!

Roast Beef: Naw I ain't able to fight on account of all my problems

Pause.

Roast Beef (with wide-open eyes): BRAIN PROBLEMS

Vegeta: Then you die!

Roast Beef: Uh like is it cool if my buddy Ray fights in account of him being the GOF champ and all

Vegeta: Heh, I look forward to dethroning your champion!

Ray:

Vegeta explodes. Roast Beef wins.
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[Mike Dunn]

Roast Beef

[Vinny]

Those stories were fantastic.

Roast Beef
_________________

[My Head Hurts 90]

Roast Beef

[Servbot]

Psycho Mantis

[Potatoes]

Psycho Mantis

[Seika]

Psycho Mantis

[Derek Payne]

Psycho Mantis

[MisfitMan]

Psycho Mantis

[Theldorrin]

Roast Beef

[Spamdini]

Ace's story was particularly good. But Roast Beef ain't got no punctuation, man!
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[Sporkism]

roast beef

[Sporkism]

He has punctuation on occasion.

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