Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Jason · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:08 am)

PICTURE THE FIGHT
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

My Head Hurts 90 · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:30 am)

Vinny!

Reckon your strength!

MADali · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:31 am)

Jason · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:40 am)

Rice and Vinny get a minute to recover (or desperately shit) as Derek is driven away in an ambulance. Heaving, they look at one another, bloodied and beaten, and clench their fists. Vinny tears his shirt off, baring his bruised and hairy barrel chest, and wipes his gurgling asshole with it. Rice recoils at the stench, but takes his most powerful kung fu stance.

Rice dashes at Vinny, who throws his shit-stained shirt at the young Chinese prodigy's head. Rice deftly avoids it and leaps into the air, about to land a flying kick on his opponent's chin. Vinny blocks the foot and Rice lands with his back on the ground, quickly kicking two feet in the air defensively. Vinny grabs the second kick, holding Rice by the ankle, and swings him around and around. Rice is powerless against the centrifugal force of the swing until Vinny launches him away like Mario throwing Bowser in a Super Mario 64 boss fight. Rice attempts to straighten himself in the air and lands in a crouch, skidding backward and leaving a streak carved into the ground from his heels.

With a curious jump, Rice gets back to his feet and takes stance again, but this time Vinny smirks.

"What~?!" thinks Rice, and turns around to see Vinny's towel coming back at him! It was a plot by Vinny, the shit would harden on the rag and curve it like a boomerang, thereby reversing its course! It's flying back toward Rice at an incredible speed and the martial artist bends himself back like Neo dodging bullets in The Matrix. The shit-boomerang flies over him, less than an inch above his flat Asian nose - had he been Caucasian, it would have mutilated his face! Vinny sees that Rice has dodged and shouts how impossible it is, but is unable to get away. The boomerang catches Vinny's throat in its curve and Vinny is forced backward at over sixty miles per hour until he is pinned by the boomerang in a nearby mountain. He tries desperately to free himself, but the towel is embedded too deeply. Vinny is helpless, and Rice is racing his way, laughing.

When he gets within ten yards of Vinny, Rice leaps off of the ground and into the air, becoming a small black dot on the hanging sun. He's going to come down on top of Vinny in a killing blow. Vinny's eyes dart around, trying to come up with anything to save himself.

!!

He has it!

"Morgan, my shit-sister, come to me!!" he screams. From the horizon, Morgan runs to Vinny's aid, leaving a trail of shit and vomit behind her.

"Morgan," says Vinny, as Rice's silhouette draws nearer and nearer, "I can't escape! I can only... count... on you!!"

Nodding gravely, Morgan knows what she must do. She takes a step back and does a roundhouse kick to the boomerang, pushing it further into the mountain, past Vinny's neck!! Morgan has decapitated Vinny!!

From Vinny's open neckhole erupts a furious geyser of body-shit. With only seconds remaining, Vinny picks up his head and crams it back onto his neck. Rice is descending, his feet are literally on fire as he careens through Earth's atmosphere. Vinny pushes Morgan to safety and lines up his shot...

His teeth are clenched as he struggles to keep his head on his neck against the unstoppable torrent of shit spewing out of him.

Now!!

Vinny releases his head, propelled forth faster than the speed of sound from the hot, steamy eruptions of shit bursting forth from his neck. His head flies past Rice's foot and he has just enough time to smile at Rice before both of their foreheads collide in an ULTIMATE KNOCKOUT. The force of Vinny's head cracks Rice's skull into a million pieces, and his brains and eyeballs explode like fireworks.

Rice's body falls to ground, followed by Vinny's head. The world is graying from Vinny's eyes now, but he can still make out his own headless body collapsing on top of Rice's and covering him. From somewhere, a referee runs into the scene and slaps his palm to the ground, amid a thick puddle of shit and blood, three times. Vinny's body has pinned Rice's body.

Vinny's head nods, and he closes his eyes... he thinks of his mother and how she will survive without him, growing as an independent person... he thinks of MisfitMan, who will carry on his legacy as a champion wrestler...

Vinny knows the world will be the better with his passing, so he smiles as the world fades away around him... Maybe he will have a better one... in the next life...

My vote goes to Vinny.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

cloacal kiss · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:47 am)

I'm voting Rice before I read that story, although the phrase "Morgan, my shit-sister, come to me!" that I caught makes me wonder if I'll REGRET IT.

Ryoko's Biatch · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:53 am)

Vinny

Action Hank · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:55 am)

Vinny rushes at Eric, but Rice kicks out Vinny's legs and knocks him to the ground, where Eric punches him in the head rapidly three times. Vinny gets up, but his equilibrium is lost before Eric breaks his nose with his knuckles, and then roundhouses Vinny back to the ground.

Vinny would be angry, but his jaw is broken and his brain is jostled, so he has no clue what is going on. Eric presses his knee into Vinny's side, grabs Vinny's arm and breaks his elbow with a punch. Then he tears out Vinny's throat for good measure.

Because even a giant drunken brawler cannot beat someone who has trained in martial arts nonstop for like a year.

Eric

cloacal kiss · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:03 am)

Shut up you fucking garbage

Jason · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:08 am)

No, you must shut up!
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

cloacal kiss · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:14 am)

(2:05:37 AM) SansJason: Ace's story is such garbage I'm going to count the OPPOSITE of his vote, and give it to Vinny!

Vinny · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:37 am)

Jason's story was great. I'd type one up too, but I'm posting from my cell phone.

Me.
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Jason · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:41 am)

(2:05:32 AM) fistanarius: Say something that is untrue.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

cloacal kiss · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:44 am)

(2:05:34 AM) SansJason: "I'm straight" now check out this true thing about Ace's story that I'm gonna type in 3 seconds

Jason · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:49 am)

(2:05:38 AM) fistanarius: I GAY
(2:05:40 AM) fistanarius: I GAY SO MUCH
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Username · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:52 am)

cloacal kiss · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:53 am)

JASON I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE

Jason · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:54 am)

Relax, no one believes that such a baby can actually write.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

FancyMichael · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 2:47 am)

Vinny

johnbuisthegreat · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:30 am)

bitter gigatron · (Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:48 am)

Rice staggers to his feet in the seemingly endless junkyard using an exhaust pipe as a makeshift crutch.. With one eye battered shut he surveys the landscape of rusting metal and dogshit and Vinny shit. Seeing Derek impaled through the back of a Ford Escort which he was there to inquire about, he quickly realizes he's no longer a threat to anyone. Then he notices the bottom half of a bifurcated Vinny. Quickly, he dumps it into the nearby press machine, then he spots the torso. Grabing onto one of the thousand belts attached to him, he flings the bloody hillbilly's top half into deadly press aswell. He presses the ON button as he sighs at the compactor.

Turning to his Chinese comrades lead by Yao Ming and Matt Outland, he nods and whispers "My fellow slants, we are FREE!" As the Chinese line up single file to leave Yao approaches our hero and hands him a gift. The greatest and highest honor any Chinaman could hope for...."Here" handing Rice a paper mache Chinese Dragon head "I would be honored if you lead us out" Doning the costume dragon head he comically and ludicrously leads his people back to Hong Kong....to be continued..