Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:30 pm)

The legend of the Wailing Woman probably found its way into Mexican folklore by way of the Aztec goddess Cihuacohuatl, also known as Teoyaominqui or Quilaztil, the snake woman who bore twins and cares for the dead.

While there are different versions of the myth, The Wailing Woman is usually a ghost mourning the loss of her child, whom she sometimes carries with her as she terrorizes men outside pubs and pharmacies late at night. She wears a cloak over her head, and anybody who attempts to converse with her (as most Mexican men will with a lone woman) catches a glimpse of the hideous skull she keeps hidden under the cloak and instantly falls dead.

In the post-Conquistidor world of Aztecs, Spaniards, and the Aztec-Spaniard blend we have come to know as mautty, there were powerful and soul-crushing class distinctions based on ethnicity. It was not uncommon for a Spanish man to settle with an Aztec woman for some time and father children with her, only to leave on a whim and marry a more suitable Spanish woman. A popular version of the Wailing Woman story is that she is the ghost of one of these Aztec women who went so mad with jealousy when her prospective Spanish husband left her that she drowned the child she bore him and went running and screaming into the street. The Spanish man, upon hearing of this, committed suicide. Since then, her ghost randomly pops up on street corners waiting for a man to kill.

My friend Alex was driving home from work one night, very depressed about nothing particular. He occasionally has these episodes, and he is always very pleased to share because he's desparate for attention. Anyway, on this particular night, he was sobbing visciously at the wheel of his girlfriend's 2007 Volkswagon Beetle when he spotted an elderly black woman on the street crying just as hard as he was and waving to get his attention. He picked up the hitchiker and (as they cried together) brought her to what he believed to be her house. He also gave her twenty dollars because he "felt bad for her." For some reason, he went inside with her (he denies engaging in or attempting sexual intercourse with her), where he found several African American males selling crack cocaine. He gave them twenty dollars because he "wanted to smoke crack cocaine." He proceeded to smoke the crack cocaine, in the company of his new friends, but none of them participated.

He is vague on what happened after that. Presumably he left, went to his house and could not sleep, and then called me the next morning to tell me all about it while shaking feverishly.

Since he told me about this, I have seen this woman twice, both times while Alex was in the front seat of my car. She is decrepit and pathetic. She floats along the street like an apparition. She spots your car and howls desparately at you. And then Alex yells "DRIVE AWAY. DRIVE AWAY!!" as if he actually believes I'm going to stop and pick her up like his stupid ass did.

Now, this woman is not Mexican. I have never seen her with a baby. And Alex is still basically alive. Still, I believe I have seen the Wailing Woman of Mexican/Aztec folklore. She looked exactly like a ghost, and she screamed. Plus, I have to believe Alex's pride, dignity, and self-respect were all killed on that fateful night.

Let My Love Open The Door · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:35 pm)

I'm pretty sure that's just the plot of Harold & Maude.
_________________
If I ever want a moron's opinion you'll be the first one I ask

HAVE A NICE DAY

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:36 pm)

I already told you. He didn't have sex with her, and she (unlike Maude) was a drug-damaged homeless woman.

Mautty · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:23 pm)

I have never herd the La LLorona story told like that. Yes its a spanish man who fucks a indian woman gets her pregnant then leaves her for a spanish woman. But she haunts the river and will drag and drown kids who stay out too late. It was always a story to scare kids not to scare drunks.
_________________

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:35 pm)

Actually, it said that in the PDF file for my American Movement class. That kids were told if they wandered into the woods by themselves, the Wailing Woman would capture them, and they were afraid of her even though they didn't really know what she was or something to that effect.

Anything that implied it was supposed to scare drunks away from loose women is my own HILARIOUS spin on the tale.

But I did read about a part of the myth where some guy tries to fuck her, and he sees her skull and instantly dies.

Let My Love Open The Door · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:41 pm)

Are you sure it wasn't a kid trying to fuck her? My mom always told me scary stories to keep me from fucking elderly black women wailing on street corners.
_________________
If I ever want a moron's opinion you'll be the first one I ask

HAVE A NICE DAY

Mautty · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:42 pm)

Here in Northern New Mexico is a tale to keeps kids in at night or La Llorona will get them and drown them. We have a local tale of El Duende a midget that would cut off your ear or kill you if you stayed out too late drinking. Its kind of funny because the first time I went out drinking we saw a midget walking down a street and we freaked out.
_________________

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:59 pm)

I can't believe your culture would take the extremely awesome occurance of seeing a midget while out drinking and make it something to be afraid of.

I guess that could actually make it more awesome.

Mautty · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:02 pm)

Hey I was pretty sure he was going to cut off my ear with a big Machete. I was also like 15 and pretty wasted.
_________________

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:03 pm)

Midgets must have virtually no night life in New Mexico. Everybody runs away from them covering their ears. I mean, being a midget must be bad enough.

Mautty · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:07 pm)

Well only if your drunk 15 and for some reason El duende was your favorite story as a kid.
_________________

Mautty · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:11 pm)

Now that I think of it I was the one freaked out and everyone was laughing at me.
_________________

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:18 pm)

I bet the midget heard you and went home and felt really bad about himself for being a midget and maybe even killed himself and now his ghost roams the street riding a tiny bicycle and falling down in endearing and funny ways.

Rice · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:22 pm)

The story of La Llorona is a chilling one! It would be very scary to meet her!

L Ron Butterfly · (Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:26 pm)

Oh, and it was!

L Ron Butterfly · (Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:31 pm)

It makes me ever so sad that this thread was overlooked. I was so excited about writing it.

Sporkism · (Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:34 pm)

I think it got plenty of replies, considering what it was and who it was by.

Rice · (Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:39 pm)

*guy in polygonal space ship going "I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST TO THIS SCUUUUUUUUUUUM!" while exploding*

L Ron Butterfly · (Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:29 am)

Man, Morgan really has it in for me. I don't think I've had one even slightly VULNERABLE MOMENT in the past few months where either her or My Head Hurts didn't pounce on me.

The worst part is that the insults are always witty and clever instead of seeming like pathetic attempts at highschool position-jockeying.

If anybody knows the reason for this, email me at nakedpictures@dbzforum.lowselfesteem/eventualsuicidehopefully.

Servbot · (Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:33 am)

Welcome to my world pal.