Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Vinny]

This is MAFIA.

It takes place in the city of Pizza Pavilion in the year of 201X.

It is the story of two warring groups of players: townspeople and Mafia.

The two teams are out for one another's blood. Every Day, the group as a whole elect to kill one of their own in an attempt to reduce the number of Mafia. Every Night, the Mafia assemble in secret and pick off the townspeople, one at a time.

Townspeople earn victory when all the Mafia have been exterminated. Mafia earn victory when they are equal in number to the townspeople.

Days last for exactly forty-eight hours. As soon as a majority vote is reached in that time, the accused will be lynched immediately. If he is a townsperson, the sun immediately sets and Night begins. If he is a Mafia, the townspeople can continue to confer for the remainder of the forty-eight hours, and potentially kill another with a majority vote. There is no limit to the amount of lynching the townspeople can do within the forty-eight hours, provided that they successfully lynch Mafia each time.

Players most vote every other Day to remain playing. If not, they will drop out of game and leave the town of Pizza Pavilion. This applies to all players, regardless of roles.

Once Day is over, Night begins. At this point, Mafia are able to deliberate and tell me which one of the townspeople they want to kill. Night has a time limit of twelve hours. If the Mafia reach a unanimous decision in that time, the victim is killed and Day begins. If there is no unanimous decision, a victim with a majority vote will die.

If there is no majority vote, no one will die. Any Mafia absent for two Nights will be killed.

Night ends precisely on the Mafia's decision. Any role dependent on contacting me at Night must reach me before then.

Once a player is dead, he is allowed one ghost post. Any other posts will be deleted immediately. However, the player may continue posting in the Ghost thread. The player's role will be revealed upon death.

No form of game-related communication between non-Mafia players is allowed. If I get a whiff of it, the player who does so will be immediately killed and banned from the next game. The same penalty applies to the use of screencaps and video. This also applies to dead players - if they are caught communicating they will be banned from the next game. They may post in the ghost thread, and that is all. This game is made to be deliberated in conversation during the Day - keep it that way and it will be fun.

These are the roles of the game:

Townsperson: The default role. There are no special powers given to this role by nature. They play to survive and have one vote each Day and sleep during the Night.

Mafia: The enemy. They are disguised amongst townspeople and of an untold number. They have one public vote during the Day as townspeople and a private vote together at Night. They are told immediately who the other Mafia are.

Psychic: One person will have the townsperson role of Psychic. Every Night, save a Night he is chosen by the Mafia to be killed, he may ask me privately the identity of one player and I will tell him. He will not find out if the person has a special role.

City Protector: Every Night, this townsperson may tell me one player he wishes to protect. If that player is targeted by any attack, he will be immune to it and survive. The City Protector may not protect himself, nor the same person on consecutive Nights.

Lovers: These two townspeople are lovers, and if one dies, the other has one free kill that he must take the following Day. If he hits a Mafia, he survives, but if it's a townsperson, he will also kill himself out of grief.

Vigilante: At the start of the game, the townsperson who is Vigilante Major has three bullets he may use to kill any person during the Night. If he hits a Mafia, he doesn't lose a bullet.

Evil Soul: This is a townsperson, but if targeted by the Psychic, he will read as Mafia. He will not be told that he has an Evil Soul.

To sign-up, post to indicate that you are playing.

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1. Jason is ... Jason Laroque, eighteen year old student at Pizza Pavilion University and son of a late lieutenant of the Pizza Paradise Police Department. At first glance, Jason is an honor student at the top of his class, popular among his classmates and a born ladies man. However, this is simply the persona Jason has adapted. What defines Jason Laroque is boredom. With everything in life coming easily to Jason Laroque, he has grown weary of maintaining his facade. He yearns for something to happen to the quaint little town of Pizza Pavilion, he yearns for change ...

In 2007, when his father died while investigating the terrorist group that invaded Pizza Paradise, he did his best to appear as a grief-stricken son. On the inside, however, he became completely fascinated with these criminals. Each night before bed, he would kneel down and join his hands in prayer and wish - no, plead with God - to bring that malignant force to his town.

What does Jason Laroque desire? To seek revenge on the men who killed his father? To join them? Or just to bring about change? Whatever the case, a man of his intelligence and cunning could prove to be a great asset or a deadly poison to the pizza-loving people of Pizza Pavilion.

2. Vito is ... Vito "Left Hook" Lupertazzi, a forty year old retired boxer whose claim to fame was winning the WBC Middleweight Championship in 1988 by defeating Akira "Piston" Honda. He shortly lost the belt in a rematch bout that spurred a series of losses that ended with his forced retirement after the boxing commission revoked his license. Vito used his limited fame to open a chain a restaurants in select cities across the country, all that failed except for the restaurant in his hometown of Pizza Pavilion, in the neighborhood of Little Linguine.

Now Vito spends most of his days in a drunken stupor, his wife having left him years ago, taking with her his son and daughter who both despise him. Every day when he walks into Vito's Family Restaurant to count the cash in the register, he cringes when he sees the faded image of himself as a boxer, beckoning his opponent to come forward with one glove and holding a slice of pizza with the other, painted on the brick wall. His smiling, ugly mug sickens him. This "heroic" version of Vito now seemed like more of a parody, his chiseled abs replaced with a hairy gut barely covered by a spaghetti-sauce stained wife beater.

When Vito heard of the murders in the neighboring Pizza Paradise, he didn't share the disgust that his fellow citizens had. No, he felt an excitement, a stirring in his heart that he hadn't felt since his days in the ring. "If only they would come here" Vito thought. Then maybe he could face these terrorists himself. And then he would become a hero once again. However, men with such selfish desires don't always follow the path of righteousness ...

3. Theldorrin is ... Donovan T. Dorvin , an FBI Agent that was sent to investigate the grisly murders in Pizza Paradise only to discover that they had unexpectedly ceased. One of the top field agents, Donovan T. Dorvin's track record is completely flawless, having solved some of the bureau's largest cases almost entirely on his own. The machine-like precision in which he handled cases and his otherworldly attention to details have made him both a champion agent of the FBI and pariah amongst his peers. All social contact not related to work is extremely limited, dismissing his friends and family with courtesy on a regular basis. His wife and child, only procured to help his image in the bureau, are like strangers to him.

Now he spends his days in Pizza Paradise without purpose, permanently checked in at a local hotel. All leads have went dead, burned with the bodies of the terrorists. With no one left to question, this mysterious organization remains clouded in secrecy. Despite repeated requests to be moved to another case, the FBI has refused, glad to be rid of the glory-hogging detective.

One night, Donovan found himself staring at the ceiling of his hotel room. He began to wish, a practice he once considered silly, hopelessly pleading to God to bring the terrorists back. He needed those men and women to return, to begin killing again, so he could have a purpose.

The next day, Donovan T. Dorvin sees his wish granted all over the news. But is this a blessing or a curse? Will Dorvin bring the terrorists to justice or will he count himself among their numerous victims? Remember the old adage: be careful what you wish for.

4. My Head Hurts is ... Brett Hurtz, eighteen year old senior at Pizza Pavilion High and motorcycle enthusiast. In the gated, 95% white community of Pizza Pavilion Brett Hurtz stands out by being an octoroon, 1/8th African. Not only has this made him incredibly popular at his school but his 1/8th African blood has made him a gifted track star, allowing him to blow past his white classmates with his instantaneous movement.

But with the developments in Pizza Paradise, his classmates are now looking at Brett with different eyes. The 1/8th of black in his blood gives his skin tone a light brown, making him easily confused for a Middle Eastern. In the overly paranoid town of Pizza Pavilion, rumors soon begin to spread that Brett Hurtz himself is a terrorist. This is punctuated when one day Hurtz opens his locker to find "SAND NIGGER" scrawled on the inside, instead of the regular "NIGGER" that he was accustomed to. Grabbing the nearest student, Brett slammed him into the locker and screamed in anger that he was, in fact, black. But the student just averted their gaze and continued murmurings, isolating the once popular Brett Hurtz further.

If only those terrorists were here, he could hunt them down and show the town that he wasn't one of them. Yes, if he could just kill a terrorist, then everyone would know that he's innocent. And with that, Brett prays ...

5. Servbot is ... Chad Servens, seventeen year old student of Little Linguine High. Since Little Linguine is more ethnic, or only ethnic, area of Pizza Pavilion, the soft-spoken and kind-hearted Chad doesn't stand out among his fellow blacks. So he hangs out on the expansive campus of Pizza Pavilion High, educating his white friends on urban life, most of which he picked up on ComicView or invented himself.

Life was good being the token black friend for Chad Servens, but this life came crashing down when his friends stopped by his home and discovered Chad swimming in his backyard swimming pool. Not only were they shocked to find that Chad had his own pool, but they also assumed black people couldn't swim genetically. Although Chad tried explain away the situation by saying this was some white family he murdered's pool, his friends knew the truth and left to find a more authentic minority to befriend.

Chad Servens had to get his friends back, but how? Looking through the Rap CDs he picked up at F.Y.E., he found an early 2000 Dr. Dre album with a marijuana leaf on the cover. That was it! Black people smoke marijuana constantly! But there was no way Chad was going to be able to get his hands on weed in the clean, crime free city of Pizza Pavilion. If only a more sinister element would enter the town, he thought. And that's when the Pepperoni Times was tossed onto his front yard ...

6. Seika is ... "Scurvy" Samuel Seika, a former employee at Pizza Land, Pizza Pavilion's premiere amusement park, that was lost at sea in 2002. He was a performer who donned the persona of Captain Cheesebeard, a swashbuckling pirate who would try to rob the citizens of Pizzaylnvania of their precious pepperoni. As scheduled, the citizens would fight back, engaging in thrilling sword fights with his crew. The act usually ended when a random audience member, usually a young child, was chosen at random and given a flintlock pistol to fire at Captain Cheesebeard. It would be a blank, of course, and Cheesebeard would ham up his death before eventually plunging overboard.

But one of Seika's coworkers was jealous of him success, his 1st mate in the performance. To deal with Seika and take his place as star of the attraction, he switched out the blanks with real bullets. And as planned, a child was chosen at random from the audience and Cheesebeard was shot, but this time for real. Taking a bullet in the shoulder, he fell overboard and vanished into the sea. No one could Samuel Seika, as he had already drifted out to sea and onto a deserted island.

Still in his pirate gear, Samuel Seika bandaged up his wound and cobbled together a raft so he could make it back to Pizza Pavilion. However, he encountered a yacht first, which he boarded. When the owners of the yacht saw him his pirate gear, wielding a sword he used to spear fish with, they immediately abandoned ship. Seika was a little weary about taking the ship at first, but his first hijacking went so well he decided to try it again. Soon he was hijacking yacht after yacht, stealing bottles of champagne and boxes of caviar. He even turned the yachts' crews into pirates. Soon Samuel Seika became known as "Scurvy" Samuel Seika, a pirate king who ruled the sea outside of Pizza Pavilion with an iron fist.

But with the terrorist attacks in Pizza Palace and Paradise, citizens are too scared to go boating anymore. The captured booty became smaller and smaller until Seika couldn't afford to feed his crew. There was murmurings of mutiny.

If only those terrorists would come to Pizza Pavilion, then he could deal with them face to face. He could kill them and reclaim the seas, or maybe he could even get them to join him. Whatever the case, Samuel Seika wished upon the north star that the terrorists would make another appearance.

7. Michael Payne is ... Channon "The Cannon" Paine, former professional wrestler and now mayor of Pizza Pavilion. After the debacles involving Pizza Palace and Pizza Paradise, Channon Paine was quickly elected under his "Terrorists are Shitbags" campaign. This involved the burly mayor executing a figure-four leglock, his signature technique, on a vaguely Middle Eastern dummy during press conferences. He won by a landslide.

But his approval ratings have been dropping steadily since he's been elected as a terrorist attack hasn't occurred on Pizza soil in years. Accusations of embezzlement are being levied at the mayor, and without the threat of danger the people of Pizza Pavilion are finally recognizing Channon Paine's general ineptitude. With an election nearing, Channon "The Cannon" finds himself in a tight situation.

After a lengthy expose by a local news team revealing Pizza Pavilion's reliance on foreign marinara, Mayor Paine was pushed into a corner. He needed something to distract his detractors from his mistakes. If only those terrorists would come and solve all of his problems. Totally hopeless, Channon Paine dropped to his knees and began to pray ...

8. Peter Jones is ... Dr. David Jones, thirty-six year old coroner of Pizza Pavilion. Jones is a cigar-chomping, no-nonsense type of guy who remains stone-faced at even the most grisly of murder scenes. Not that Pizza Pavilion has much in the way of murder, but Jones isn't concerned with that. "It pays the bills," he often says while puffing on a cigar. His relatively low workload gives him plenty of time to spend with his family, who he dearly loves.

When the terrorist murders were in full swing, David Jones was called over to Pizza Paradise to help with examining the bodies. Opening the chest of Magical Juan, he was greeted with a most peculiar sight: a black heart. So the rumors were true, Jones thought, and the local medical examiner presented him a half dozen more black hearts all preserved in glass jars. Jones was completely stunned at this scientific finding.

It made no logical sense. There were no records in history of humans having black hearts, and to find several men and women all in the same town, all in the same group, possessing such a peculiar defect ... it was almost too much for Jones to handle. Regardless of all the tests he ran, checking the terrorists' diet or seeing if they somehow managed to dye their own hearts black, no pattern could be found. The only answer that Jones could think of was that there was perhaps a genuine, honest-to-God evil gene.

A fervent dedication to his work overtook David Jones, and soon he shut himself off from his family so he could spend ample time with his corpses. But these weren't enough. But he needed more test subjects, more bodies. He needed a bigger sample. Somehow, he was going to have to get those terrorists to come to Pizza Pavilion, one way or another.

9. Derek Payne is ... Goliath Paine, brother of Channon "The Cannon" Paine and professional wrestler. In the late 80's, the two were an unstoppable tag team known as the "House of Paine" with an undefeated record. Eventually, Goliath Paine's in-ring prowess earned him a shot at the Meat Lover's Championship, a treasured title in the tri-state area. After winning the belt, the diabolical Vincent K. O'Neal, owner of the Pizza Palace Wrestling Federation, arranged a match between Goliath and his own brother for the title! Worst yet, it was to take place in Goliath Paine's hometown of Pizza Pavilion.

Before the fight, O'Neal assured Paine that his title was not in jeopardy as Channon had agreed to throw the fight. However, during the match Channon "The Cannon" Paine locked in his finishing technique, "The Paine Traine", on Goliath. Goliath refused to tap to his brother's technique yet still lost the match when Vincent O'Neal rushed out to the ring and ordered the time keeper to ring the bell. Channon Paine won the match and Goliath, distraught and enraged by his loss, powerbombed Vincent O'Neal through a table. Bitter over being backstabbed, Goliath hasn't spoken to his brother since.

After his loss, Goliath Paine's credibility as a singles wrestler quickly went down the drain and with his tag team defunct, his super stardom became merely a twinkle. Now he spends his days performing shows in high school gyms and getting pinned by younger, less talented wrestlers. Looking at his stretch mark riddled biceps, he wishes to once again be bathed in the spotlight. And that's when a news report detailing the horrific murders of Pizza Paradise appeared on the television in his studio apartment.

10. Rice is ... Eric Guan, the thirty year old owner and operator the Pizza Pavilion's lone Chinese restaurant, Chinese Kombo King. Inheriting the business from his father, Eric Guan decided to capitalize on these assets by opening a store in Pizza Pavilion where he would face no competition. Guan, an American born Chinese, played up his ancestry in hopes of boosting sales. He filmed commercials where he would speak in broken English and execute karate chops on stacks of pizza. Despite his best efforts, Eric Guan soon discovered that the people of Pizza Pavilion really do love their pizza and his business went into the red.

Blowing this opportunity from his late father, Guan begrudgingly decided to turn his Chinese restaurant into yet another pizzeria so he could make ends meet. Looking over financial reports from local businesses, he saw a massive drop in sales of all pizzerias during the terrorist attacks. In fact, all businesses serving Italian food had taken a huge hit.

He wouldn't dare think the thoughts himself, so he reached out and grabbed one of Chinese Kombo King's fortune cookies. Crushing it in his fist, Eric Guan extracted the fortune and read it.

"Do good, reap good; do evil, reap evil."

11. MADali is ... Malcolm Mohammed Zaranj, a twenty-five year old immigrant to the United States who came to this country to pursue the American Dream. In his home country, Zaranj was orphaned as a child when his home was bombed, killing 28 of his family members. As a child, he survived by stealing bread from the local marketplace. This practice continued into his teenage years until one day the shopkeep his stole from chased him through the alleys while wielding a large sword. Of course, evading his victims was effortless for Zaranj as he knew the alleys and side streets of his hometown well, but this merchant was particularly persistent. Eventually, the shopkeeper had him cornered and slashed open his chest, carving him from left pectoral to his right thigh.

Despite his grievous injuries Mohammed Zaranj managed to escape and lay in a dirty alley, bleeding onto the street. Sure he was going to die, he promised Allah that he would never steal again. Not because he found stealing immoral, but rather he resolved never to live in poverty again. Once his wound healed, he hid inside a freighter headed forward America, and eventually his journey led him to Pizza Pavilion.

As a local merchant in the Pizza Pavilion, he changed his first name to Malcolm and sold patriotic flags and bumper stickers during the height of terrorist attacks in the neighboring cities of Pizza Palace and Pizza Paradise. But as the murders declined, so did his sales. Soon his comfortable lifestyle began to diminish and he was forced to steal again just to survive. Resolving not to go back on his promise, he prayed to Allah once more to bring the terrorists back. And if God wouldn't do it, would Malcolm Mohmmed Zaranj be pushed so far to become one himself?

12. Yogurtman is ... Brian "Yogurtman" Andrews, thirty year old otaku who works as a the mascot Mr. Yogurtman, an anthropomorphic cup of yogurt, for the Little Linguine Creamery. Andrews is content with his job as it gives him plenty of time to daydream. Of all the aspects of Japanese culture, Brian Andrews is particularly fascinated with Sentai television programs, series which feature ordinary youths who transform into costumed heroes. Although not quite a youth, Brian Andrews often practices heroic poses in the mirror wearing his Yogurtman costume sans the cumbersome headpiece. For hours he would recite heroic speeches and shout "YOGURTOMAN ... TRANSFORM!!" in broken English. He even fashioned a new, more stylish mask with a golden "Y" headpiece mounted on the front.

But his dreams of a superhero would go unfulfilled. Pizza Pavilion is one of the most crime free cities in all of America. The biggest crime committed in the Pavilion is jaywalking. There was no crime to fight here. No enemy. No purpose.

While browsing at the BBS website Pizza Channel, Andrews stumbled upon a thread discussing the recent attacks in the neighboring cities of Pizza Paradise and Pizza Palace. The social miscreants of Pizza Channel have turned the terrorists into internet idols, drawing caricatures of the killers using cutesy ASCII art. But there was one post that caught his attention. The anonymous poster wrote "If you click on the link to this website and say the name of your city out loud ten times, the terrorists will come."

Of course it was just a joke, but Andrews mouse pointer inched closer to the hyperlink. With a click, he was greeted with an all-black screen. Taking a deep breath, he uttered to himself:

"Pizza Pavilion. Pizza Pavilion. Pizza Pavilion." Over and over and over. After all, what good is a hero without a villain?

13. Ace Kendo is ... Ace Diamond, a correspondent for the Travel channel with his own television program, "On the Beat with Ace Diamond." He travel to cities around the world, taking in the food and architecture and exposing the unseen sides of some of the world's most famous locales. This show brought his lots of fame and money, most of which he used to support his insatiable cocaine habit. Diamond is known for signature gold-rimmed shades, his colorful scarves, and incredibly hooked nose.

His trip to Pizza Pavilion was supposed to be like any other. One of the quickest growing tourist spots in America, Ace Diamond was to film a 30 minute episode in the "Land of Pizza." However, his first draft of the video was outright rejected, the television execs claiming that the show was "too repetitive. Is the whole thing going to be about pizza?" With nothing to make a show about, Ace Diamond's one week stay quickly grew into two, and then into a month. Deadline was approaching and he was running out of cocaine. He had to do something.

And then the answer came to him as clear as day when he overheard two bell boys talking in the hall outside his room.

"Didn't you hear? The terrorists struck again in Pizza Paradise! The chief of police is dead!"

Of course, if those terrorists were to attack Pizza Pavilion, the execs would eat it up. Hell, they'd give him his own hour. It's the perfect story. With an idea brewing in his head, he sat down in front of his mirror and snorted a line of coke. He would have to do something. You can't just always wait around for a story to happen, after all.

14. Morgan is ... Miss Christina Morgan Daiglenaut, twenty-two year old heiress to the Daiglenaut Pizza Farms which produce materials that go into 90% of all pizzas in Pizza Pavilion, Palace, and Paradise. A striking beauty, it wasn't uncommon to see strolling through Parmesan Place with one of her many suitors. But these bachelors could never go farther than one date with Miss Daiglenaut as she would coldly reject any further advances. Some believed that Miss Daiglenaut was looking for that special someone, or that maybe she was just a prude. Some say that she is so high class that she had her asshole surgically removed. Despite these rumors, Miss Daiglenaut remained one of the most sought after women of all of Pizza Pavilion.

But the truth was Miss Daiglenaut wasn't interested in these types of men. Do stuffy and well-behaved. Every rehearsed word from their mouths sickened her. This men weren't "real", she thought. They didn't truly know what it meant to live, they were just as sheltered as she was. To satisfy her sexual desires, Daiglenaut seduced her many servants who would often gang bang her all at once. But even with the numerous dicks in her orifices, this was not satisfying. Only these men knew the "real world", they did not provide the danger she was seeking.

"Those damn terrorist attacks have dropped our stock another point," Mr. Reginald Daiglenaut shouted as he slammed his fist onto the breakfast table. As Reginald tossed the paper to the ground, his daughter Christina peeked out of the corner of her eye and saw Matt Hall's face on the cover. A wave of warm pleasure grew from her chest and rushed through her body until reaching the tips of her fingers and toes. In a lustful delirium, he almost drooled before quickly snapping back to reality. After breakfast was over and no one was looking, she snatched up the paper and rushed off to her room.

"Oh, if only those terrorists would come here," she sighed, rubbing her fingers along the picture of Hall's face, smearing the ink. Little did she know that someone was listening to her request ...

15. Triple Life is ... Leeroy Robinson, a twenty-three year old servant for the Daiglenaut family. On the surface, Leeroy seemed like an obedient and loyal servant, but the truth was he had only taken the job to get closer to the family he so despised. As his ancestors were slaves on Daiglenaut Pizza Farms, the tales of the cruel treatment of their workers made his black blood boil. Leeroy made it his life goal to destroy this family at all costs.

The plan seemed all too easy. It was a mere two months of working there before Leeroy was confronted by Christinia Daiglenaut in the grounds' tool shed and forced herself on him. She couldn't go a day without having sex with Robinson, pulling him into a nearby closets and pantries so he could satisfy her needs. Soon her maddening lust had her screwing several servants at once, and this is where Leeroy discovered his opportunity. If he were to just secretly film these orgies, he could release this video to the press and the Daiglenaut family would be in ruin. Or so he thought ...

The "Christinia Daiglenaut Sex Tape" rocketed her to unparalleled fame. Before she was only known as the heiress to the Daiglenaut fortune, and now she was a star of her own. Although many of the suitors stopped vying for her attention, this only pleased Miss Christina as now she could spend her time living an open life of debauchery. Leeroy Robinson's plan had failed spectacularly.

Clutching a small kitchen knife, Robinson stood outside Christina's room, ready to end the Daiglenaut family by force. As he twisted the door knob, he heard her voice.

"Oh, if only those terrorists would come here." Robinson smiled, immediately understanding the situation. If she wanted to fuck a terrorist so bad, Robinson will bring her a terrorist. Those black hearted monsters will kill her and her whole family, and Leeroy knew when their shadowy cocks are stuffed in her mouth she'll realize she's bitten off more than she can chew.

16. Clotho is ... Eddie Clothowski, a twenty-five year old denizen of Pizza Pavilion who works part-time at an auto shop. A little dimwitted but good-natured, his coworkers taunt his portly frame and his boss often reprimands him for taking a snooze in out back or for chowing down on a meat lover's pizza when he should be working on cars. His smiling outward appearance masks his bitter and vengeful inner self that looks down on the world that has wronged him.

One day Andy was beaten with a tire iron by his boss because he mistakenly left his pizza box on top of the engine of a car he was working on, thus causing the whole thing to catch fire and explode. He was fired on the spot for his negligence, losing his only source of income. Soon he was kicked out his apartment building and poor Eddie had to live on the streets. He spends his days cruelly torturing stray cats, unleashing his rage on creatures that can't fight back.

But no matter how many cats he beat with a wrench, that anger would not subside. But Eddie knew he was too much of a coward to do something himself. If only there was someone who could take care of those who treated him so badly for him. Wiping his ass with a newspaper, he pulls out another page and sees the headlines "PIZZA PARADISE IN TERROR."

17. ALDP is ... Jethro Hall, a twenty year old rock musician and front man for the band "A Large Disembodied Penis." With his long, blonde hair feathered, violet stars painted on his cheeks, and mascara around his eyes he rocks out in Pizza Pavilion clubs, screeching our bizarre lyrics to let the audience know the whole "glam" thing is ironic. Although very popular, his band isn't very talented, so Jethro makes up for it stage theatrics such as lighting fireworks attached to his codpiece.

But lately, the shock value of his band's antics isn't getting a rise out of the sheltered citizens of Pizza Pavilion. Not even their inflammatory band name can get a reaction out of their audience anymore. With the terrorist murders happening in neighboring cities, firing a super soaker filled with milk held at crotch level onto their fans just isn't cutting it. No one is coming to see A Large Disembodied Penis anymore, and Jethro Hall may be forced to drop out of band and go back to law school.

No! Jethro won't give up his dream that easily. He just has to up with a plan, to deal with those terrorist fucks once and for all. All he has to do is to devise a way to get to them to come to Pizza Pavilion, and then can challenge them to a rock off. The poor fools won't know what hit 'em, Jethro thinks to himself with a smirk. And then he'll be back on top.

[Jason]

I'm in!

[Theldorrin]

Ok, I'll play.

[My Head Hurts 90]

I will play too.

[Servbot]

Let's do this!

[Seika]

I have mixed feelings about Heir, but I'll play.

[Vinny]

Roles are still being decided. Jason just insisted I put up the sign up sheet immediately.

[FancyMichael]

i play

[Big Fagot]

Hell yeah!

[Derek Payne]

I'll play.

[Jason]

Make sure you read the rules, everyone.

[Seru]

I'll play!

[Seru]

Ha ha ha, like fuck I will!

Don't you wish.

[Rice]

That means you will, right?

As well as I!

[Seru]

Incorrect.

[MADali]

I guess I'd like to be included, but I didnt participate at all in Mafia III.

[Derek Payne]

Don't you want to explode the game with your net influence, Seru?

[Vinny]

Posting character bios now.

[Yogurtman]

I dunno if I should play or not.

I barely participated last time, but when I did WE WERE VICTORIOUS.

I guess I will play IF THAT'S OK.

[Action Hank]

I don't know. I am drunk now, so I want to play, but who knows tomorrow?