Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

ALDP · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:50 pm)

I'm not doing anything for my birthday and I don't have anything to say about it but I figured I might as well post about it to make everyone else feel old as shit.

ALDP · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:52 pm)

I didn't post on any message boards for the first twelve years of my life, but I have posted intermittently on a series of message boards for the latter thirteen years.

ALDP · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:56 pm)

Actually I jerked off for the first time and posted at MPP for the first time at different points in the week before my 12th birthday, but I can't remember the specifics. I know I was in the shower when I jerked off, and I know one of the two events happened the very day before my birthday. Just one of those "ALDP Mysteries" I suppose.

johnbuisthegreat · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:34 pm)

I remember the first time I jerked off.

I was at my dads house and my sisters him and step mom were all out and he had this porn strip tease game where you tip X amount and they show you a minute clip or so (to get more money you just reload the stripper) and instinctively I started stroking my penis and in a sudden surprise stuff came out (I never paid attention in health class) and while I was still in shock with the mess everyone comes home. I was upstairs at least and started frantically wiping everything up.

ALDP · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:40 pm)

Yes, I was in the shower and it was also the culmination of some instinctive dick stroking.

I wonder if we've hit upon a popular topic for the board to discuss.

Fagzilla · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:45 pm)

You've fucked yourself now, because now everyone's going to want to talk about that.

I was humping pillows and dry-coming when I was 8. I specifically remember being pissed off when actual jizz started shooting out because then I had to clean it up. And I loved naked ladies.

PUSSY 4 LYFE

ALDP · (Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:54 pm)

I feel like I jerked off for several years before I started producing something recognizable as jizz, but I probably just jerked off so much in the year or two before I started making the real deal that it seems like ages.

My Head Hurts 90 · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:32 am)

I remember watching porno for the first time and when the guy came I was like "What the fuck WAS that?" so then I tried it later that night and then I was like "ohhhhh dang"

Ryoko's Biatch · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:36 am)

I guess this makes me weird, but I didn't jerk off until I was 15 or 16.

Roy · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:32 am)

I win, I was 18!

I had heard about masturbation before of course, but I did not understand the concept of an orgasm. I thought masturbating was this activity where you yanked on your dick for a bit, and jizz would slowly leak out while you did it. That sounded stupid so I never bothered trying it. I was just content watching softcore porn on late night TV with a huge, pulsating boner. Needless to say, I was extremely horny throughout high school due to having a decade and a half of stored up jizz! Well that, and all the teenage girls running around.

MADali · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:37 am)

I remember reading in Stephen King's It about jerking off so I tried it but I was too young and nothing happened so I used soap to jerk off like the boys in the book and that made urinating really harmful. Eventually, after a year or so of pointless masturbation, a sort of transparent fluid would trickle out which eventually became heavier. Basically, I guess, I have been masturbating before I could actually jizz.

MADali · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:38 am)

Also, Roy's story is weird. Its like he lived in the 19th century. How could you reach 18 without being completely exposed to subjects about the process of cumming?

Fagzilla · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:44 am)

When you start putting all of his posts together to form a complete picture, Roy is pretty mindblowing in general.

MADali · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:02 am)

I guess thats the cool thing about FTU. In other message boards, where groups of weird people post together, they generally are of the same weirdness. In FTU, everyone is abnormal in his own special way. You take Gimp Mask, Matthew Outland, or Frank the Wank, they are all unfit for a respectable society, but they are unfit for DIFFERENT reasons.

Clotho · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:08 am)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hc72fwZf60&list=FLeU-ftfAR2YCdGczEdAIZtA&feature=mh_lolz#t=1m24s

ALDP · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:45 am)

I'm willing to venture that unlike me and MADali, Roy did not read IT before reaching puberty.

ALDP · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:46 am)

Also never any other time cuz he's a big ol sissy. Haha, god bless you, Roy! You're one of the greats!

Magic Juan · (Tue Mar 05, 2013 6:34 pm)

I remember jerking off for the first time after playing a rousing game of Caesar 2.

Derek Payne · (Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:13 pm)

IT is a good book, and I've been meaning to read it again (mostly because I can barely remember anything about it).

ALDP · (Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:53 pm)

I bought an Italian copy of IT in Italy but then I left it there.