Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Jason]

VINCE MCMAHON

The embodiment of pure, wrestling insanity, Vince McMahon strutted through competition in round one, making Potatoes and Judge Dredd look like huge fucking pussies which they are. Soon thereafter, the mad billionaire proved once again that he is not above lashing out at the mentally handicapped when he achieved a flawless victory over round one underdog laserkid.

Mr. McMahon arrives while No Chance plays over loudspeakers, swaggering and sneering at his opponent and flexing his roided up, sixty-five year old biceps.

GUTS

Like his opponent, Guts also faced no competition in round one, soundly defeating both pro wrestler Sabu and goddamn Neo! He shut out Neo! In the second round, he became the only man to finally end the tortured life of Oh-Dae su, and word has it that the world-wearied Korean man thanked him as Guts decimated him with the Dragonslayer.

Guts is huge and super strong, like Vince, but also has a sword.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[Derek Payne]

Guts

[MisfitMan]

Vince McMahon

[MADali]

The wrestling insanity is nothing compared to the insanity of Guts' life.

[Mike Dunn]

Haha, Gut.

[MADali]

You forgot to bold it, bitch.

[cloacal kiss]

Vince McMahon!

[Seru]

Guts.

[Mike Dunn]

That wasn't a vote, I was making fun of you.

But yeah, Guts.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Guts

[L Ron Butterfly]

Vince McMahon: I'm gonna get in them GUTZ.


(Vince McMahon's wife rolls in on a wheel chair, smoking a giant cigar)

Linda McMayhem: Whose guts you gettin into this time, Vince? D-bra's?

Vince McMahon: No, not Guts. GUTZ.

(Guts, in a thunderous explosion of violence, collapses Vince's skull)

Linda McMayhem: Oh, my poor Vince. How shall I grieve thee?

Vince (V.O.): YOU CAN GREIVE ME IN HELL

(Vince McMahon turns into a giant demonic vampire that sells knife sets door to door to pay off student loans)

Vince: Do you want some knives?

Gutz: No.

Vince: Then face the wrath!

(Vince throws knives at Gutz who skillfully avoids all of them)

Vince: I am through playing around with you! Here, tie this cable to your person, and you will enter the wrestling ring from up top, a most dramatic entrence, no doubt.

Gutz: Vanity is my weakness. (attaches harness)

Vince: (brandishing giant hedgeclippers) Now you die! I stole these from Brutus the Barber Beefcake!

Gutz: Aghghghghghg

(Gutz falls two hundred yards, landing head first on a ring pole)

Vince: Now you are dead!

Linda McMahon: How long have we been waiting here?

(bus arrives)

[Action Hank]

Guts

[LexysaurusRex]

Guts

[Vinny]

ORCHESTRAL MUSIC SWELLS as grainy, black and white footage begins to play on the Titantron.

GUTS, the BLACK SWORDSMEN, is shown from various angles in the middle of the WWE ring, spinning like a tornado and exploding all sorts of jobbers and other goons into an foamy, gore ejaculate. Since I don't watch wrestling anymore, let's say it was dudes like TEST and the MEAN STREET POSSE and the Godfather.

THEN, a shot of VINCE MCMAHON FUMING as he stands at the entrance way.

"It is a sad day for Vince McMahon!" Jim Ross narrates.

Guts is DUELING with KANE, who CLOTHESLINES his broadsword, exploding it into PIECES. He lifts Guts by his throat and CHOKESLAMS him into the MAT.

"HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE!" ROSS screams, his frozen face PULSATING in EXCITEMENT.

Guts groggily climbs to his knees as KANE lifts his foot, READY to SMASH GUTS' fucking brains all over the mat. But then, the CAMERA SWITCHES TO SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE.

"OH, OH! WHO'S THAT!" Lawler squeals.

IT'S THE FUCKIN' UNDERTAKER, and he's riding a HORSE for some reason in the middle of the audience.

"THE UNDERTAKER! THE UNDERTAKER! THINGS ARE PICKING UP!" ROSS SHOUTS.

HE CHUCKS a GIANT FUCKING SWORD into the RING. WITHOUT HESITATION, he grabs the blade and CUTS KANE DIAGONALLY IN HALF.

KOONG! Vince McMahon stands at the entrance ramp, looking at Kane's lower torso shower the ring in blood as GUTS STARES HIM DOWN.

"I want that SON OF A BITCH, DEAD!" MCMAHON SAYS, slamming his FINGER into TRIPLE H'S greasy chest while they're backstage.

Guts is kicking the shit out of some goon in the ring when D-GENERATION X'S THEME BLARES. They rush out of the CROWD CARRYING STEEL CHAIRS.

"The cavalry has arrived, J.R.!" Lawler said.

"Those dirty, no good ..."

THEN IT CUTS to GUTS stabbing the jobber, TWISTING the sword in his guts, and then SWINGING HIM BY HIS INTESTINES like some sort of MEAT MACE. HE FIGHTS BACK D-GENERATION X who swat at the CORPSE with their chairs.

BOOM! HE TOSSES THE CORPSE into TRIPLE H, pinning him into the corner. ROAD DOGG RUSHES FORWARD, but GUTS grabs him by his stupid fucking dreadlocks and SHOVES HIM RIGHT UP BILLY GUNN'S ASS. AS BILLY GUNN CRIES IN AGONY, GUTS takes his SWORD and SHOVES IT DOWN HIS THROAT, THROUGH HIS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM, and INTO ROAD DOGG'S FOREHEAD - KILLING THEM BOTH!

BAM! BAM! CHAIR SHOTS from X-PAAAAAAC! (X-PAC!) knock GUTS SILLY. X-Pac TOSSES him into the corner, STARTS CHOPPIN' HIS CROTCH, and goes in for the BRONCO BUSTER!

BUT NO! GUTS DIVES OUT OF THE WAY. With X-Pac stunned, Guts grabs the *ENERGY DRINK* PAC has tucked in his WAISTBAND and begins SHAKING THAT SHIT UP. He pulls open X-PAC'S MOUTH, SLAMS THE CAN IN STUPID HEAD, and UPPERCUTS HIS JAW causing the CAN TO EXPLODE, along with X-PAC'S SKULL! THC-SATURATED BRAIN BITS RAIN DOWN ON GUTS.

"NO! NO! That's cheating!" Lawler said.

Triple H pushes the corpse off his body to see the BLACK SWORDSMEN drenched in COMRADES BLOOD, his face covered in shadow except his GLOWING EYES and GRIN. IN AN INSTANT, HHH'S head is RIPPED off and GUTS is on the ropes, CHUGGING THE BLOOD FROM HIS SKULL while FLIPPING OFF THE AUDIENCE.

"BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! GUTS HAS JUST MURDERED ALL OF DX!" JIM ROSS SCREAMS AS HE SQUIRTS BARBECUE SAUCE UP HIS ASS.

It cuts a LONG ZOOM IN of VINCE MCMAHON'S FACE, once again standing at the entrance, his face UNDULATING WITH RAGE.

CUT TO VINCE MCMAHON and GUTS STARING EACH OTHER DOWN IN THE RING.

"GUUUUUUUUUTTTSSS ..." VINCE MCMAHON drags out that one syllable as long as possible, spitting saliva everywhere, "You'rrrrreeeeee FIREEEEEED!"

"HAHA! You don't mess with the boss or you get the boot!" Lawler says as he strokes his dick through his spandex.

But then GUTS JUST CHOPS VINCE MCMAHON IN HALF!

"BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! VINCE HAS BEEN CHOPPED IN HAAAAAAALF!!"

SHATTERING GLASS sounds GUTS' THEME MUSIC as he STOMPS AROUND the RING, flipping off everyone in attendance as Vince McMahon lays dying on the mat. LINDA, STEPHANE, AND SHANE MCMAHON rush to the RING to AID THEIR FATHER. They cry over his corpse as Guts continues to celebrate his death.

The orchestral music gets really SLOW and SAD at this part as it the camera zooms in on VINCE MCMAHON'S LIFELESS FACE, tears running down his cheeks.

"NO!!"

MCMAHON'S UPPER HALF RAISES A CLENCHED, BLOODY FIST TO THE SKY.

"EVERY DAY ... I GRAB LIFE BY THE THROAT," VINCE SAYS, BLOOD POURING FROM HIS TEAR DUCTS, NOSTRILS, AND MOUTH, "AND CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF IT!"

HE OPENS HIS HAND TO REVEAL A BEHELIT. THE BEHELIT'S FACE CRIES TEARS OF BLOOD as the ARENA is SHROUDED in DARKNESS.

The arena walls turn CRIMSON RED as the GOD HAND RISES UP from the AUDIENCE, towering 50 feet TALL over the humans. VOID raises up his SKELETAL FINGER, and in a FLASH OF FLAME, the BRAND SLAMS into the AUDIENCE MEMBERS.

"W-What's going on, Daddy?" Stephanie asks, trembling. VINCE MCMAHON DOESN'T ANSWER HER as the BRAND slams right onto her TITTY. Shane and Linda collapse as the brand claims them as well.

"MCMAHON!" GUTS SHOUTS, LEAPING OFF the TURNBUCKLE to swing his SWORD AT HIM. A TOWER OF CRIMSON FACES rises up from under MCMAHON and SENDS HIM HIGH ABOVE the RING.

Immediately, MONSTERS begin to DESCEND upon the fans and DEVOURING with their CAVERNOUS MAWS. Horrible tentacle beasts GRAB STEPHANIE and rip off her CLOTHES before STRINGING HER UP HIGH above the ARENA. The ring GROWS A MOUTH that swallows up LINDA and SHANE MCMAHON, turning them into a SLURRY of RED. GUTS leaps out of the ring ONTO THE DEMONIC HORDE, slashing them with his broadsword until it snaps in half.

"J.R., we gotta get the fuck out of here!" LAWLER says, tossing down his headset. "J.R.?"

He turns to JIM ROSS, who is standing perfectly still, his eyes obscured. Suddenly, his TOP HALF falls off and splats against the floor. LAWLER SHRIEKS and charges up the entrance way and into the backstage.

"ERRYYAAAGH!" GUTS SCREAMS, jamming his BROKEN SWORD into MONSTERS wearing "CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?" t-shirts ironically as they high-five while buttfucking severed butts.

LAWLER stumbles helplessly through the darkness before coming upon a BEAUTIFUL, NUDE WOMAN. Weak and confused, he accepts her EMBRACE and NUZZLES his face against her giant titties. THE CAMERA PANS OUT to reveal the beautiful woman transforming into some sort of horrible CATERPILLAR CREATURE with TITS covered in blades.

"Shiiiiit ..." Lawler whimpers out before he is consumed.

GUTS ARRIVES ON TOP OF THE TUMULTOUS BLOODBATH as the ONLY REMAINING HUMAN LEFT, STABBING AND CLAWING HIS WAY TO SURVIVAL. All around him HUMAN PARTS are GETTING fucked by prickly DEMON DICKS or their entrails GORGED. A DEMON swoops in and PINS GUTS to the GROUND, pinning his arm with his RAZOR-SHARP TEETH. Meanwhile, Slann is fingering her comparatively gigantic slit while Ubik jerks off on her shoulder.

KOOOOONG! THE MURDERFUCKFEAST HALTS SUDDENLY as the DEMONS turn towards the TOWER. THE UNDERTAKER descends from THE MEAT CITADEL with BLACK, ANGELIC WINGS. He lands in the ring with a CLOAKED FIGURE perched on his back. The Cloaked Figure gently drops down and kneels before the prostrate GUTS.

HE REVEALS THE HOOD, and THE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC GETS FUCKING INTENSE.

"IT WAS ME, GUUUUTSS!!" VINCE MCMAHON SCREAMS, HIS BODY RECONSTITUTED INTO A BLACK, DEMON FORM, "IT WAS ME ALLLL ALOOOONG!"

STEPHANIE MCMAHON IS LOWERED AND VINCE BEGINS BRUTALLY FUCKING HIS OWN DAUGHTER AS GUTS WATCHES. A CLAW CLAMPS DOWN ON GUTS' HEAD AND JABS A TALON INTO HIS EYE, FOREVER BURNING THE IMAGE OF FATHER-DAUGHTER INCEST INTO HIS BRAIN.

"MCMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOON!!"
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[Mike Dunn]

Man, I bet Jason is trying to figure out a way to legitimately count that story for a thousand points.

[Magic Juan]

The filter making an appearance in that was also great.

[Servbot]

Fuck it, I have no other choice than to vote for McMahon after reading that. This fight has been decided by Vinny.

[Magic Juan]

Guts.

[Captain PUNisher]

Vince McMahon
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Seika]

There's no point in Vince advancing since STONE COLD was voted out, so Guts.