Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Captain PUNisher]

Doolittle
Act II Scene II

Doolittle walks into his new home, Higgin’s big mansion in George. He’s a pretty bummed out, and really sore, from losing at Caligula Lighting’s Abhorrent Anathema! But his spirits are lifted somewhat by the fact that he just got back from the barber. While his hair had been on the longish side, he prefers a short military cut and he was finally able to have that again, and now he feels good.

“What happened to your head?” Higgins asks as Doolittle walks through the door.

“I’s jus gotta mah ‘air cut” Doolittle says. “I’sa ‘addn’t ‘ad time ta look fer a good barber since I’sa moved from Boston.”

“Yeah, well that short hair makes you look like a pussy” Higgins says. “Now get over here and punch these things I’m holding.”

Doolittle begins to punch the things Higgins is holding, but his punches are noticeably weaker than they had been only yesterday.

Ha ha, see!?” Higgins says. “You lost your fighting spirit when you lost your hair, heh heh.”

“Puh, whatev,” Doolittle says. “I’s jus havin’ a oft day. Sides, I’sa got bigga tings to worry ‘bout den muh ‘air. I’s lost bad last night.”

“Oh, don’t worry too much about that” Higgins says. “It was your first, it’s just important that you now know what you are up against.”

Doolittle continues to kick and punch those things.

“Now” Higgins says. “We are at somewhat of a disadvantage here. Since Empresses Gigi, may Robert Smith protect her, has done such a good job keeping N.E.D. peaceful we don’t have as many goons for you to fight and to keep you sharp. I’ll figure out some kind of substitute soon though, for now we’ll just keep up our current regimen. “

And they did until late in the night when Doolittle went to bed.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Captain PUNisher]

Doolittle
Act II Scene III

“How did the training go?” Pickering asks.

“Oh, it went really well” Higgins says. “I think Doolittle could really be something if FTUW were still around. He sure wore me out tonight, but I still have enough energy to show you how superior wrestling is to boxer, get over here!”

“Now Higgins” Pickering says as he throws out a jab. “You seem to be getting awfully attached to this young man. I think it will only hurt your training efforts to be his friend.”

“Oh nonsense Pickering” Higgins says as he dropkicks him. “Wrestlers are all vain, egotistical and too full of testosterone for me to put up with them for too long, I can assure you that I will never let a wrestler in my life.”

Higgins holds out his arm for Pickering to pull himself up with. Pickering’s strong callused hand grips Higgins’ and he gets off the ground, only to be clotheslined by Higgins.

“Well after all, Pickering,” Higgins says. “I'm an ordinary man,
Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance,
to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants... But let a wrestler in your life and your serenity is though, you’ll have to go to his shows and lord only knows he wouldn’t do the same for you. You want to talk of Keats and Milton, he only wants to talk of steroids, you go to see a play or ballet and spend it searching for his wrestling glove.”

Pickering hits him with another jab, but misses with his follow up punch giving Higgins the opportunity for a suplex. Higgins grabs Pickering’s hips, runs his hands down his muscular legs and gripes his tights. He lifts him into the air and they both fall backward toward the mat. Higgins rolls over and pins Pickering.

So you have no need to worry about my relationship with Doolittle” Higgins says. “It is strictly professional.”

Higgins walks over to a chalk board that reads: “Wrestling 4 Boxing 1" and makes another tally mark.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Spamdini]

You can do it, Doolittle! Keep hitting stuff!

[Captain PUNisher]

Doolittle
Act II Scene III

Doolittle walks through the bazar of George, Washington, looking for some decent produce. He’s been sent by Higgins to do the shopping for the week.

“Carrying groceries will build up your muscles” Higgins had said.

Doolittle knows it’s BS but he isn’t upset, he figures that this is the least that he can do after all that Higgins was doing for him. He knows that there is no such thing as a free lunch, and if he expects to get anything from Higgins, he has to give something back, and shopping is a lot better than some other the other things he’s had to give to people.

Before he starts his shopping he makes a stop at his old place to pick up a few things. He walks into the building he used to squat in and walks through the lobby, past the heroin addicts and leprechauns, to the elevator. He hits the button but nothing happens.

“Yeah, Isa wonderin’ ‘ow long dat ting wuz gonna last” he says out loud.

Having no other choice, Doolittle heads up the stairs. He gets to his old room and cautiously opens the door not knowing what to expect. Well, actually he expected some meth-heads to be in his room, and he was right.

He is severely outnumbered and these meth-heads look mean. The odds don’t look good, but with faith, hope and a little bit of luck he can make it out of here alive.

One of the meth-heads jumps at Doolittle but our young hero uses the newest move hes learned, the spear, to take him out in midair. The other meth-heads rise to their feet and adbance on Doolittle.

“Da lord above gave man an arm-a-iron” Doolittle says as he flexes his arm and clothslines the first guy that gets near him. “So ‘e can do ‘is job an’d never shirk” he continues as he dropkicks the next guy. “Da lord above gave man an arm-a-iron, but wit a little bit o’ luck someone else will do da blinkin’ work!”

Two meth-heads run at him with their hand linked together, trying to double clothsline him, but Doolittle ducks under their arms and they end up clothslining the rest of the meth-heads who were all lined up for some reason. They keep running and fall out of the window.

With that threat taken care of, Doolittle does what he came here to do.

“Well,” Doolittle says. “At least theys kept da place clean.”

Doolittle goes into the crawl space and reaches into the hidden compartment there in. He pulls out his most prized possessions, his birdcage, his boomerang and his Chinese fan. He got these items from his father who got them on his business trips around the world.

As Doolittle leaves the building he puts his fan and birdcage into his bag, the boomerang slips into his belt. Once outside he sees that there is a big commotion in the streets. He can’t see what is drawing the crowd so he approaches one of the gathered people and asks him what is going on.

“Ow, it’s-a da Empress Gigi!” the man says. “She’s-a goin’ ta give a speech!”

Well, Doolittle has yet to see the Empress, so he decides to stick around.

When Gigi finally comes up the podium, Doolittle is struck a gasp. He has never seen someone so beautiful before. Her cream white skin, her raven black hair, and her copious application of eye liner all conspire together to give Doolittle butterflies in his stomach. He just stands there, unable to take his eyes off of her, his heart singing her praises. The song is about to come a crescendo as she opens her mouth to speak, but the only sound that is heard is a fearful shriek in the distance.

Everyone turns toward the cry and are horrified by what they see. A large gang of mohawked goons are racing toward the city, raping everything in their path. This is especially frightening because the citizens of the N.E.D. aren’t used to this kind of thing. Up until now, the N.E.D. has been able to protect it’s self from much of the horrors of Neo America. This is in fact the first time a mohawk has been within the country’s borders*, until now the worst the N.E.D. has had has been people with fauxhawks.

Upon seeing this menace, Gigi grabs the chair she had been sitting on and rushes forward. Her elite body guard unit, the Hard’Corps, follow their mistress into battle. Now, normally Doolittle wouldn’t left a finger to help someone out unless there was something in it for him but today is different, today his cock is doing the thinking for him and he drops his bag and rushes out to join the fray.

The battle is chaotic, fists and chairs and chains and bats crash into each other as blades and spears and swords and zombie claws tear into their victims. Warriors use all their speed and wit to avoid axes and maces and whips and now fangs as a regiment of vampires join in to help their sovereign.

Doolittle can barley tell who’s on his side and he suplexs people left and right. In the haze of battle he gets knocked down by a member of the Hard’Corps and he lands at the feet a axe wielding goon. The goon grins a toothsome grin as he raises the axe high above his head but, just as the weapon is about start its downward arc, a zombie tackles him and digs its teeth into the man’s sweet neck flesh. The zombie only postponed injury for Doolittle though for as soon as he gets to his feet he is hit over the head by something and nearly blacks out.

Doolittle’s ears ring and the back of his head is wet. He stumbles around not quite knowing where he is just being driven by an instinct to power slam people. As he stalks the battle field he mutters nonsense to himself.

“As loud as Hell, a ringing bell, behind my smile, it shakes my teeth, and all the while, as vampires feed, I bleed, I bleed.”

Doolittle wakes at Higgins’ place, in the bedroom he’s using. He walks out of the room and sees Higgins drinking tea with Pickering.

“Good” Higgins says. “You woke up just in time.”

“How did I get back here?” Doolittle asks.

“There’s no time for that now,” says Higgins. “We have to get to Slaughter Serenade!”







*Narrator’s note: I know I mentioned people with mohawks in the first promo, but I didn’t have my glasses on and I was mistaken.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[Captain PUNisher]

Oh, I completly forgot to use some of the fore shadowing that I set up.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.