Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[FancyMichael]

I have a FAN/STALKER who has been messaging me periodically on youtube for a couple of years now, and I figured I'd share some of OF THIS SHIT with you guys since it's all sort of fascinating.

Also, I haven't included any of my responses (I haven't sent him many and they're all very short). These are just his messages.


02/26/08
A strange question
Are you a guy called Mike Payne? Forgive me if I've mistaken you for someone else, but I've found your username familiar...



02/27/08
Re: Re: A strange question
Great.

I apologise if you're still uncomfortable with your old webpage, Mr. Popo's Palace, but I am an old fan of it, from 00 to 01. I'm normally a very stressed guy, and your website has helped amuse me even up to this day. I feel grateful, and I would like to thank you for it.



02/29/08
Re: Re: A strange question
Did you delete my last message? Sorry, but I was trying to thank you. YOur page might be loathed by you, but it was hilarious to me and I would like to show my gratitude for getting many hours of amusement from it!

If you're uncomfortable and don't want me to bug you anymoew, please tell me, and I'll do it. I don't want to hypocritically go and bother someone I supposedly like.



03/09/08
Re: Re: Re: Re: A strange question
That's okay.

I'm happy to have met the ONE TRUE master of DBZ comedy.

I can really identify with some of your jokes, like the Popo Mathematics Editorial (I'm working harder on math lately, it's my main weak subject), and those "not have a girlfriend and masturbate much" jokes are especially wonderful to me, as I'm a lonely fellow who couldn't bag a CHICKEN! I've never even dated once!

And is your brother Derek really a filmmaker? What did he make?



07/06/11
Hello, Mike Payne...
Since you did so good creating Mr. Popo's Palace and putting me through many homo-erotic years of orgasmic, trippy intelligently spelled (AND DESCRIBED) comedy, I figured I'd just give you a little present: my OWN little comedy series, which I did from around 2003-2009, it's an LSD Trip series about two retarded Tokusatsu hero teens who (for much of the series) have to find the Holy Grail, here it is, and I hope you enjoy.

Meteo

P.S: I still have that picture of you from Kakarot52's page; you still look subtly witty and ambiguous to me, kind of like a young Mike Myers.


Episode #I: The Beginning

Two teenage, mildly retarded men, named Special and Geezbat
discover from reading a script that they're supposed to
find the Holy Grail or their feet will turn into magic
oranges that sing british music.
Then, two giant bears get out of a cabinet and attack
our two retards/heroes.
The two get clobbered and then a witch clad in white appears,
wiggles her nose, then tells the two bloody (literally) morons
that they now can activate special powers and the knowledge
is stored in their heads.
The two then yell their catchphrases:

Special: Magic Pee-pee!
Geezbat: Flying Blue Appliances!

The two then morph into stupid looking fighting suits.

The two then beat up the bears with large party favors and
bananas.

The two then ask the witch where to find the Holy Grail.

She says that they should look behind the orchard.

They go there to find a hybrid Monkey/Elephant that starts
throwing turds at them when he sees them.

Special activates a pair of springs on his feet, causing
him to fly into a giant basket of turds being carried by
a Stork.

Geezbat then frags the beast with a jet of water fired from his nose,
with Special crashing into a tree soon after.

The duo then begins to search for anything related to the Grail,
eventually finding a scroll hidden in a hole in a tree.

Special and Geezbat then find out that, to get the Grail, they
must find a pair of legendary singing pineapples guarded by
a pair of orange midgets.

The next day, they arrive on Nesquik's Lint island to celebrate
Geezbat's mother's birthday.

They accidently run into one of the midgets, who kicks sand on
them and flies off into the forest.

Angrily, Geezbat runs after them but is attacked by a totem pole
with a really long tungue, then runs into a giant spider.

Having a fear of spiders, he pees out too many bodily fluids
and passes out from the lack of blood.

Special is searching for his friend when he runs into Captain
Dick Head and his crew, who are plotting to steal the island's
condoms.

They capture him and force him to watch a video of a diseased
man picking his nose.

Special makes a daring escape, then finds Geezbat dying in
the forest.

The spider attacks Special, but his toenails fly off and cut
the strings holding the spider up, causing it to fall to the ground.

Special then carries Geezbat to the shaman's tent, remembering
when they first met in the mental institution: Special was there
because he wanted to marry a spanish pear, while Geezbat was
sent there because he stabbed a blue golfing umbrella with a
butcher knife while wearing a Stimpy mask.

Special then imagines Geezbat healed and the 2 of them french
kissing each other in a tub of motor oil.

The shaman heals Geezbat within an hour and the duo goes off
to find the grail.

Episode #II: Finding the Pineapple

They run into a pair of giant weebles, then a singing lemon who
farts a lot, then the two midgets.

Special and Geezbat battle the Weebles, and the farting Lemon.

Geezbat shoots water out of his nose, which only turns the
right midget green.

Special then whips out a sword and thinks that adding parts of
his suit to the sword will make it stronger.

He takes off his shoes and attaches them to the sword, then his
gloves, then his only sock, then his mustache, then his boxers.

Then, his sword glows bright blue and he slashes a hole in the
left midget, blowing him up.

The remaining midget does an attack where he turns green, then
yellow, then mauve, then his eyes bulge out, then he explodes.

The duo continue onward to a tiki statue that's holding the
pineapple.

Then, the Tiki comes alive, telling them that in order to get the
Pineapple, they must pass 3 tests:

The first is to walk on a bed of sharp glass. Geezbat does this
with ease, since his shoes have steel pads built into the underside.

The second is to eat a hundred chocolates covered in ketchup and
about fifty mustard covered pickles.

Special and Geezbat both enter this, and their opponent is a gorilla.

Geezbat eventually can't go on, but Special, not knowing what taste
is, easily out eats the gorilla.

The final test is for one guy to just stand in a spot and an ogre
with 1 eye and 4 mouths will come out and smash his groin with a
special club, the hardest known club to man.

Geezbat volunteers but Special goes instead, saying that he wants
to keep Geezbat alive and well and he's wanted to ever since
Geezbat nearly died in the jungle.

Geezbat then sees a fairy (the tiny flying kind, not the gay kind),
finds him/her, then asks how his friend can be saved.

The fairy then explains the there's a special jock strap made out
of pure diamond called the "Diamond Strap" that can easily withstand
the shock of the club and save Special.

Geezbat then follows the fairy to a volcano where the fairy tells
him to leap up and he'll reach a yard in the skies, where there's
a leprechaun with a pet elephant who can give Geezbat the Diamand strap.

Geezbat tries to jump, but can't leap anywhere high enough. He then
has an idea.

He runs into the jungle, pisses off a rhinoceros by kicking him
(the rhino has a dick and ballsack, that makes him a man), and
is hit hard in the ass by the horn, sending him flying insanely
high and tearing a hole in his boxers and tights.

He lands in the yard, and sees a treehouse in the center. He goes up
to it and knocks, then a leprechaun comes out.

Geezbat then tells the leprechaun to take a tic tac and take a bath,
which angers the leprechaun. He demands that if Geezbat still wants
something from him, he must fight him and his elephant.

Geezbat tries to do one of his moves, but a spell from the leprechaun
sends him flying into a tree.

He then has a dream where he's met by a talking sandwich carried by
Darth Vader, who tells him that the only way to defeat the leprechaun
is to use the power of the moon.

Geezbat then wakes up, wonders how he'll do it, then has an idea.

He leaps out of the tree and moons the leprechaun and the elephant,
shocking them.

The leprechaun then tells Geezbat that he's won and asks Geezbat what
he wants. Geezbat tells him he wants the Diamand Strap.

Geezbat is handed the strap and he's about to jump off the yard,
unaware that this would lead to death from heights, when the
leprechaun tells him about that and teleports him down to Earth.

Meanwhile, Special is about to get whacked in the crotch by the ogre,
when Geezbat arrives and throws Special the strap, telling him to put it on.

Special starts to put it on his head, but Geezbat yells "PUT IT ON OVER
YER BOXERS!!!"

Special then moves the strap over his groin and the ogre's club smashes
into it, causing no damage.

Then the ogre smashes the strap again and again in frustration, then
stomps away.

Then the magical duo go off to the Tiki, which gives them the pineapple.

episode #III: Three kings

The duo then try to figure out what to do with the pineapple. Special
suggests that he stick it in his nose, but Geezbat has a better idea.

They go to an abandoned fountain that's still got water and Geezbat
says that when he was little, his mother told him that if he threw
a magic pineapple into a fountain, he would get extensive magical
abilities for a year. He also recalls that at that moment, his father
came in and sat down, wearing a green ogre mask.

Special thinks stuffing it in his nose would help, and an old man walks
over to them, snatches it from them, and chants "Gee fladabas, potaa-to,
potah-to, spish ginsh!"

The pineapple glows, then teleports the trio to a medieval land.

Geezbat asks why they're here, and the man explains that the Holy Grail
is located in the land of Camelot, and that Special and Geezbat have to
save the land from 3 corrupted kings.

He then says that the first king has passed a law requiring everyone to eat
oranges, which must be stopped.

He then says that the second king is secretly a closet transvestite and
is considering a new law that requires everyone to be one too.

Geezbat asks how he knows this and the old man explains that he was the
second king's former lover.

Then, the old man says that the third king is actually a puppet ruler and
his wife, the queen, is in charge.

Special then asks which king they should overthrow first and after a pause,
Geezbat decides that they should take down the transvestite after playing
paper-rock-scissors with himself.

Meanwhile...

The second king is standing in front of his missor in a sexy feminine pose,
wearing a cape, a pair of pink panties, and a pink t-shirt with the words
"Buy a girl a drink?" on it.

King: Ooh, I look SOOO PREE-TTY!!! I could give that Queen Trix a few lessons
on beauty!!!

Outside, Special and Geezbat start to head torwards the drawbridge when
the old man pulls them out of view of the castle sentries and asks them
why they want to give themselves away.

Geezbat: Wasn't that the plan?

The Old Man (called Elliot), annoyed, gets them to follow him around to a side
of the castle that doesn't have any guards visible on it.

Elliot then asks if the two can fly or jump high with their powers, and
the retarded duo decide to try it. They both leap torwards the castle,
Special hitting the wall.

In the King's room...

BOOM!

King: Oh my goodness! What was that?

He then looks around and immediately, Geezbat crashes through the window.

The king gives a high pitched feminine shriek and covers his revealing garment
with his cape, eyes darting around, looking for any other intruders.

Geezbat picks himself up and notices the king.

Geezbat: Well what. SPECIAL, I MADE IT!

King: Er, What are you doing in my private room. You didn't even KNOCK!!!

Geezbat: Aha! You must be one of those kings! Get ready to die!

King: Er, WAIT NO!!! I'm not the king, I'm just a... doppelganger! Yes,
doppelganger!

Geezbat: Huh? Oh, okay. I must of gotten the wrong room. SPEC-AAUUUHHH!!!

At that moment, Special leaps in, landing on Geezbat.

Special: AUUGH!!! GEEZBAT!!! IT'S A TRAP!!!

The two are struggling to untangle themselves while the king's watching and
snickering.

The king quickly runs off torward his bathroom to change back into his dress/robe
when a splurt of water hits the wall near him and blows a hole in it.

King: AAAHHHH!!!!

He turns around and sees Special and Geezbat brandishing a sword and mace,
respectively. he then dives at their feet.

King: AHHH!!! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!! I JUST THOUGHT EVERYONE WANTED TO WEAR
DRAG!!! I CAN CANCEL IT!!! PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!!

Geezbat: Okay, Special: guard him. I'll go back for the old guy.

Geezbat turns around and leaps out of the window, a crash and echo soon being
heard.

Special: KING, YOU HAVE ME TO SEE YOU, Don't do anything.

The king stares dreamily upwards into Special's eyes.

King: Ooh... You're so handsome... You have the ginchiest eyes...

Special: What's an eye? And what does ginchy mean?

King: You are THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!

The king stands and holds his arms outward.

King: Come, come into my arms!!!

Special screams and steps back, trips on the broken glass, and falls out
of the window, landing in the moat below.

The king runs up to the window and looks out.

King: Oh My Goddess! I'd better call an ambulance!

Special is hauled out by Elliot, who groans, gives him CPR or something,
and Special wakes up, seeing a talking monster on a polka dot background.

Elliot: Special!!! Wake up!!!

Special: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Elliot: WH-WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA YELLING IN MY FACE?!?

Special's vision then returns to normal.

Special: Huh? Saw-ree, old guy. You were a monster for a minute there.

Elliot: The name's ELLIOT. <<I don't want to know...>>

Special: Hey, you see Geezbat anywhere?

Elliot: He went all the way into that forest over there.

He points toward a dark, gloomy looking forest.

Special: Oh my god.

Elliot: I'll say. He was the one of you I could actually STAND.

Behind them, a bruised Geezbat arrives, wearing a colorful rainbow
jumpsuit instead of his combat suit.

Geezbat: Guys!

Special, Elliot: AAUUGH!!!

Geezbat: Hey guys, I'm alive.

Elliot: DON'T DO THAT!!!

Special: Geez, where's your football suit? (ref. to Geezbat's fighting suit)

Geezbat: Well, this really wierd thing happened. I was attacked by this
guy in a helmet and his talking brown furball and then this
little girl came in with this white furball and talking horse
and her belt fired a beam that repelled the helmet man and brown
furball, and then they took me somewhere where I got some clean
clothes and some directions to here back from Rainbow-something.

Elliot: Rainbow-what?!?

Geezbat: Dunno. It could have been either land or lan or tan, like I said,
I dunno.

Elliot: Very strange.

Geezbat: Yah, I know.

Meanwhile, at the castle...

King: We HAVE to up security, Jeeves!

Jeeves: Yes, suh.

King: Those bastards saw me while I was doing "the thing", they must be
punished!!!

Jeeves: But I thought you'd fallen for one of them, suh.

King: Well, that's just my hormones. They're very naughty little boys.

Jeeves: yes, suh.

Special, Geezbat and Elliot are about to decide what to do next when an
ambulance arrives and a few paramedics hop out.

Medic: What happened? Where is the guy who fell in the moat?

Special: Moat?

Geezbat: Yeah Spec, moat. That's the thing around the castle where guys
pee in.

Elliot then whispers in Special's ear, and soon Special's saying how he feels
fine when he conks out.

The medics and the trio climb into the ambulance and drive away.

Then, Geezbat asks the medics what they're gonna do, and one of them says
that they're going to give Special a shot with a 2 foot long needle.

That thought scares Special, who was pretending to be hurt, and he leaps out of
the stretcher and starts clobbering everyone.

Elliot: AUUGGHH!!!

Geezbat: Help!

The ambulance veers off to an emergency side road and the driver and two cops
from the front get out and go around to see what's going on and when they
open the door, Special, with the springs to his feet again, leaps out, knocking
the trio over.

A few minutes later, when Special's calmed down, the three are riding the
ambulance to the castle, with the trio dressed in the paramedics' uniforms.

At the castle...

2nd King: Hmmm... I do NOT like this tummyache I'm getting. Jeeves, call a
doctor!

Jeeves: They've already come, suh.

Jeeves is pointing out the window and the king peers out to see the ambulance near
the drawbridge.

2nd King: Ah, excellent. Tell the man manning the drawbridge to lower it, Jeeves.

Jeeves: Be careful sire, it could be a trap from those two hooligans who broke
your window.

2nd King: I KNOW that. That's why all of my guards should be present. That's
what they're there for, right?

Jeeves: ...Yes, suh.

*Special, Geezbat, and Elliot get into the castle pretending to be there to help the
2nd King with his stomach problem, fight his guards and his giant muscular boyfriend,
Emanuel, and

Now, the trio go off to eliminate the King with the Psycho-Bitch Queen, stopping
because Special shrieked that he heard an ostrich. When Elliot asked him what
he heard, Special responded: "I HEAR GREEN!!! IT SOUNDS GREEN!!!"

Bewildered, the trio continue onward.

Episode #IV: The Greatest Horror

they arrive at the castle and hear yelling from inside a higher floor.

Special and Geezbat wince, while Elliot looks determined.

In the Castle...

Queen Ritch: AUUUGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!! How DARE you, you VILE WRETCH OF A MAN!!!

King Vectem/Ritch (forced to assume his wife's name): Aaahhhhhhhhh... Please...
My Queen... I BEG OOFFF YOOOOOUUUUUUUUU.

The group hear a crack that sounds like a large object breaking and cringe.

Neither of Special or Geezbat want to go inside the castle, and Elliot grabs them and pulls them by the shoulder to the place.

They see 2 walruses standing guard by the drawbridge and spouting gibberish.

They head around back and Geezbat tries leaping into a window, and crashes through the stained glass.

Queen Ritch looks up from her pummeling. King Vectem is lying in a bloody heap.

Queen Ritch: WHAT WAS THAT!?!??!!?!?!?

Ritch leaves and Vectem has a sigh of relief.

Geezbat get to his feet, dazed. he is in a dark room surrounded by torture instruments.

Geezbat: Omg... I'm GOING to DIE.

Sudenly, a giant banana with the head of a pink-and-orange gazelle and 4 bowling pin legs charges in, yelling: "I AM A LEMON TULIP, and I want a Bowling BALL WITH COCKROACHES."

Narrator: Holy crap, please dont noooo!

KONK!

New Narrator: Sorry folks I was locked in the janitor closet by that lunatic, I'm the true narrator for Special and Geezbat and their true names are Spencer and George and they're lawyers in a firm in wisconsin.

KONK! KONK! KONK!

First Narrator: I THOUGHT I LOCK YOU IN THE CLOSET!

Suddenly Geezbat wakes up and he's in a bed with Special in an inn in the forest, "Oh Special I had the worst nightmare I dreamed that somewhere in a strange land called Sumner two crazily dressed guys were fighting about us and one of them called us George and Spencer.

Special: Good you're awake let's start making love and forget about those crazy nightmares.

Geez wakes up on the floor of the room and sees the banana get killed by a giant pillsbury boy clone that has four arms and pliers for hands.

Eyes wide, he runs to the door, screaming (Yes, there IS a door in this room...).


He runs into Ritch and screams again.

Ritch: HOW DARE YOU, YOU PESKY INTRUDER! I'M GOING TO STRING YOU UP... AND TORTURE YOU!!!

Geezbat: OOOHHHHHH NNNOOOOOOOO........ ELL... SPECIAL... MY CUTEY GODDESS LANGVAN (?) SAVE ME AND TAKE ME TO YOUR ALLURING CRYSTAL PALACE AND PUT YOUR LEASH ON MYSELF, YOUR FIRST LOYAL PET SLAVE!!! (Obviously not focusing on Spec. or Elliot)

Ritch: YOOUUUU... I'LL REALLLY TORTURE YOU FOR THIS!!!

Geezbat: AAAUGGHHH!!! HELP!!!

Geezbat tries to run from Queen Ritch and smacks into a wall.

Special hears the thud.

Special: Oh no! Geezbat needs my help!

Special makes a loud shriek and a large Homosexual wearing platform
sandles runs in, leaps, and smashes into Geezbat's castle floor.

Ritch: WHAT?!? ARRGH!!!

She suddenly runs off to savagely beat the king for no logical reason,
because she's one-dimensional.

Special leaps in.

Special: Geez!

Geezbat gets up.

Geezbat: Huh?

Special: Geez!

Geezbat: Special! Where are we?

Special: The castle!

Geezbat: Let's get out of here! I don't want to fight that monster again!

Meanwhile,

Ritch: Husband!!! THIS IS SOMEHOW YOUR FAULT!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!

The king is nervously hiding in a cupboard.

Ritch opens it.

Ritch: Aha! Didn't you think that I would have found you here, AGAIN?!?

King: Eep!

Ritch: Now, prepare to d- ARRRGH!!!

She gets grabbed by the gay guy, who bites her head off and eats it after
she somehow turns into a gummy treat.

Gay Guy: Hmmm, good! Hey, are you okay? Are you scared?

The King nods nervously.

Gay Guy: Here, you look like you could use a little treat!

He tosses him the rest of the gummy Ritch, and the King clambers out of
the cupboard, eating it.

King (after finishing): ...I'm free. I'M FREE!!! Thank you!

Gay Guy: Aw, don't mention it.

King: WHAT CAN I DO TO REPAY YOU?!?

Gay Guy: Hmm...

The Homosexual smiles.

The King's eyes widen.

Episode V: YAY!!! ORANGES!!!

The trio continued onward, Elliot saying "Now, when we get there, you must
GO AROUND to the back, then look for a small hill. In that hill is a hidden passageway INTO
the castle."

Geezbat said "Gotcha, old man. Where'll you be?"

Elliot said "I will... guide you to the hill, of course! I cannot come all the way with
you, as the King has forbade my presence, and he has posters of me all about the place,
making it easy to spot me!"

Geezbat said "Oh, okay. Couldn't we disguise you? Maybe something like this?"

He takes off his football helmet and rams it onto Elliot's head.

Elliot: Mmmph!

Elliot struggles for a while, then gets it off.

Elliot: NO! I can't be seen like that, nor can I stay to look after you! Take care
of YOURSELVES, and I will be back later on with equipment for the both of you!

Elliot helps Special and Geezbat find the hidden passageway, then when they've
left, he leaves, heading off to somewhere...

In the throneroom of the Third King, there are pictures of Oranges, sculptures
of oranges, a rack of torture instruments resembling oranges, and many
other things resembling oranges.

The Third King is reclining on his garish throne, putting out a cigarette and
dropping it into an orange shaped ashtray. He is talking to his royal advisor.

Third King: Ha ha, the people will LOVE my orange mandate! WHO CAN RESIST THE WONDERS
OF AN ORANGE?!? The taste, the look of it, the... Citrus...

The King quivers for a while, then reaches for a box, pulling out an orange
from it and starting to peel it.

Advisor: Indeed, my lord. It shall be FANTAST-EEC. ALL THOSE PEASANTS...

Third King: YES... AND IT WILL ALL BE THANKS TO THE OBJECT OF LEGEND... Advisor!
Have my elite team of heroes discovered it yet?

Advisor: Yes, sire. They beat to death the inspirational young children
carrying it. Shall I have it brought here?

Third King: ...HELL YEAH.

The Advisor leaves and brings back two abnormally tall basketball players,
at around 8 foot four each, both carrying a huge chest.

They open it, and show the King what the sacred object is.

The Holy Grail.

------

Special and Geezbat have entered the castle via the secret passageway,
and are wandering around, drawing attention from confused peasents.

Special and Geezbat are demorphed. When Geezbat sees one of the villagers,
pointing a finger, jaw wide open, he says "Hey, we're here to take out yer king.
Can you show us where he is?

Geezbat follows the villager, Special wanders off in a random direction
only to be herded by other villagers in the same direction as Geezbat and
the other villager.

The advisor runs into the chamber, looking deeply disturbed. The king is smoking
from a bong made of orange peel and some squash-looking substance, and looks up,
surprised.

Advisor: Sire! SIRE!!!

Third King: Whuh? <pulls> What the HELL is it, baz?
What has your panties in a knot?

Advisor: SIRE, THE PEASANTS ARE ANGRY, IT COULD BE THAT THEY HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU
AND YOUR CITRUSY TYRANNY, AND IF SO, THEN THEY HAVE TWO VERY, VERY POWERFUL
ALLIES WITH THEM!!!

Third King: *snort* Yeah, RIGHT. FUCK THEM!!! FUCK THOSE VILLAGERS, THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM!!! THEY NEED TO BE BABIED, MADE TO TELL WHAT TO DO,
NEH-NYEAH HA HA, THEY NEED TO BE ...*PUPPETS!*

The Third King starts TO snigger like an eerie psychopath, his eys crossing, a wild,
uber-happy look in them.

All of a sudden, the doors burst open, and the villagers storm in, led by
Special and Geezbat.

Special: HAH-HO!

Geezbat: You're dead, King!

(COMMERCIAL BREAK <HOHOHO>)

Special and Geezbat are standing confident in front of the King, the villagers behind them
and the Advisor standing off in one corner, getting increasingly nervous, sweat beginning
to drip off of his face and hands. The King starts to leer at Special and Geezbat, trying
to look sinister, like the greatest villain of all time, only he messes this up and simply
looks weird, like an energetic pedophile in a drug-induced anime.

Geezbat: We're not that afraid of you, King-ie! We're gonna take you down! Special, ready!

Geezbat whips his head around to look at Special in a coordinated action-tv way.

Special whips his own head around to look at Geezbat.

Special: Yeah!

Special and Geezbat move their arms as if to touch imaginary henshin bracelets, then,
in a choreographed motion, move their arms toward each other in a "FUU-SION" sort of way.

Special: Magic Pee-pee!

Special morphs into his red spandex/fotobal uniform/boxers, flexing a bicep.

Geezbat: Flying Blue Appliances!

Geezbat morphs into his blue s/fu (don't take it the wrong way)/b, doing a Ginyu Force style pose.

Special and Geezbat do a different set of poses.

S&G: SPECIAL AND GEEZBAT... SPECIAL INVESTIGATION... SEN-TAI... (How the fuck do Geezbat and
esp. Special know Japanese? -Ed)

Special and Geezbat both do the sam fists in the air, one leg up, bent knee pose, each
facing the opposite direction.

S&G: ...*Sputter* SPECIAL AND GEEZBAT!!! (? -Ed)

The Third King (His name is Sneebles, m'kay? -Ed <?>) gets up, stretching his chest and flexing
his muscles.

Third King: No one will escape from my decrees! WE WILL ALL AGGG<BLEEP> OURSELVES ON ORANGES
AND BENEFIT FROM IT GREATLY!!! *SPIT, SPUTTER*

The King's deranged look gets even sillier and more deranged.

Special: Geez, this guy's crazy!

Geezbat: Yeah, I know. You take him from the left, I'll take him from the right!

Special: Go' it.

Spec. and Geezbat move to either side of Sneebles, arms raised and fists clenched.

Sneebles: How-HOw DARE YOU... THIS *SNICKER* THIS ISN'T A FAIR FIGHT! ADVISOR, *OOH-HO-KAI-OOU*

The Advisor looks aghast.

Advisor: NO!!! PLEA-AAAAAARGHHHH!!!

The Advisor turns into a huge, orange, musclar, somewhat hairy monster, mouth brimming with
sharp, creepy teeth.

Geezbat: Special!

Monster: AROO... BLARARUUUUH *Slobber*

Special turns around.

Special: AUUUGH!!!

Special narrowly avoids being clobbered by the monste, rolling aside and getting back up,
readying himself for another attack.

Geezbat tries to punch Sneebles, but he dodges and punches Geezbat's shoulder, sending him
stumbling back a few feet.

Sneebles: YOU CAN-NOT DEFEAT ME!!! MY BELOVED ORANGES WILL SEE TO THAT!

Geezbat whips out his mace.

Geezbat: Yah bloody right. C'mere.

Sneebles keeps his distance, smiling growing to Joker-esque proportions.

Special whips out his sword, watching the monster readily.

THe Monster is making "Hoo hoo hoo" sounds, stratching his abdomen and left breast,
then begins to relax and scratch his crotch.

Special: AUUUHHHH!!!

Special runs his sword into the monster, causing him to gasp and slump over, making low moaning
sounds.

Geezbat waves his mace at Sneebles, who grabs it, turns the macehead into an orange and eats it,
grinning at Geezbat eerily, orange juice dripping from his mouth.

Geezbat begins to sweat, seeing Sneebles, grinning devilishly, orange juice dripping down
sloppily...

Just then, Geezbat gives out a loud shriek, and fires from his nose, no, NOT water, but
a huge of snot, which hits Sneebles, knocking him over and wrapping around him like a cocoon.

Sneebles: Hmmphh... AAUGH!

Geezbat then leaps up in the air and fires a hadoken.

Geezbat: AAAUUUUGGHH!!!

The Hadoken hits Sneebles, killing him instantly.

Geezbat lands on the ground, panting. Special runs up to him.

Special: Geezbat! We did it!

Geezbat: Yeah, hey, what's that?

He points to the chest containing the Holy Grail.

Special and Geezbat run up to the Chest, faces lighting up as they discover the very thing
they were looking for all five episodes...

Geezbat picks up the Holy Grail.

Geezbat: Hey, Spec. We got it at last.

Special: YEAH! THEE ONE THING DAMN -FUCK- NEAR EVERYONE HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR, THE ONE THING THAT
GUYS HA' BEEN QUESTING FOR EVER SINCE MUSCLEY DUDES WENT RUNNING AROUND IN LOINCLOTHES,
KILLING DRAGONS AND RESCUING PRINCESSES!

Geezbat: Yeah! I think I remember how to activate this thing, I saw it in a golden oldie once.

He holds up the Holy Grail, which shines in the sunlight.

Geezbat: Klaatu... Verada... Nikto!

The Holy Grail begins to shine, and Spec and Geezbat's feet briefly glow a bright yellow
and tingle with electricity.

Eventually, the Grail stops shining, and Geezbat lowers it down to his chest.

Geezbat: Spec... It's DONE.

Special: Ahh, YAY!

Special shakes his fists in the air.

Just then, a voice cuts through the sunlit throneroom.

???: Good. I'm glad you could activate the damned grail by yourselves.

Special and Geezbat look. The voice belongs to Elliot, standing in front of the villagers.

Elliot: Congratulations, you two. Your feet are saved. Your quest is over. Now come with me.
Now is the time for you to begin in a new direction.

Geezbat: Why?

Elliot: DAMMIT, JUST COME WITH ME!!! *WHOO*


Special and Geezbat come with Elliot, who leads them out of the castle, and to a huge, pale
blue tent.

In it, they find a streamlined silver-white short bus with blue stripes, a fat, forty-something
latino guy bending over and working on the engine, his crack showing.

Elliot: Now that your quest for the Holy Grail has ended, The two of you can now wander
the globe, seeing weird shit, fighting for good...

Special: Hey, YAH. We can go to Transylvania and fight Dracula! Or we can go to Japan and
fight Ninjas and Samurais! Or we can head to the Caribbean and battle Pirates
and spot MER-MAIDS!

Elliot: DAMN IT... <pops> LET ME TALK, SPECIAL ED...
ANYWAY, This will be your new Bus, the S&G A&W Superbus! It has the latest in gadgets,
and it is driven by none but the best, this fellow whose name is Emilio! Say hello, Emilio!

The latino man, Emilio, turns around to look at them, says "Hola" and farts.

Elliot: Emilio, be glad that you have a strong heart, unlike me... Come along you two...
There's still so much more to see...

Elliot leads them to a weird brain-machine.

Special: HEEY, A STRAINER!!!

Elliot: NO. Anyway, this machine can help give you more powers when you need a boost in combat.
Just get into the machine and pull the lever.

Elliot leads the two to a huge closet, which he pulls open to reveal two sets of futuristic
silvery Road Warrior looking armor.

Elliot: And this is your Heavy Duty armor, another thing you can make use of when the
situation is desperate, and I MEAN DESPARATE! DON'T USE THIS ARMOR TO PICK UP CHICKS...
or something...

Special: *Sputters* I DON'T WANT TO PICK UP *BIRDS*!

Elliot: NO! ...JEEZ, just take Emilio and all this stuff and get out of my fuckin' life!!!

Special, Geezbat, Elliot and Emilio pack everything up, load it into a trailer at the
back of the short bus, and Special, Geezbat and Emilio get into the Superbus, which soon
starts up and speeds off, Elliot watching it go, off into the sunset.

Geezbat: Special, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Special: It is? YAY!!!


THE FUCKING END. YAY!

[FancyMichael]

07/10/11
Re: Hello, Mike Payne...
That's okay, I noticed... And I've still managed to go to a few different backed-up copies of your website, tripping out, getting drunk and imagining that you were writing up new material, planning on celebrating the 10th year anniversary of your page, remembering that bad-ass sand nigger Mr. Popo, who unfortunately died in August, 2002, eaten alive by ravenous vaginas.

...I shall continue to do up new LSD trip comedy fiction, just for you, and I do love you so much, expanding the boundaries of comedy and insanity for me, and I'd like to be your friend, chatting with you and shit.

Also, I saw a few of your comments, on Thor, and on one or two games, interesting stuff from you, there.

...Hope to keep chatting and being friendly to you, the one who was called "God" by Psaturn and triple_life...

...The Mortal Meteo



07/12/11
Re: Hello, Mike Payne...
So, did you get the chance to read my stuff? What do you think?



07/13/11
So, how was my wonderfully trippy fiction?
...And how trippy is it when compared to Whore House, in your beautifully descriptive (ambigiously gay) mind? Also, I am going to try and befriend you, I just love you so much.



07/17/11
Thanks a lot...
I love interacting more and more with the guy who produced one of my favorite web pages, and how good do you think that Special and Geezbat fiction of mine was? I realise that you haven't responded (due to laziness), and I think I can hold out for a little while longer, but when you can respond again, let me know.

...It also might be good for you to check out the obscure goddies I've uploaded, as well as check out my favorites, I've got a lot of 'em there.



07/21/11
Re: Thanks a lot...
Oh, I first wrote back when I was about 17, when I was drunk, and I was farting around, which, along with continuing at my own pace, including various specific design elements done up all Tokusatsu-like, references to Rainbow Brite, deliberately getting more serious or weird (sometimes to the point of being surreal), and I took around one, a few days, to write each episode, and I give my Special and Geezbat Series as a free present to many of my new friends, occasionally testing new stuff on them, and when I made friends with JKTIM (One of the "Youtube Ranters" group, sort of like the old "K52 gang", a bunch of fun, slobby, casual assholes who make up lots of silly, zany, sometimes batshit insane comedy), I gave him my series, and when I finished Episode five, I tested it on him, and he loved it, and such. If I finish some new fiction, I'll be sure to send it your way, and I'd like to talk to you from time to time in the future, maybe asking you some of the in-depth questions I didn't get a chance to before.

...And I wasn't really inspired by much, I let, made, guided my brain into creating and distorting, and I took advantage of my boozing and getting tipsy and/or trippy, which let me create my fiction with the beautiful trippy surreal dream look that I love, and create.

...Anyway, hope to see you soon...

Meteo



08/03/11
I'm back, Mike...
Howdy, Mike Payne, I'm back, and this time, I'd like to interview you, ask some questions and shit, which is a kick-ass opportunity, one which I didn't have for around a decade.

First off: Have you ever watched any of the AVGN videos, Hellsing920, or anything else to ocome along after you shut down your website?

Second: Did you get to see the end of Chandler's comic after you shut down your page?

Third: What were you planning to do with both your Mr. Popo's Palace and Hentai Pirates that didn't happen?

Fourth: Have you seen any good Anime lately?

Fifth: What do you think of there being a whole lot fewer DBZ websites (or a whole lot fewer of any websites, for that matter.)?

Sixth and final: One of these days, I'm going to get a new website up, and if I do get it up, will you post stuff on my site with me, be my co-writer, that would be awesome.

...I hope to hear back from you on these,

Meteo, fan of the legendary web comedian and the legendary sand nigger



08/14/11
Re: Hello, Mike Payne...
So, how is that interview thing coming? Don't fucking' (<-- An ASCII micro-penis...) worry, I have greatly improved things in my life (and to an even greater extent, my mind...) ,,,And I can wait for around a few weeks before a response from you, which should help your lazy ass.

...Also, where did you go in the last several (a DECADE,,,) years? Did you go to any-fucking-where in Europe again, or havedid (<--IT GOT STUCK TO MY POST....) you stay in the U.S(,,,.Asshole)?



08/22/11
Okay, Mike...
...I've now got a new website up, so would you be willing to occasionally post up some new comedic material with me, every now and then? I'll run the bulk of the web site (which should fit your laziness, some...), and you would simply put up a little bit every now and then, maybe even giving me a funny picture to use.

...If you're willing ot become my partner in my new web site, can you let me know, and also, what about those questions I sent to you, can you answer them, and then get back to me in the next few weeks?

...If you can get me answeres to all of these, then I would be most grateful, and shit.

...Thanks,

...Meteo Archon

P.S: I also enjoyed undressing you in that special Flash/Java thingie on Kakarot52's old site, it helped me convey my love for you.



09/20/11
..Hey, Mike Payne...
...Hey, I noticed that you added a few video to your favorites, good for you!

...Also, did you get those questions I sent you, and can you answqer them?

[FancyMichael]

11/03/11
MIKE!!! Contact me Soon!!!
...I"m trying to talk with you!!! Why won't you answer me!!! I love you!!!



11/04/11
PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME!!! I LOVE YOU!!!
PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

...Try and e-mail me back, or give me your phone number, so I can call you, or some shit.



11/11/11
That thing about GOodwing was Kick-Ass, Now why won't you talk to me?!?
..Mike, please, STOP BEING LAZY< and talk to me, I need to know, will you work with me on my site,,,,,, and is anything I previously sent to you wrong?!? WHY WON'T?!? YOU ANSWER ME, WHEN I answered you before?!?

P.s: I'M Going to die of Cancer, unless you talke to me withing the next three days! (!!!)



11/25/11
MIKE, I KNOW YOU"RE LAZY, BUT IF YOU GET THIS CAN YOU CHAT WITH ME VIA PHONE OR E-MAIL
MIKE, I KNOW YOU"'RE LAZY, BUT IF YOU GET THIS, CAN YOU CHAT WITH ME VIA PHONE OR E-MAIL???

...I need to know, quickly.



11/28/11
MIKE, WHY AREN'T YOU RESPONDING, I CAN"T HOLD ON ANY LONGER!!!
...I'm trying to contact you again. Can you respond soon?



12/09/11
Re: MIKE, I KNOW YOU"RE LAZY, BUT IF YOU GET THIS CAN YOU CHAT WITH ME VIA PHONE OR E-MAIL
...I'd like to ask you several things.

First off: Have you ever watched any of the AVGN videos, Hellsing920, or anything else to ocome along after you shut down your website?

Second: Did you get to see the end of Chandler's comic after you shut down your page?

Third: What were you planning to do with both your Mr. Popo's Palace and Hentai Pirates that didn't happen?

Fourth: Have you seen any good Anime lately?

Fifth: What do you think of there being a whole lot fewer DBZ websites (or a whole lot fewer of any websites, for that matter.)?

Sixth and final: I've got a new website up, and are you going to contribute stuff to it every once in a while, with me doing the bulk of the work?


...And if you check your Hotmail address, I could periodically send you stuff there.

Interested,
Meteo Archon



12/17/11
So, how were the uestions I sent you? Were they good rnough? Are you busy this Christmas, or just your usual tremendous lazy?
...I await your reply, and checking out your newest Like was fascinating. I used to play Marvel vs. Capcom 2. in the Arcades before 9/11.



12/23/11
Hey, how've those questions been, and how has your Holiday been?
...Thus far? How's that additional question? Also, I've got an additional present I'll be giving you on xmas day.

...Meteo



12/25/11
Merry Christmas, Mike! Here's your present!
I hope your Xmas went great! Here's your Present!

:8-

...I also found it fun to play the game where you get undressed at kakarot52s', I thought it was great to see your face, with it's casual serenity, and slight curiosity.



12/31/11
Happy New Year, Mike Payne, I Love You!!!
...How Are those questions I sent you??? ...And have you glanced at Chandler's comics in the last decade, after your site went down?



01/04/12
Re: MIKE, I KNOW YOU"RE LAZY, BUT IF YOU GET THIS CAN YOU CHAT WITH ME VIA PHONE OR E-MAIL
...It's okay, Mike Payne. I understand, and I already prepared, well in advance, for your laziness, which is why I held out against your long silence, important to let you know, also, If you can get anything online, I'll take it at your, and to a little more of an extent, my own timing.

...I understand, and I still love you, and you were it was particularly juicy when you were being undressed at Kakarot52's, anyways, you can get Chandler's comics from my web site, I didn't let them die.

...You were kind of an asshole in that last one, and that's not too bad, mostly because I'm an asshole too, and it's my understanding of that that led to us doing so well together, besides, it was your writings on your web site that led me to that, and I had no excuse not to find them, and understand. It helps, you see, when both of us understand satire...

...whoo... another one converted to G-mail? I see, and I assumed something like that, well in advance.

...The DBZ fanboys left, and Hellsing920 described why, search for him, that was what I found after I stopped hanging out with the K52 gang, and their masturbation.

...Part of the change, by the way, is because of what I went through; way too much just.,. subtle changing, and I couldn't continue with some of my fiction series.

...I hope you can get back to me, and you can respond fairly soon. I do think that you are still fun, and I have several more things to (,casually,) show you, such at the "Did you Fuck a Goat?" video, and some minor things I noticed, part here, and mainly elsewhere.

Love you,
Your lovacious lover,
Meteo Archon

...xIoxooxoxoxoxo,-:8-...

...P.S.: Is my dick too small? I'm insecure...?



01/25/12
Magical Penis-y bullfuck...
...Meri's web site is still up, oddly enough, when places like DB COoffee Table and Saiyanz Power have long gone.

...I still use that animated gif of her dancing when I need something for a tough situation.



02/07/12
Mike Payne, I remember you're old tirades / Editorials, against Sailor Moon,
...And, I remember ignorant bullshit, against EFFEMINATE SAILORS!!!

...Read it, and weep.




07/15/12
Crotch, fuck crotchcigarettes, harvey giraffe: gynecologist, and smelly wheelbarrows of chees-fraud, and you need to read this hazey-chenisy cymbal and xylophone essay ballad by me:
...And can we chat more?

Also, I've got an DeviantARt channel, so are you interested in that? Also, ever hear of Ani-Mayhem?

.-Meteo



09/16/12
Hey, Mike, there's a new DBZ Indie film being made, and I figured I'd let you know about it. Head on over to DRAGONBALLPROTEST on Youtube, there.
...Also, Ninja Carl!



10/21/12
Here, you can check out Chandler's comics again on my web site:
https://sites.google.com/site/meteoarchon/downloads

...Here, it's got all the Whore House, and if you didn't read it, Chandler did another comic, after Whore House, Stoned Gecko. It's on there, too.



12/21/12
Happy Armageddon, Mike Payne!!! Here. I have a little present for you!!! If you need anything more, read on!
...Here, that funny fucking movie you made Hilarious false summary shit about, and It's good shit!

Here's to you. and here's to Mr. Popo, and at google sites meteoarchon, you'll find backups of chandler's comics, and some other, obscure, weird odds and ends.
Thumbnail27:40
GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE
...Here it is, the movie that Mike Payne made some fake summary about, that was Fucking hilarious!!!

The 1992 independent comedy, made by gayniggers, Gayniggers!




01/04/13
Mike Payne, - here's your old USENET Posts, from the First Age.
groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.team-rocket/browse_thread/thread/ad80e8d8377be5/bcb700e545635173#bcb700e545635173


...Oh, and EFFEMINATE SAILORS!!! (Eeh-FEMIN-AATe-SAILERS...)

[Ryoko's Biatch]

I hope you feel bad about this.

[FancyMichael]

Yeah, I actually spent a long time debating about whether sharing MY CORRESPONDENCE (if you can even call it that because it's so one-sided) with this guy WITH YOU GUYS was appropriate or not. I've sat on this stuff for years now (although I mentioned this guy and the story that he wrote a while back in chat), which should be some indication that, like I said, I actually put some thought into this.

If enough of you guys CHASTISE me for what I did (well, only if you all seem genuine), I suppose I'll just delete THE POSTS IN QUESTION, and then message the guy, tell him what I did, and apologize.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Nah, I don't even care, this guy is clearly insane.

[Jason]

Why did you choose to share this now?
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[FancyMichael]

His last message (where he sent me a link to decade-old usenet posts that he thought I had made) was sufficiently goofy enough to motivate me to post everything here. It was one of those things where I saw the email notification about the message and I was like, "Oh yeah, this guy."

[ALDP]

Mike (in a horny voice): "Oh yeah, this guy."

[Fagzilla]

That shit is weird.

And there is absolutely no reason not to post it.

[MADali]

That guy is just a FTU guy playing with you.

[Big Fagot]

Theldorrin ...

[Jason]

I wonder how this guy even tracked Mike down on YouTube. I guess it was probably easy when there was only a single person in the world going around liking and subscribing to things like this and this.
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[Jason]

And this.
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[FancyMichael]

Nothing wrong with farts, man.

[ALDP]

This play was really hard to finish.

[Jason]

Yeah, plus it seems like Mike barely gave you any feedback.
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[Fagzilla]

What an exquisitely-rendered joke.

[Fagzilla]

That came off as bitterly sarcastic, but it wasn't.

It was just plainly sarcastic.

[Jason]

Nice totally-necessary hyphen.
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