Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Jason · (Wed May 02, 2012 10:58 pm)

I was listening to a SModcast and Kevin Smith said it was weird to celebrate weddings, as they're ubiquitous, and that childbirth should be celebrated, with which I disagreed.

In this thread, we rate life events commonly celebrated by how much celebration is actually warranted.

My first crack at a list, in descending order of importance:

1. Graduation
Probably the most concrete, practical accomplishment the average human experiences. Culmination of years of work and aspiration.

2. Long term anniversary (over twenty years)
Regardless of feelings on monogamy, staying with the same person for long periods of time suggests an agreeable disposition and emotional functionality. To be praised.

3. Birthday
While void of any personal merit, it's good to honor your friends at least once a year and reflect on what they mean to you, and birthdays are a good chance to do so.

4. Significant professional achievement
Lower than graduation as there's a much higher variance in dignity here. If it's a real triumph, in a noble field, congratulations are certainly in order.

5. Traditional coming of age ceremony
Communions, bar mitzvahs, whatever. While dragged down by religious connotations, it's nice to provide a child with some dignity in an otherwise humiliating time.

6. Housewarming
Not necessarily for a literally house, but finding any nice place to live for the long term is a feat, and it's good to have people over en masse to display it.

7. Marriage/Short-term anniversary (between one and ten years)
Weddings are pretty lame since they so often don't make it, but the ostensible intent behind them is still somewhat admirable. Likewise, staying with someone for a decent amount of time.

9. Baby shower
Babies are mundane. If the couple/person has adopted, though, this should shoot upward. Otherwise, big deal; this party should be more a warning to raise the child right than applause for just making one.

10. Bon voyage
If someone is going away for a while, it is appropriate to demonstrate that they will be missed and leave them with a nice memory of home. But it is possible to go overboard.

11. Minor professional achievement
You know, buy them a beer or something.
_________________
Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Ryoko's Biatch · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:08 pm)

Jason · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:10 pm)

Yes, that's coincidentally at the four hundred and twentieth spot on the list, just after "Had a nice nap."
_________________
Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Theldorrin · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:15 pm)

I'm lazy, so I'll just reuse yours.

1. Significant professional achievement

I'm surprised that anyone wouldn't view this as the most important. If someone wins a significant award that will define their impact on the world and history, then that is it. Most people will never have this in their life.

2. Housewarming

Provided they're buying, this is their first home, and it's indicative of them working to it rather than being gifted to them.

3. Graduation

Meh. Almost everyone gets it, but it's probably the most significant moment of passage in a person's life.

4. Bon voyage

If you're not going to see someone for a long time, then you need to get a good dose.

5. Minor professional achievement

Good for them.

6. Baby shower

Last rite of passage that is celebrated (retirement and death are sort of questionable). I think traditionally they're only had for the first born, too.

I don't think the other things should be celebrated at all.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

Jason · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:19 pm)

You can and should do housewarming for renting.
_________________
Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Theldorrin · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:41 pm)

Renting is so mundane it'd be like celebrating wiping your bum.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

Fagzilla · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:41 pm)

This is an interesting topic.

I don't know how you missed funeral, but I suppose it's likely you DID think about it and dismiss it for some gay Jason reason.

So I'll talk about that, since I have one to go to in four days.

The problem with funerals is that the speed with which they happen is blitheringly retarded for every reason except for the one critical fact that a rotting corpse is involved, so it MUST be done fast if the corpse is going to be part of the festivities.

But here's the thing: it shouldn't be. There is no reason for the body to be involved. It's disgusting.

Open casket is horrific and almost comically macabre (yeah I really want my last memory of the person to be an unerasable image of their unnaturally waxy, contorted, and lifeless face), and closed casket is pointless. The coffin could be filled with pennies and seaweed for all anybody knows.

The body should be disposed of quickly (by cremation, nobody should ever be buried in the fucking ground, but that's a whole other issue), and then people should TAKE THEIR TIME with the funeral.

Give it a month, or two, or six, like you would with a wedding or ANY other social occasion involving extended family or travel, as opposed to giving everybody four fucking days to cancel their plans (impossible in many cases) and get where they need to be while a small group of grief-stricken people scramble like mad dogs to set up arrangements for a logistically-complicated, expensive, emotionally-draining event.

I have no problem with funerals in theory, but the way they are carried out is retarded and hundreds of years out of date.

Jason · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:47 pm)

No, I hadn't considered funerals.

However, I wonder if they belong on the list, considering that all the other things were for people, present.
_________________
Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Theldorrin · (Wed May 02, 2012 11:53 pm)

I thought you hadn't included it because it was not a happy occasion.

Open casket is absolutely horrific.

I basically agree 100% with everything Chris said about them.

The notice is so short that it's remarkable that you can even get in touch with people, let alone them traveling there.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

Ryoko's Biatch · (Thu May 03, 2012 2:44 am)

I don't think a week is unreasonable since most jobs will let you take time off for that shit.

I will say that, when I die, I want to be cremated and no funeral because that shit is gay and a waste of time.

Fagzilla · (Thu May 03, 2012 2:53 am)

It certainly would be, in your case, since nobody cares about you.

Fagzilla · (Thu May 03, 2012 2:53 am)

o god fagtown i've missed u so much

SuperPsaturn · (Thu May 03, 2012 4:55 pm)

I hope the funeral in four days is yours. Now that would be worth celebrating.

Vinny · (Fri May 04, 2012 3:58 pm)

Yeah, I agree with Chris on every point. Funerals could be a good way for people to get together over a common theme (person they once knew isn't alive) but everything else should be completely dissimilar to how funerals typically are.
_________________

MADali · (Sat May 05, 2012 6:01 am)

Graduation shouldn't be even on the list. I didn't attend my own graduation. I remember the university asking me why I wouldn't want to attend, and I told them because I felt no sense of pride in getting my bacheler's degree, because it wasn't that hard.

And wedding is necessary, sometimes, but I hate it. Spending so much money for a one or two day event is idiotic, and mine was a month ago, and while we had a huge number of guests (400 on first day, 800 on second), I don't think I personally invited anyone myself. It was basically something for my wife & my immediate family, otherwise, fuck it, what a waste of money and time. I was drunk during both two days, since I wasn't at my engagement party last year, and being sober made it awkward & boring.

I hate birthdays too. I hate buying gifts, and I don't really like having gifts bought for me.

When it comes to professional achievement, I don't really need to celebrate it nor want anyone else congratulating me, I know I'm doing well, I don't need some moron telling me that.

I honestly don't like any sort of special occassions. Other people's special occassions are boring and I hate making time for it, and my own usually means extra work for me.

Although, maybe once I have a baby, it will be different.

Jason · (Sat May 05, 2012 11:18 am)

I didn't attend my graduation either, and don't regret it, but I do think it's most generally the highest in value of any personal accomplishment.
_________________
Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Theldorrin · (Sat May 05, 2012 11:26 am)

You really think graduating from something is a greater accomplishment than winning a Nobel prize?
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

Jason · (Sat May 05, 2012 12:44 pm)

I could have phrased it better, but I used the word "generally" in that post to signify commonality.
_________________
Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

Theldorrin · (Sat May 05, 2012 12:52 pm)

Are you saying that most people won't have a significant professional achievement in their lifetime, or that your standards for that are such that something less significant than graduation could qualify?
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

Fagzilla · (Sat May 05, 2012 1:24 pm)

What MADali said about weddings is true, in terms of them being stupid and expensive, but I'm going into mine sort of embracing that almost BECAUSE it's stupid. I just never, ever, ever, EVER thought that I was going to get married, and it's cheesy and hilarious to me that I am. So it's like, "whatever, I'm just going to do it."

400/800 people? What the fuck? I don't think I've even met 800 people in my life. And what's this about two days??